(More of the same but this time with the players from the bargain basement.)
GK: Joe Hart (Dead Parrots)
DEF: Jose Fonte (Cheese Makers), Gary Cahill (Trusted), Guy Demel (Mega Bucks), Dejan Lovren (San Dimas)
MID: Steven Gerrard (Trusted), Adam Johnson (Artisans), Stephane Sessegnon (Trusted), Ross Barkley (Claymore)
ATT: Daniel Sturridge (Muppets), Loic Remy (Artisans)
Subs: Wojciech Szczesny (Aardvarks); Nathaniel Clyne (Nil Satis); Raheem Sterling* (Muppets); Wayne Rooney (Claymore)
* Yohan Cabaye (formerly of Cheese Makers) scored the same number of goals as Sterling but is excluded after leaving the league in January.
Previous selections
Monday 26 May 2014
2013/14 Awards - English Team of the Season
(Same rules as before but for the England-qualified players)
GK: Joe Hart (Dead Parrots)
DEF: John Terry (FCK2), Gary Cahill (Trusted), Nathaniel Clyne (Nil Satis), Curtis Davies (Mega Bucks)
MID: Steven Gerrard (Trusted), Kevin Nolan (FCK2), Adam Lallana (Trusted), Adam Johnson (Artisans)
ATT: Daniel Sturridge (Muppets), Rickie Lambert (Parrots)
Subs: Ben Foster (FCK2); Leighton Baines (Artisans); Ross Barkley (Claymore); Jay Rodriguez (Trusted)
And as it's a World Cup year let's get a squad of 23 together with these...
Michael Dawson (Trusted), Steven Caulker (FCK2), Kyle Walker (San Dimas), Glen Johnson (FCK2), Luke Shaw (FCK2), Phil Jagielka (Aardvarks), Kieran Gibbs (Artisans), Danny Rose (Aardvarks)
OK, it's seriously defence heavy, they're not all fit, there are only two goalkeepers, there's no Wayne Rooney and Terry's retired from the international scene but it's only a game.
Previous selections
GK: Joe Hart (Dead Parrots)
DEF: John Terry (FCK2), Gary Cahill (Trusted), Nathaniel Clyne (Nil Satis), Curtis Davies (Mega Bucks)
MID: Steven Gerrard (Trusted), Kevin Nolan (FCK2), Adam Lallana (Trusted), Adam Johnson (Artisans)
ATT: Daniel Sturridge (Muppets), Rickie Lambert (Parrots)
Subs: Ben Foster (FCK2); Leighton Baines (Artisans); Ross Barkley (Claymore); Jay Rodriguez (Trusted)
And as it's a World Cup year let's get a squad of 23 together with these...
Michael Dawson (Trusted), Steven Caulker (FCK2), Kyle Walker (San Dimas), Glen Johnson (FCK2), Luke Shaw (FCK2), Phil Jagielka (Aardvarks), Kieran Gibbs (Artisans), Danny Rose (Aardvarks)
OK, it's seriously defence heavy, they're not all fit, there are only two goalkeepers, there's no Wayne Rooney and Terry's retired from the international scene but it's only a game.
Previous selections
2013/14 Awards - Team of the Season
(All awards are made on basis of contributions in all WSFFL
competitions. Where there is a tie, contributions in league matches
take precedence. Then I'll try to separate them by goals scored. Then
perhaps by nicest hair.
If you see two or more names as subs in a position I still couldn't
split them.)
GK: Hugo Lloris (Fred West LG XI)
DEF: Seamus Coleman (Nil Satis), Laurent Koscielny (Real Muppets), Per Mertersacker (Athletico Phoenix), John Terry (FCK2)
MID: Yaya Toure (Final Fantasy), Steven Gerrard (Trusted), Eden Hazard (Fred West), Oscar (Nil Satis)
ATT: Luis Suarez (The CFJs), Daniel Sturridge (Muppets)
Subs: Tim Howard (Claymore); Pablo Zabaleta (Phoenix); Juan Mata (Cheese Makers); Olivier Giroud (Claymore)
Steven Gerrard the only player from the League champions to get into the team. It's his first appearance since 2010/11. After six years on the list there's no place for Frank Lampard. Despite finishing 15th Nil Satis have two representatives in the eleven.
