Week 12 Results

The top two back on the winning trail.

Aardvark Abacus 0 v 1 Trusted By Millions
Athletico Phoenix 1 v 4 The Cow-Faced Juniors
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 3 v 1 Final Fantasy XI
Real Muppets 4 v 4 Mega Buck Bandits
San Dimas High School 1 v 2 Claymore Athletic FC
The Cheese Makers 3 v 4 The Dead Parrots
The Fabulous Artisans 4 v 1 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 1 v 1 York’s Returning Glory

I'm going to break with tradition and start at the bottom of the table because we had a bonkers basement battle between the Mega Bucks and the Muppets. The only goal of the first half was Thomas Vermaelen's header for the Muppets on the half hour, it was after the break when things heated up. Kieron Richardson got the equaliser on 52 minutes and a quickfire double from Steven Fletcher plus one from Steve Morison in the space of eight minutes had Dave 4-1 to the good with nine minutes left. A Daniel Sturridge breakaway goal on 90 minutes reduced the deficit and then two Muppets cleans from Cole and Koscielny meant it finished honours even and it's 'as you were' at the bottom of the table. I wouldn't fancy playing either of these teams in the cup next week...D'oh!

To the top then. It looks a routine win but leaders the Artisans left it late to beat Nil Satis. Paul was ahead from a long-range Mikel Arteta effort and Ben wasn't level until the 74th minute when Thomas Sorensen bagged a clean and a bit of concussion. A deliberately shouldered in goal from Mario Balotelli and a low drive Adam Johnson in the last three minutes were added to by a clean from Asmir Begovic. A rare occasion when a manager bags cleans from both keepers. Trusted are still in hot pursuit after beating other title hopefuls the Aardvarks 1-0. Beef had an early setback with Gary Cahill's surprise sending-off but two minutes later defender/midfielder Phil Jones arrived in the six yard box to volley in the only goal.

Fred West are in third after victory over Final Fantasy. Didier Drogba's neck-muscle bending header had been equalised by Yaya Toure so it was cleans from Kaboul and Vidic that got Fred home. The Cheese Makers are fifth after a 4-3 defeat to Yakubu, I mean the Dead Parrots. The move down under has done wonders for The Yak who has moved on to eight for the season after this four-timer. That's more than the last three seasons combined and brought a welcome win for Dean who had fallen into the clutches of the foot of the table. A second successive win for the CFJs brought a second straight defeat for the Phoenix. Controversial former Phoenix defender Gareth Bale opened the scoring on seven minutes with an improvised flick from a corner and Aaron Lennon and a Wayne Hennessey penalty save had the CFJs three up before Robin van Persie bagged his customary goal. Clint Dempsey nipped in five minutes from time to end hopes of a Phoenix renaissance.

Claymore are back in the top half after edging out San Dimas. Heidar Helguson opened the scoring for me with a textbook header but that was cancelled out by Sergio Aguero's poke through a forest of legs 12 minutes later. Last season's Player of the Year Branislav Ivanovic was credited with the winning clean. The Boston Rock charge was part-halted by York's in a 1-1 draw. Samir Nasri opened the scoring for Julian when his free-kick eluded the Boston Rock rearguard. The lead lasted less than ten minutes before Jermain Defoe levelled.