Sunday, 16 August 2009

Mystery 'Swine-Flu' virus hits Dynamo!!

Confusion surrounds the Covingham Park club this morning, as a succession of absentees have ruled themselves out of the home clash with Paul Saleh's 'Nil Satis'.

The club Doctor was called away from his weekly trip to ASDA, to investigate the mystery illness that has afflicted the club prior to the commencement of the 2009/2010 WSFFL season.

"It is a strain of Swine-Flu known as "Knee-Monia" said the Club Medic following his preliminary investigations. Gareth 'Straw' Bale, 'Fabulous' Aurelio,and new signing Steve Finnan were all struck-down overnight with the debilitating virus. "I just can't understand it Boss" said a gutted Finnan. " I was all set to make my debut for my new club, when I felt a twinge in my knee after I had made myself some supper last night. Perhaps the crackers were too high in the kitchen cupboard ?".

The three unfortunates have joined the ever-increasing injury list which has hit Dynamo Kev badly. 'Tommy-Gun' Rosicky has had his club debut postponed yet again with a hamstring injury, and Abu Diaby has had a groin problem over the summer recess. When challenged about his injury, Diaby became embarrassed, and developed a nervous 'Dreyfuss-like' twitch.

This morning's news has dulled the feeling of optimism around the club following last weekend's auction. "I believe that we have a squad capable of moving away from the bottom third of the table" said Club-Captain Brad Friedel. "For the first time in many seasons, we have a genuine strike-force that will score regularly". This was echoed by Club Supremo Big Kev: "I believe Brad Friedel is correct when he says that 'For the first time in many seasons, we have a genuine strike-force that will score regularly'."

Of the ten players who joined the 'Dynamos' this week, six will make their debut against the 'Blues'. Cristian Benitez misses-out due to match fitness issues, and Kanu and Dos Santos are aware that they have probably only been purchased for their transfer-value, rather than their abilities on the field.

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