Previous selections
GK: Hugo Lloris (Fred West LG XI)
DEF: Seamus Coleman (Nil Satis), Laurent Koscielny (Real Muppets), Per Mertersacker (Athletico Phoenix), John Terry (FCK2)
MID: Yaya Toure (Final Fantasy), Steven Gerrard (Trusted), Eden Hazard (Fred West), Oscar (Nil Satis)
ATT: Luis Suarez (The CFJs), Daniel Sturridge (Muppets)
Subs: Tim Howard (Claymore); Pablo Zabaleta (Phoenix); Juan Mata (Cheese Makers); Olivier Giroud (Claymore)
Steven Gerrard the only player from the League champions to get into the team. It's his first appearance since 2010/11. After six years on the list there's no place for Frank Lampard. Despite finishing 15th Nil Satis have two representatives in the eleven.
Previous selections
2013/14 Awards - Players of the Season
(Awards are made on basis of contributions in all WSFFL competitions.
Where there is a tie, contributions in league matches take precedence.)
Player of the season, Attacker of the season and Golden Boot:
Luis Suarez (The Cow-Faced Juniors) - 26 goals
After completing his ban at the start of the campaign it was a great season for the bitey Uruguayan who bagged 19 in the league and seven in the PCMT.
Golden Gloves:
Hugo Lloris (Fred West LG XI) - 15 cleans
Fred's renaissance had a few standout performers but was built on the foundations of his French 'keeper who wrests this award from Joe Hart after three years.
Defender of the Season:
Seamus Coleman (Nil Satis Nisi Optimum) - five goals, 14 cleans
After a couple of quiet seasons Coleman stepped up and contributed at both ends of the pitch. Paul's season would have looked a lot worse without him.
Midfielder of the season:
Yaya Toure (Final Fantasy XI) - 16 goals
Toure in full flight was one of the sights of this, or any other season. When in the mood he is absolutely unstoppable, just make sure you've got him a nice birthday present.
£500k Player of the Year and Young Player of the Year
Daniel Sturridge (Real Muppets) - 18 goals
Sturridge had never previously hit double figures in a season but very much looked the part this year and kept Ryan in the title mix for much of the season.
Previous winners
Player of the season, Attacker of the season and Golden Boot:
Luis Suarez (The Cow-Faced Juniors) - 26 goals
After completing his ban at the start of the campaign it was a great season for the bitey Uruguayan who bagged 19 in the league and seven in the PCMT.
Golden Gloves:
Hugo Lloris (Fred West LG XI) - 15 cleans
Fred's renaissance had a few standout performers but was built on the foundations of his French 'keeper who wrests this award from Joe Hart after three years.
Defender of the Season:
Seamus Coleman (Nil Satis Nisi Optimum) - five goals, 14 cleans
After a couple of quiet seasons Coleman stepped up and contributed at both ends of the pitch. Paul's season would have looked a lot worse without him.
Midfielder of the season:
Yaya Toure (Final Fantasy XI) - 16 goals
Toure in full flight was one of the sights of this, or any other season. When in the mood he is absolutely unstoppable, just make sure you've got him a nice birthday present.
£500k Player of the Year and Young Player of the Year
Daniel Sturridge (Real Muppets) - 18 goals
Sturridge had never previously hit double figures in a season but very much looked the part this year and kept Ryan in the title mix for much of the season.
Previous winners
Sunday 25 May 2014
Player Hall of Fame
A look back at previous winners.
(Awards are made on basis of contributions in all WSFFL competitions. Where there is a tie, contributions in league matches take precedence.)
Player of the season:
2023/24 - Erling Haaland (Real Muppets) -26 goals
(Awards are made on basis of contributions in all WSFFL competitions. Where there is a tie, contributions in league matches take precedence.)
