Paul Cartmell Memorial Trophy 1st Round Results

Athletico Phoenix 2 v 3 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Final Fantasy XI 6 v 3 The Cow-Faced Juniors
Mega Buck Bandits 1 v 6 Real Muppets
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 4 v 6 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
San Dimas High School 1 v 1 Trusted By Millions
The Cheese Makers 1 v 2 Claymore Athletic
The Dead Parrots 4 v 0 Aardvark Abacus
York's Returning Glory 1 v 4 The Fabulous Artisans

Perhaps Sheriff should tell his team it's the PCMT every week! Boston Rock have yet to pick up a league victory but turned on the style and stretched their unbeaten run in this competition to 20 matches (by my reckoning). Star of the show this week was hat-trick scoring Frank Lampard in a 'I told you not to write me off' kind of way. Nil Satis put up a late fight but left it too late, mounting a stirring comeback from 6-1 behind. After three straight years of a Boston Rock v Aardvark final that won't be happening this time round. Ady's team were battered 4-0 by the Dead Parrots and fail to make it past the first round for the first time since 2004.

Dean's Parrots were one of only two teams from last season's bottom half to knock out higher-placed opponents. The others were the in form Final Fantasy who put six past the CFJs. Andy (Andrew) Johnson was Ceri's hat-trick hero and cleans from Enrique and Schwarzer snuffed out Chris's comeback and put Final Fantasy in the quarters for the first time in five seasons. Bottom of the table Real Muppets were our other six-hitters this week against Mega Bucks. Dave's team have effectively become a bye in this competition, not winning a game since 2002. Ryan's Muppets will hope that their season starts here.

Athletico Phoenix (in all their various guises) are another team that have struggled with this competition, winning just one tie since we went to a 16-team league. Brian was one the way to breaking that hoodoo mid-way through the first half through goals from Morrison and Bendtner but van der Vaart pulled one back for Fred before the break and then won the game with a late Danny Welbeck goal and a Kolarov clean. The Cheese Makers were another team to take an early lead but finish on the unhappy side of the result. Shane Long looked to have given Matthew the half-time advantage but Tim Howard's saved penalty equalised for Claymore and Jonny Evans registered the winning clean.

York's' great start to the season came crashing to a halt at the hands of the Artisans. Samir Nasri gave Julian hope after Adam Johnson and Mario Balotelli had Ben two up on the hour but two more Artisans cleans made the score look lop-sided. One game goes to a replay this week - Trusted are still unbeaten this season but needed a clean sheet to rescue a draw after Kyle Walker had smacked one in for San Dimas from long range