FA Cup quarter-final results

Claymore won't be defending their trophy after crashing out to a powerful Trusted display. Two previous winners and two teams who've never picked up a pot go into the yellow bag for the semi-final draw.

Aardvark Abacus 2 v 0 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 1 v 2 YTFIB
The Dead Parrots 0 v 1 Final Fantasy XI
Trusted By Millions 5 v 2 Claymore Athletic FC

Holders Claymore had featured in the last three finals but their hopes of a winning hat-trick were dashed by Trusted. Clive had led twice in this one, through Sergio Aguero after 15 minutes and Olivier Giroud just after the break. Beef turned it round five minutes later in a two-minute spell. Edin Dzeko levelling and then Adam Lallana steering in a minute later. Cleans from Gary Cahill and Phil Bardsley completed the win. Will Aguero's hamstring injury hamper Clive's title chances too I wonder?

The rest of the ties were closer. Nil Satis held out against the Aardvarks for the best part of 80 minutes before Steven Jovetic's shot deflected in and Vincent Kompany doubled the advantage with a couple of minutes to go. YTFIB love a Cup run and they saw off Fred in unusual circumstances. Fabian Delph diverted into his own net on nine minutes to give Fred the lead but Julian levelled shortly after through Jason Puncheon, now redeemed after that shocking penalty miss of a couple of weeks ago. The winner came from Delph, this time at the right end, when he fired in off the underside of the bar. The Final Fantasy/Dead Parrots game was settled by one goal, Yaya Toure getting it from the spot for Ceri. What a signing the Ivorian has been.

Week 17 Results

Claymore hit top spot for the first time this season.

Aardvark Abacus 3 v 0 Mega Buck Bandits

Cheese Makers 5 v 0 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 1 v 2 Final Fantasy XI

Real Muppets 4 v 0 FCK2

San Dimas High School 1 v 1 The Fabulous Artisans

The Dead Parrots 1 v 2 Claymore Athletic FC 
Trusted By Millions 4 v 4 The Cow-Faced Juniors

YTFIB 1 v 3 Athletico Phoenix


	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	Claymore Athletic FC	17	11	0	6	43	33	10	33
2	The Cow-Faced Juniors	17	10	2	5	46	27	19	32
3	San Dimas High School	17	9	4	4	38	26	12	31
4	Real Muppets	17	9	4	4	37	25	12	31
5	Trusted By Millions	17	9	4	4	32	26	6	31
6	Aardvark Abacus	17	9	3	5	30	27	3	30
7	The Fabulous Artisans	17	8	4	5	50	38	12	28
8	Final Fantasy XI	17	7	4	6	27	27	0	25
9	Cheese Makers	17	7	3	7	29	31	-2	24
10	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	17	5	4	8	38	42	-4	19
11	Athletico Phoenix	17	5	3	9	25	40	-15	18
12	Mega Buck Bandits	17	4	5	8	23	32	-9	17
13	FCK2	17	4	4	9	24	34	-10	16
14	YTFIB	17	4	4	9	17	33	-16	16
15	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	17	4	3	10	25	35	-10	15
16	The Dead Parrots	17	3	5	9	18	26	-8	14

Claymore become our sixth different leaders of the season but they did it the hard way. Bottom of the table dead Parrots took a first half through Jesus Navas and Clive didn't level until 11 minutes from the end when Sergio Aguero picked out the bottom corner with a low shot. The Swordsmen finally managed to drive home the win through a Joel Ward clean. The CFJs lost the top spot in an incredible 4-4 draw with Trusted. Beef's team were two up in a quarter of an hour through Jay Rodriguez and Edin Dzeko but a brace from Samuel Eto'o had levelled this up by the break. Eto'o's (wow! apostrophes!) hat-trick goal put Chris in front four minutes into the second period but he was trailing four minutes later. Steven Gerrard's spot-kick and Chico's hapless own goal might have won it for Beef but Julian Speroni came to Chris's rescue.

San Dimas are a further point back after a rather tense draw with the Artisans. Dejan Lovren hooked in for me on the half hour but the in-form Adam Johnson came off the bench to earn Ben a point with 20 minutes left. Also on 31 points with San Dimas and Trusted are the Muppets. Ryan's team took 45 minutes to break down CK2's defences when Daniel Sturridge raced on to a through a ball and lifted in. Kevin's team battled away in the second half but a last minute Frazier Campbell and two cleans wrapped it up for Ryan.

The Aardvarks are a point further back after seeing off Mega Bucks. Ady hasn't always had a great working relationship with Emanuel Adebayor but the Togolese striker has been in superb form in recent weeks and got the two goals that broke brother Dave's resistance before Nacho Monreal added a clean to make it 3-0. While we're on the Bevan's Ceri is only eight points behind the leaders. Yaya Toure marauded forwarded to put Final Fantasy ahead on 76 minutes but Fred was level two minutes later through Wilfried Bony's clever cushioned shot. Damien Delaney was the man whose clean gave Ceri all the points.