Player of the season:
2023/24 - Erling Haaland (Real Muppets) -26 goals
2022/23 - Erling Haaland (Real Muppets) -34 goals
2021/22 - Virgil van Dijk (Stanley Athletic FC) - two goals, 22 clean sheets
2020/21 - Harry Kane (Markian United) - 22 goals
2019/20 - Jamie Vardy (Wheel Madrid) - 23 goals
2018/19 - Virgil van Dijk (Athletico Phoenix) - four goals, 19 clean sheets
2017/18 - Harry Kane (Markian United) - 26 goals
2016/17 - Romelu Lukaku (San Dimas) - 24 goals
2015/16 - Sergio Aguero (Claymore Athletic) - 23 goals
2014/15 - Sergio Aguero (Claymore Athletic) - 23 goals
2013/14 - Luis Suarez (The CFJs) - 26 goals
2012/13 - Robin van Persie (Athletico Phoenix) - 26 goals
2011/12 - Robin van Persie (Athletico Phoenix) - 27 goals
2010/11 - Branislav Ivanovic (Claymore Athletic) - four goals, 16 clean sheets
2009/10 - Frank Lampard (Boston Rock) - 21 goals
2008/09 - Nemanja Vidic - (Fred West LG XI) - three goals, 19 clean sheets
2007/08 - Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Muppets) - 27 goals
Golden Boot:
2023/24 - Erling Haaland (Real Muppets) -26 goals
2018/19 - Virgil van Dijk (Athletico Phoenix) - four goals, 19 clean sheets
2017/18 - Harry Kane (Markian United) - 26 goals
2016/17 - Romelu Lukaku (San Dimas) - 24 goals
2015/16 - Sergio Aguero (Claymore Athletic) - 23 goals
2014/15 - Sergio Aguero (Claymore Athletic) - 23 goals
2013/14 - Luis Suarez (The CFJs) - 26 goals
2012/13 - Robin van Persie (Athletico Phoenix) - 26 goals
2011/12 - Robin van Persie (Athletico Phoenix) - 27 goals
2010/11 - Branislav Ivanovic (Claymore Athletic) - four goals, 16 clean sheets
2009/10 - Frank Lampard (Boston Rock) - 21 goals
2008/09 - Nemanja Vidic - (Fred West LG XI) - three goals, 19 clean sheets
2007/08 - Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Muppets) - 27 goals
Golden Boot:
2023/24 - Erling Haaland (Real Muppets) -26 goals
2022/23 - Erling Haaland (Real Muppets) -34 goals
2021/22 - Son Heung-min (Aardvark Abacus) - 18 goals
2020/21 - Harry Kane (Markian United) - 22 goals
2019/20 - Jamie Vardy (Wheel Madrid) - 23 goals
2018/19 - Sergio Aguero (Claymore Athletic) - 22 goals
2017/18 - Harry Kane (Markian United) - 26 goals
2016/17 - Romelu Lukaku (San Dimas) - 24 goals
2015/16 - Sergio Aguero (Claymore Athletic) - 23 goals
2014/15 - Sergio Aguero (Claymore Athletic) - 23 goals
2013/14 - Luis Suarez (The CFJs) - 26 goals
2012/13 - Robin van Persie (Athletico Phoenix) - 26 goals
2011/12 - Robin van Persie (Athletico Phoenix) - 27 goals
2010/11 - Carlos Tevez (Real Muppets) - 19 goals
2009/10 - Frank Lampard (Boston Rock) - 21 goals
2008/09 - Nicolas Anelka (The CFJs) - 18 goals
2007/08 - Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Muppets) - 27 goals
Golden Gloves:
2023/24 - David Raya Martin - 12 clean sheets
2018/19 - Sergio Aguero (Claymore Athletic) - 22 goals
2017/18 - Harry Kane (Markian United) - 26 goals
2016/17 - Romelu Lukaku (San Dimas) - 24 goals
2015/16 - Sergio Aguero (Claymore Athletic) - 23 goals
2014/15 - Sergio Aguero (Claymore Athletic) - 23 goals
2013/14 - Luis Suarez (The CFJs) - 26 goals
2012/13 - Robin van Persie (Athletico Phoenix) - 26 goals
2011/12 - Robin van Persie (Athletico Phoenix) - 27 goals
2010/11 - Carlos Tevez (Real Muppets) - 19 goals
2009/10 - Frank Lampard (Boston Rock) - 21 goals
2008/09 - Nicolas Anelka (The CFJs) - 18 goals
2007/08 - Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Muppets) - 27 goals
Golden Gloves:
2023/24 - David Raya Martin - 12 clean sheets
