Co-Ord Round-up Part Two - 9th-12th

9th The Dead Parrots (up one place on 2007/8)
Definite signs of life for the Parrots who had their best season in four years. Only the top five won more matches than Dean's team whose assault on the top half fell short by virtue of losing more than only the bottom four. The Parrots strike force of Kevin Davies and Kenwyne Jones looked extremely useful but need back up from the rest of the squad if the progression is to continue.
Star Player: Paul Konchesky (one goal, 11 clean sheets)

10th Fred West Landscape Gardening XI (down eight places)
Another team whose big players (with the notable exception of Nemanja Vidic) failed to perform. Fred's team won half as many matches as last season when they came close to claiming the title. Fingers must be pointed at the strike pairing of Didier Drogba and Dimitar Berbatov who notched only eight between them compared to 23 the season before but Fred clearly needs more strength in depth.
Star Player: Nemanja Vidic (three goals, 19 clean sheets)

11th Nil Satis Nisi Optimum (up three places)
Not a lot I can say about Paul's team really apart from his 'hands off' management style wouldn't suit everyone! The other thing is if Everton do well Nil Satis will generally do well and if Everton don't perform... well, you get the picture. Only the Champions conceded fewer goals but Paul's team missed Saha, Eduardo and Anichebe for much of the season which put too much pressure on Bobby Zamora at the sharp end.
Star Player: Joleon Lescott (four goals, 13 clean sheets)

12th York's Returning Glory (up four places)
Like the Parrots this was YRG's best performance in four seasons. Unlike the Parrots Julian's success was built on a rock-solid (for him) defence. Julian's team returned its joint lowest goals conceded tally since we went to a 16-team league and the clean sheets boosted a goal tally that was their best since that 10th place in 2004/5. Wil need to find better support for Peter Crouch if this season is not to be a 'flash in the pan' though.
Star Player: Manuel Almunia (14 clean sheets, two saved penalties)

Co-Ord Round-up Part One - 13th-16th

13th Dynamo Kev (down one place on 2007/8)
There may be shake-ups in Dynamo's scouting network this summer as the excellent signing of Santa Cruz in 2007/8 was followed this season by those of Fabricio Coloccini and Jonas Gutierrez. Kev failed to progress on his first season and rumours coming out of Covingham Park suggest that Santa Cruz could be offloaded if the price is right to fund a rebuilding campaign.
Star Player: Brad Friedel (14 clean sheets in all competitions)

14th San Dimas High School (down seven)
Yikes! Lengthy injuries to key players Yakubu, Ashton, Essien and Walcott left a big hole in my team that the reserves failed to fill. The midfield suddenly looked defensive and big summer signing Deco wasn't up to it. Worst finishing place for six seasons. Don't let it happen again me!
Star Player: John Terry (one goal, 15 clean sheets)

15th Mega Buck Bandits (down seven)
Dave was another huge faller and posted his lowest points total and finish in the 16-team era. Mega Bucks didn't live up to their name running from a squad of 22 and one of the lowest wage bills. Big money signings Alan Hutton and David Healy hardly featured, the Bandits need a bit of an overhaul if they're to bounce back.
Star Player: Phil Neville (14 clean sheets)

16th Final Fantasy XI (down one)
Ceri was understandably distracted at the start of the season and was unable to strengthen before the campaign started. Final Fantasy were only off the bottom of the table for four weeks of the season but performances did improve after the turn of the year. The signing of Andrei Arshavin has many other managers looking on enviously and could be a springboard for a better campaign next time.
Star Player: Danny Collins (one goal, seven clean sheets)

Week 30 Results

Aardvark Abacus 2 v 1 Real Muppets
Dynamo Kev 3 v 4 The Fabulous Artisans
Final Fantasy XI 2 v 5 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 2 v 1 The Dead Parrots
Mega Buck Bandits 2 v 3 Claymore Athletic FC
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 3 v 2 Trusted By Millions
The Cow-Faced Juniors 5 v 2 22 Legged Groove Machine
York’s Returning Glory 0 v 0 San Dimas High School

Sheriff hangs on to second, the CFJs nick fourth, the Artisans and Claymore finish in the top half.

Not to be Trusted

Ricardo Quaresma has left Trusted By Millions after a three-month spell with the club.