Cheese Makers are top of the bottom half after a crushing win over Nil Satis. Yohan Cabaye was Matthew's star man scoring twice but Kevin Mirallas is finding the net with more regularity and added to his tally. It's been a long time coming but the Phoenix are back to winning ways. The Parrots did take the lead in this one through last week's penalty-misser extraordinaire Jason Puncheon but two from Santi Cazorla set Brian on the way to victory.

FA Cup Quarter-final draw

Mrs Co-ordinator did the honours and pulled out one real plum...

Aardvark Abacus v Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

Fred West Landscape Gardening XI v YTFIB

The Dead Parrots v Final Fantasy XI

Trusted By Millions v Claymore Athletic FC

Games to be played midweek 28/29 January.

Week 16 Results

The CFJs lose but hang on to top spot as FCK2 hold San Dimas. Four points cover the top seven!

Athletico Phoenix 1 v 1 The Dead Parrots
Claymore Athletic FC 2 v 1 Cheese Makers
Final Fantasy XI 0 v 0 Real Muppets
FCK2 2 v 2 San Dimas High School

Mega Buck Bandits 3 v 4 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI


Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 1 v 2 Trusted By Millions
The Cow-Faced Juniors 2 v 4 Aardvark Abacus
The Fabulous Artisans 6 v 1 YTFIB


	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	The Cow-Faced Juniors	16	10	1	5	42	23	19	31
2	San Dimas High School	16	9	3	4	37	25	12	30
3	Claymore Athletic FC	16	10	0	6	41	32	9	30
4	Trusted By Millions	16	9	3	4	28	22	6	30
5	Real Muppets	16	8	4	4	33	25	8	28
6	The Fabulous Artisans	16	8	3	5	49	37	12	27
7	Aardvark Abacus	16	8	3	5	27	27	0	27
8	Final Fantasy XI	16	6	4	6	25	26	-1	22
9	Cheese Makers	16	6	3	7	24	31	-7	21
10	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	16	5	4	7	37	40	-3	19
11	Mega Buck Bandits	16	4	5	7	23	29	-6	17
12	FCK2	16	4	4	8	24	30	-6	16
13	YTFIB	16	4	4	8	16	30	-14	16
14	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	16	4	3	9	25	30	-5	15
15	Athletico Phoenix	16	4	3	9	22	39	-17	15
16	The Dead Parrots	16	3	5	8	17	24	-7	14

The CFJs are looking a bit vulnerable at the moment and Chris' team went down to defeat to one of their title rivals. A goal in either half from Luis Suarez had the CFJs in control but a whole host of cleans see the Aardvarks keep in the title picture. If Ady can add a striker in the January window he may well be a threat to the rest of the contenders. San Dimas missed a chance to go top as they grabbed a point at FCK2. Kevin's team were two up in this one through a smart finish from Jack Wilshere and a Steve Sidwell header but Danny Welbeck pulled one back on the hour and Dejan Lovren's clean meant it finished 2-2.

Claymore needed a first 'counter' of the season from David Luiz to edge Cheese Makers. An excellent Kevin Mirallas free-kick had equalised Olivier Giroud's but Luiz's clean proved the difference. Trusted are fourth after coming from behind against Nil Satis.Paul was gifted the lead when a wild shot took a huge deflection off Ryan Shawcross and flew in after five minutes but Beef was level three minutes later when Edin Dzeko capped a decisive move with an emphatic near post finish. Steven Gerrard provided the winner from the spot early in the second half.

The Artisans snapped their recent bad run of form with a 6-1 thrashing of YTFIB. Julian was in front in this one, Peter Crouch picking out the bottom corner with a header from 12 yards but Ben's team came roaring back after the break. Christian Eriksen's superb control and first-time finish drew the sides level, Adam Johnson got two after coming off the bench and Alvaro Negredo added another to his tally. Fred is suddenly hitting the form that brought him the title three seasons ago. In a cracking game against the Mega Bucks, who looked like winning after going 3-2 up after going into injury time, the Gardeners bagged the win thanks to cleans from Nemanja Vidic and Alexandr Kolarov.

Goal of the week was probably Gareth Barry's long-ranger for the Parrots against the Phoenix. It was only good for a point though as Brian levelled through a Pablo Zabaleta clean. No goals between Final Fantasy and Real Muppets. What else can I say about that? Er... both teams still in the top half. 

FA Cup First Round Results

The holders go through but the league leaders are out.

Aardvark Abacus 0 v 0 San Dimas High School

Cheese Makers 0 v 1 YTFIB

FCK2 1 v 2 Final Fantasy XI

Mega Buck Bandits 1 v 3 Claymore Athletic FC

Real Muppets 3 v 5 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

The Cow-Faced Juniors 0 v 2 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI

The Dead Parrots 3 v 2 Athletico Phoenix

Trusted By Millions 2 v 1 The Fabulous Artisans

Replay

San Dimas High School 1 v 2 Aardvark Abacus

FA Cup holders Claymore are through to our quarter-finals. Their game against Mega Bucks was level at 1-1 as we moved into injury time, Charlie Adam cancelling out Ross Barkley's strike, but then cleans from two of Clive's long-serving defenders Bacary Sagna and Gael Clichy took him through. The 2013 runners-up are out though. The game between the CFJs and Fred was drifting towards a replay when Wilfried Bony powered in a last minute header and Cesar Azpilicueta finished things off for Fred with a clean.