2022/23 - Nick Pope (YTFIB) - 14 clean sheets, two saved penalties
2021/22 - Alisson (Mega Buck Bandits) - 16 clean sheets
2020/21 - Ederson (Real Muppets) - 18 cleans, one saved penalty
2019/20 - Kasper Schmeichel (Claymore Athletic) - 13 cleans, 2 saved penalties
2018/19 - Ederson (Real Muppets) - 19 cleans,
2017/18 - Ederson (Real Muppets) - 14 cleans, one saved penalty
2016/17 - Thibaut Courtois (Fred West LG XI) - 13 cleans
2015/16 - Peter Cech (Aardvark Abacus) and Joe Hart (Wateringhole Society) - 13 cleans
2014/15 - Joe Hart (Dead Parrots) - 13 cleans, one saved penalty
2013/14 - Hugo Lloris (Fred West LG XI) - 15 cleans
2012/13 - Joe Hart (Dead Parrots) - 17 cleans, one saved penalty
2011/12 - Joe Hart (Dead Parrots) - 14 cleans
2010/11 - Joe Hart (Dead Parrots) - 16 cleans, one saved penalty
2009/10 - Petr Cech (Aardvark Abacus) -15 cleans
2008/09 - Edwin van der Sar (The CFJs) - 21 cleans
2007/08 - Jose Reina (Real Muppets) - 16 cleans, one saved penalty
Defender of the Season:
2023/24 - Ben White (Aardvark Abacus) - Two goals, 16 clean sheets
2018/19 - Ederson (Real Muppets) - 19 cleans,
2017/18 - Ederson (Real Muppets) - 14 cleans, one saved penalty
2016/17 - Thibaut Courtois (Fred West LG XI) - 13 cleans
2015/16 - Peter Cech (Aardvark Abacus) and Joe Hart (Wateringhole Society) - 13 cleans
2014/15 - Joe Hart (Dead Parrots) - 13 cleans, one saved penalty
2013/14 - Hugo Lloris (Fred West LG XI) - 15 cleans
2012/13 - Joe Hart (Dead Parrots) - 17 cleans, one saved penalty
2011/12 - Joe Hart (Dead Parrots) - 14 cleans
2010/11 - Joe Hart (Dead Parrots) - 16 cleans, one saved penalty
2009/10 - Petr Cech (Aardvark Abacus) -15 cleans
2008/09 - Edwin van der Sar (The CFJs) - 21 cleans
2007/08 - Jose Reina (Real Muppets) - 16 cleans, one saved penalty
Defender of the Season:
2023/24 - Ben White (Aardvark Abacus) - Two goals, 16 clean sheets
2022/23 - Ben White (Aardvark Abacus) - Two goals, 17 clean sheets
2021/22 - Virgil van Dijk (Stanley Athletic FC) - two goals, 22 clean sheets
2020/21 - Stuart Dallas (Nil Satis Nisi Optimum) - seven goals, 11 cleans
2019/20 - Virgil van Dijk (Stanley Athletic) - 5 goals, 13 clean sheets
2018/19 - Virgil van Dijk (Athletico Phoenix) - 4 goals, 19 clean sheets
2017/18 - Marcos Alonso (Nil Satis Nisi Optimum) - five goals, 17 cleans
2016/17 - Gary Cahill (Trusted By Millions) - four goals, 16 cleans
2015/16 - Wes Morgan (Mega Buck Bandits) - two goals, 13 cleans
2014/15 - Branislav Ivanovic (Claymore Athletic) - three goals, 15 cleans
2013/14 - Seamus Coleman (Nil Satis Nisi Optimum) - five goals, 14 cleans
2012/13 - Per Mertersacker (Athletico Phoenix) - 3 goals, 13 cleans
2011/12 - Gareth Bale (The CFJs) - six goals, 14 cleans
2010/11 - Branislav Ivanovic (Claymore Athletic) - four goals, 16 cleans
2009/10 - John Terry (Boston Rock) - two goals, 19 cleans
2008/09 - Nemanja Vidic (Fred West LG XI) - three goals, 19 cleans
2007/08 - Rio Ferdinand (Boston Rock) - two goals, 22 cleans
Midfielder of the Season:
2023/24 - Phil Foden (Real Muppets) - 20 goals
2018/19 - Virgil van Dijk (Athletico Phoenix) - 4 goals, 19 clean sheets
2017/18 - Marcos Alonso (Nil Satis Nisi Optimum) - five goals, 17 cleans
2016/17 - Gary Cahill (Trusted By Millions) - four goals, 16 cleans
2015/16 - Wes Morgan (Mega Buck Bandits) - two goals, 13 cleans
2014/15 - Branislav Ivanovic (Claymore Athletic) - three goals, 15 cleans
2013/14 - Seamus Coleman (Nil Satis Nisi Optimum) - five goals, 14 cleans