The Portuguese international, winner of the 'Golden Bin' award for the worst player in Serie A in December 2008, was a speculative £500k signing for Trusted manager Andy Perfitt in February but has failed to impress.

Trusted moved swiftly to replace Quaresma in the squad with young defender Richard Eckersley from Manchester United.

New cast for the Muppet Show

Real Muppets boss Ryan Moore hasn't been resting ahead of the season finale week 30 matches even though he's missed out on the honours this season.

Defender Jack Hobbs has left the club for Leicester City (who will play in something called The Championship) for £500,000.

Ryan invested the Hobbs money in England under-19 skipper Ciaran Clark. The central defender joins from Aston Villa where he has earned rave reviews for his performances in the Villains reserves.

Dates for your Diary

If you delete your mails a bit too vigorously, here's my 'belt and braces' backup for you...

As soon as possible - Those of you that haven't got back to me yet please let me know if you're playing next season.

23 May - Cut-off for votes on the possible new re-cat process

24 May - 4pm, pool closes for new signings (and does not open until after transfer window auction)

24 May - 4pm, Week 30 matches kick off

24 May - later on, results published

24/25 May - final round-up of the season published

W/c 25 May - I'll add your season's prize money during the week. If you want to know your balance drop me a line but I'll let you know as transfers are made and before the auction

1 June - deadline for you to tell me if you wish to retain any relegated players

Sometime between mid-June and mid-July - re-cat exercise (you'll have a couple of weeks for any appeals)

1 July - my player dump 'amnesty' ends - be on your guard!

12 July - last date for new rule submissions

late July - New season provisional fixtures published

early August (9th/10th?)- transfer auction and AGM

15th August - 2009/10 season begins

WSFFL - Close Season Transfer Procedures

This seems a good a place as any to post this sort of thing if we lose our e-mails...

Relegated Players

You have until 1 June to tell me if you would like to retain any of your relegated players. After this date I will remove them from your squads and credit your bank balances with half their value. If by some miracle they are picked up by a Premier League club over the summer the manager in question will be given first refusal to take that player back for the amount of compensation they received. Their value in the game will be as it was before relegation.

If you think the player concerned may be in for a big money move you may want to retain him. I can't think of many other reasons for doing so.

This system is much easier for me to employ than any sort of piecemeal dumping through the summer. If you are thinking of hanging on in case they come back please think again. There is a reason why they've been relegated.

The Pool

Purchases - The pool will shut for purchases when the last games of the season kick-off. It will not re-open until after the pre-season auction.

Dumps - The pool stays open for you to dump players. Once again I will give you a player dump 'amnesty' until 30 June. This will give you time to work out whether any of your players are retiring, leaving on frees, returning after loan etc. and give you the opportunity to cash in. After this date, if I contact you before you get in touch with me you could lose players in this situation for nothing. Sorry, but them's the rules! If you dump any players from non-relegated teams (contract expired, loanees, that sort of thing) you won't be offered them under the 'first refusal' rule. They'll go into the 'summer pool' and under the hammer at the August auction.

Undisclosed Fees

As usual SoccerNet will be the source for transfer fees throughout the close season. In the situation of an 'Undisclosed' fee being recorded you will be offered what you paid for the player. If you would like to query an undisclosed fee please send me links to two reputable websites transfer centres or news stories which agree on a fee. I will not accept newspaper cuttings, fan sites or collaboration sites such as Wikipedia that can be easily altered.

Private Deals

In the rare event that you want to transfer between clubs please get on with it and let me know.

What's in a (nick)name!

The stories behind those Dynamo Kev player nicknames from the man himself...

'Commissioner' Craig Gordon - An obvious reference to the Batman character recently portrayed on the big screen by Gary Oldman
'Pinky' Bendtner - Nicklas has worn ludicrously fashioned pink boots on the games that he has played this season
'Rocket' Santa Cruz - Coined when Roque was the hottest striker for Melwood FC. Since the change of club name his form has been pants
'Fabulous' Aurelio - Fabio has been one of Dynamo Kev's most consistent performers this season and is renowned for his 'Fabulous' free-kicks
Michael 'Marius' Ball - A little known fact. Michael was in the original cast of 'Les Miserables' and has a singing career outside of football
'Kashmir' Coloccini - His Robert Palmer locks draw an obvious parallel with the Led Zeppelin frontman
'Big Noz' Nosworthy - Allegedly drawn from his early days in the changing room. I am assuming it's because of his big nose.......
'Bayleaf' Gardner - The dreadlocked midfielder often works from early morn, you'll find him sweeping up the leaves and tidying the lawn
'Tommy-Gun' Rosicky - Tomas likes to bring his 'Inside Soap' into training and is infamous for his constant 'sniping' and gossip-mongering!
'Hilarious' Hilario - Only with the club for less than a week but has already become the joker of the team. Has already put jam in the 'Gaffer's' shoe