There was another surprise as Nil Satis snapped out of their recent poor form to knock out the Muppets. Nikica Jelavic opened his account for the season with a brace, Nathaniel Clyne, Oscar and Seamus Coleman got the others that put Paul 5-0 up. Ryan replied with a Frazier Campbell goal and two cleans to cut the deficit but it was too little, too late. Trusted returned to winning ways to put out the Artisans. Ben's team were ahead on 34 minutes through Adam Johnson but Beef left it late with cleans from Phil Bardsley and Martin Kelly to turn things round.

Final Fantasy are finding their feet after a rocky patch and it was cleans from Damien Delaney and Mark Schwartzer beat FCK2 after Darren Bent had opened the scoring for Kevin. YTFIB like the occasional cup run and Julian's team are through to the last eight after edging out Cheese Makers courtesy of a Paul McShane clean.

The Dead Parrots got the better in the battle of the bottom two to see off Athletico Phoenix. Wayne Routledge executed an excellent lob after a great through ball to open the scoring and Rickie Lambert doubled the lead on 28 minutes. Santi Cazorla had space to pull one back for Brian three minutes later but Robert Snodgrass restored the advantage right on half-time. A clean from Per Mertersacker ended up as a consolation. In the last game on Match of the Day Aardvark Abacus and San Dimas played out a dismal goalless draw.

And in the replay Danny Welbeck's clever steered finish looked like seeing my team into the last eight but cleans from Nacho Monreal and Danny Rose see the Aardvarks through.

Week 15 Results

Claymore and Trusted lose ground...and maybe I am a dark horse.

Athletico Phoenix 1 v 4 Real Muppets

Claymore Athletic FC 1 v 3 San Dimas High School
FCK2 1 v 1 Aardvark Abacus
Final Fantasy XI 2 v 0 Trusted By Millions

Mega Buck Bandits 1 v 1 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
The Cow-Faced Juniors 2 v 1 Cheese Makers

The Dead Parrots 0 v 1 YTFIB 

The Fabulous Artisans 5 v 5 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI


	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	The Cow-Faced Juniors	15	10	1	4	40	19	21	31
2	San Dimas High School	15	9	2	4	35	23	12	29
3	Claymore Athletic FC	15	9	0	6	39	31	8	27
4	Real Muppets	15	8	3	4	33	25	8	27
5	Trusted By Millions	15	8	3	4	26	21	5	27
6	The Fabulous Artisans	15	7	3	5	43	36	7	24
7	Aardvark Abacus	15	7	3	5	23	25	-2	24
8	Final Fantasy XI	15	6	3	6	25	26	-1	21
9	Cheese Makers	15	6	3	6	23	29	-6	21
10	Mega Buck Bandits	15	4	5	6	20	25	-5	17
11	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	15	4	4	7	33	37	-4	16
12	YTFIB	15	4	4	7	15	24	-9	16
13	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	15	4	3	8	24	28	-4	15
14	FCK2	15	4	3	8	22	28	-6	15
15	Athletico Phoenix	15	4	2	9	21	38	-17	14
16	The Dead Parrots	15	3	4	8	16	23	-7	13

The CFJs exited the old year top of the league and they start the new one the same way. Chris didn't have it all his own way against Cheese Makers, Oussama Assaidi firing Matthew ahead with a trademark long-ranger, but Luis Suarez equalised a minute later and Willian struck the winner. San Dimas are up to second after defeating Claymore. The action came late in this one with Danny Welbeck breaking the deadlock on 67 minutes before Saido Berahino and Theo Walcott took me over the line with goals in the last three minutes.

The Muppets are still flying high despite missing Daniel Sturridge. Ryan rocketed into the lead before the break through Mo Diame, Gabby Agbonlahor and Danny Agger. The Phoenix got a consolation from Nicklas Bendtner but the Dane knacked himself in the process to add to Brian's striker woes. Trusted's march up the table was halted by Final Fantasy. Ceri took the lead through Yaya Toure just before the hour (what a signing he's been) and a Gareth McAuley clean finished Beef's side off.

What a game between the Artisans and Fred! The Gardeners raced into a 4-0 lead through Fernandinho, Wilfried Bony, Fernando Torres and Alexandr Kolarov before Ben replied with Christian Eriksen's header. Bony's second restored the advantage but a Leighton Baines penalty set up the fightback and three cleans grabbed a point for the Artisans. YTFIB were the biggest climbers after winning the basement battle against the Parrots. Julian up to 12th by virtue of Jason Puncheon's penalty.

The other two games ended in draws. Oscar stayed on his feet long enough to score a late goal to put Paul ahead against Mega Bucks but a Cissokho clean earned a point for Dave. FCK2 and the Aardvarks have trouble winning games lately so it was no surprise to see this one end level. Steve Sidwell nodded Kevin in front but Emmanuel Adebayor replied with a header two minutes later.