2012/13 - Per Mertersacker (Athletico Phoenix) - 3 goals, 13 cleans
2011/12 - Gareth Bale (The CFJs) - six goals, 14 cleans
2010/11 - Branislav Ivanovic (Claymore Athletic) - four goals, 16 cleans
2009/10 - John Terry (Boston Rock) - two goals, 19 cleans
2008/09 - Nemanja Vidic (Fred West LG XI) - three goals, 19 cleans
2007/08 - Rio Ferdinand (Boston Rock) - two goals, 22 cleans
Midfielder of the Season:
2023/24 - Phil Foden (Real Muppets) - 20 goals
2022/23 - Martin Odegaard (The Fabulous Artisans) - 14 goals
2021/22 - James Ward-Prowse (Stanley Athletic FC) - 14 goals
2020/21 - Bruno Fernandes (Fred West LG XI) - 16 goals
2019/20 - Raheem Sterling (Real Muppets) - 17 goals
2018/19 - Raheem Sterling (Real Muppets) - 18 goals
2017/18 - Raheem Sterling (Real Muppets) - 14 goals
2016/17 - Eden Hazard (Fred West LG XI) - 18 goals
2015/16 - Riyad Mahrez (Athletico Phoenix) - 17 goals
2014/15 - Eden Hazard (Fred West LG XI) - 12 goals
2013/14 - Yaya Toure (Final Fantasy XI) - 16 goals
2012/13 - Gareth Bale (The CFJs) - 22 goals
2011/12 - Clint Dempsey (The CFJs) - 18 goals
2010/11 - Rafael van der Vaart (Fred West LG XI) - 12 goals
2009/10 - Frank Lampard (Boston Rock) - 21 goals
2008/09 - Steven Gerrard (Trusted By Millions) - 15 goals
2007/08 - Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Muppets) - 27 goals
Attacker of the Season:
2023/24 - Erling Haaland (Real Muppets) -26 goals
2018/19 - Raheem Sterling (Real Muppets) - 18 goals
2017/18 - Raheem Sterling (Real Muppets) - 14 goals
2016/17 - Eden Hazard (Fred West LG XI) - 18 goals
2015/16 - Riyad Mahrez (Athletico Phoenix) - 17 goals
2014/15 - Eden Hazard (Fred West LG XI) - 12 goals
2013/14 - Yaya Toure (Final Fantasy XI) - 16 goals
2012/13 - Gareth Bale (The CFJs) - 22 goals
2011/12 - Clint Dempsey (The CFJs) - 18 goals
2010/11 - Rafael van der Vaart (Fred West LG XI) - 12 goals
2009/10 - Frank Lampard (Boston Rock) - 21 goals
2008/09 - Steven Gerrard (Trusted By Millions) - 15 goals
2007/08 - Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Muppets) - 27 goals
Attacker of the Season:
2023/24 - Erling Haaland (Real Muppets) -26 goals
2022/23 - Erling Haaland (Real Muppets) -34 goals
2021/22 - Son Heung-min (Aardvark Abacus) - 18 goals
2020/21 - Harry Kane (Markian United) - 22 goals
2019/20 - Jamie Vardy (Wheel Madrid) - 23 goals
2018/19 - Sergio Aguero (Claymore Athletic) - 22 goals
2017/18 - Harry Kane (Markian United) - 26 goals
2016/17 - Romelu Lukaku (San Dimas) - 24 goals
2015/16 - Sergio Aguero (Claymore Athletic) - 23 goals
2014/15 - Sergio Aguero (Claymore Athletic) - 23 goals
2013/14 - Luis Suarez (The CFJs) - 26 goals
2012/13 - Robin van Persie (Athletico Phoenix) - 26 goals
2011/12 - Robin van Persie (Athletico Phoenix) - 27 goals
2010/11 - Carlos Tevez (Real Muppets) - 19 goals
2009/10 - Carlos Tevez (Real Muppets) - 20 goals
2008/09 - Nicolas Anelka (The CFJs) - 18 goals
2007/08 - Fernando Torres (Trusted By Millions) - 17 goals
Young Player of the Season (21 or under at the start of 2023/24 - 23 or under before that):
2023/24 - Cole Palmer - 19 goals
2018/19 - Sergio Aguero (Claymore Athletic) - 22 goals
2017/18 - Harry Kane (Markian United) - 26 goals
2016/17 - Romelu Lukaku (San Dimas) - 24 goals
2015/16 - Sergio Aguero (Claymore Athletic) - 23 goals
2014/15 - Sergio Aguero (Claymore Athletic) - 23 goals
2013/14 - Luis Suarez (The CFJs) - 26 goals
2012/13 - Robin van Persie (Athletico Phoenix) - 26 goals
2011/12 - Robin van Persie (Athletico Phoenix) - 27 goals
2010/11 - Carlos Tevez (Real Muppets) - 19 goals