Week 29 Results

22 Legged Groove Machine 2 v 0 Mega Buck Bandits
Claymore Athletic FC 5 v 2 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Dynamo Kev 0 v 4 The Cow-Faced Juniors
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 3 v 2 Aardvark Abacus
Real Muppets 2 v 0 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
San Dimas High School 2 v 0 Final Fantasy XI
The Fabulous Artisans 1 v 2 York’s Returning Glory
Trusted By Millions 5 v 1 The Dead Parrots

Aardvark Abacus are the 2008/9 WSFFL Champions.

Kev Wields the Axe

Times - they are a changin' at Dynamo Kev.

Kev has reviewed his squad's performance and has ejected seven players who have failed to impress. They are;

Mamady Sidibe, Michael Ball, Nick Barmby, Brett Emerton, Amaury Bischoff, Stuart Taylor and Gilberto.

Rather than wait until next season the Covingham Park supremo has brought in six to replace them. The lucky half-dozen rescued from the pool are;

Diego Tristan, Alan Smith, Jay Spearing, Erik Nevland, Jonathan Spector and Henrique Hilario.

Week 28 Results

22 Legged Groove Machine 1 v 5 The Fabulous Artisans
Claymore Athletic FC 0 v 3 The Cow-Faced Juniors
Final Fantasy XI 2 v 4 Mega Buck Bandits
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 1 v 2 Trusted By Millions
Real Muppets 3 v 3 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
San Dimas High School 0 v 4 Dynamo Kev
The Dead Parrots 3 v 1 Aardvark Abacus
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 0 v 3 York’s Returning Glory

Despite their defeat Aardvark are on the verge of defending their crown after Boston Rock slip up.

Shuffling Deckchairs

On the good ship San Dimas High School which is listing badly but hopefully staying afloat!

Keith Andrews has left Blackburn Rovers to sign with the struggling High School team. The 28-yr-old Republic of Ireland international may well make his debut against Dynamo Kev this weekend.

Mustapha Riga has left the 'Saints' after failing to score in his eight-month stint with the club.

Battle at the Bottom

We looked at the race for the title a few weeks ago but how about life in the lower reaches?

Three games to go and mathematically six teams could prop the table up.

11. Nil Satis 30 points
12. Dynamo Kev 28
13. York's 28
14. San Dimas 25
15. Mega Bucks 25
16. Final Fantasy 23

I think Nil Satis have just about done enough so how do the run-ins for the bottom five look?

Dynamo Kev
Still have San Dimas, the CFJs and the Artisans to play. Three points from these games should be enough for Kev.

York's Returning Glory
Tough matches against Boston Rock and the Artisans before finishing against San Dimas. That last match could be important.

San Dimas High School
I hope will find enough against fellow stragglers Dynamo, Final Fantasy and York's to avoid my worst season ever.

Mega Buck Bandits
May need to get something in the crucial game against Final Fantasy this week as it's followed by the Groovers and Claymore.

Final Fantasy XI
If April's Manager of the Month can get her team to find that form against Mega Bucks and San Dimas, Ceri has a great chance of climbing off the bottom before a tough finish against Boston Rock.

Week 27 Results

Aardvark Abacus 1 v 2 Claymore Athletic FC
Dynamo Kev 4 v 1 Real Muppets
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 6 v 0 Final Fantasy XI
Mega Buck Bandits 0 v 2 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 1 v 2 22 Legged Groove Machine
The Cow-Faced Juniors 1 v 3 San Dimas High School
Trusted By Millions 2 v 0 The Fabulous Artisans
York’s Returning Glory 3 v 0 The Dead Parrots

Only a fourth league defeat for Aardvark, the door is still ajar.