2009/10 - Carlos Tevez (Real Muppets) - 20 goals
2008/09 - Nicolas Anelka (The CFJs) - 18 goals
2007/08 - Fernando Torres (Trusted By Millions) - 17 goals
Young Player of the Season (21 or under at the start of 2023/24 - 23 or under before that):
2023/24 - Cole Palmer - 19 goals
2022/23 - Erling Haaland (Real Muppets) -34 goals
2021/22 - Gabriel (The CFJs) - five goals, 12 clean sheets
2020/21 - Ruben Dias (The Wateringhole Society) - one goal, 16 cleans
2019/20 - Anthony Martial (Stanley Athletic) - 14 goals
2018/19 - Raheem Sterling (Real Muppets) - 18 goals
2017/18 - Harry Kane (Markian United) - 26 goals
2016/17 - Romelu Lukaku (San Dimas) - 24 goals
2015/16 - Harry Kane (FCK2) - 20 goals
2014/15 - Harry Kane (FCK2) - 14 goals
2013/14 - Daniel Sturridge (Real Muppets) - 18 goals
2012/13 - Gareth Bale (The CFJs) - 22 goals
2011/12 - Sergio Aguero (Claymore Athletic) - 21 goals
2010/11 - Joe Hart (Dead Parrots) - 16 cleans, one saved penalty
2009/10 - Thomas Vermaelen (Real Muppets) - six goals, ten cleans
2008/09 - Gael Clichy (Claymore) and Vedran Corluka (CFJs) - both one goal, 14 cleans
2007/08 - Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Muppets) - 27 goals
£500k Player of the season:
2023/24 - Phil Foden (Real Muppets) - 20 goals
2018/19 - Raheem Sterling (Real Muppets) - 18 goals
2017/18 - Harry Kane (Markian United) - 26 goals
2016/17 - Romelu Lukaku (San Dimas) - 24 goals
2015/16 - Harry Kane (FCK2) - 20 goals
2014/15 - Harry Kane (FCK2) - 14 goals
2013/14 - Daniel Sturridge (Real Muppets) - 18 goals
2012/13 - Gareth Bale (The CFJs) - 22 goals
2011/12 - Sergio Aguero (Claymore Athletic) - 21 goals
2010/11 - Joe Hart (Dead Parrots) - 16 cleans, one saved penalty
2009/10 - Thomas Vermaelen (Real Muppets) - six goals, ten cleans
2008/09 - Gael Clichy (Claymore) and Vedran Corluka (CFJs) - both one goal, 14 cleans
2007/08 - Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Muppets) - 27 goals
£500k Player of the season:
2023/24 - Phil Foden (Real Muppets) - 20 goals
2022/23 - Harry Kane (Markian United) - 31 goals
2021/22 - Trent Alexander-Arnold - one goal, 15 clean sheets
2020/21 - Harry Kane (Markian United) - 22 goals
2019/20 - Raheem Sterling (Real Muppets) - 17 goals
2018/19 - Raheem Sterling (Real Muppets) - 18 goals
2017/18 - Harry Kane (Markian United) - 26 goals
2016/17 - Harry Kane (FCK2) - 22 goals
2015/16 - Harry Kane (FCK2) - 20 goals
2014/15 - Gary Cahill (Trusted By Millions) - one goal, 14 cleans
2013/14 - Daniel Sturridge (Real Muppets) - 18 goals
2012/13 - Gareth Bale (The CFJs) - 22 goals
2011/12 - Wayne Rooney (Claymore Athletic) - 26 goals
2010/11 - Joe Hart (Dead Parrots) - 16 cleans, one saved penalty
2009/10 - Richard Dunne (Fabulous Artisans) - three goals, 14 cleans
2008/09 - John Terry (San Dimas) - one goal, 15 cleans
2007/08 - Ashley Cole (Real Muppets) - two goals, 15 cleans
Signing of the Season:
2023/24 - Cole Palmer - 19 goals
2018/19 - Raheem Sterling (Real Muppets) - 18 goals
2017/18 - Harry Kane (Markian United) - 26 goals
2016/17 - Harry Kane (FCK2) - 22 goals
2015/16 - Harry Kane (FCK2) - 20 goals
2014/15 - Gary Cahill (Trusted By Millions) - one goal, 14 cleans
2013/14 - Daniel Sturridge (Real Muppets) - 18 goals
2012/13 - Gareth Bale (The CFJs) - 22 goals
2011/12 - Wayne Rooney (Claymore Athletic) - 26 goals
2010/11 - Joe Hart (Dead Parrots) - 16 cleans, one saved penalty
2009/10 - Richard Dunne (Fabulous Artisans) - three goals, 14 cleans
2008/09 - John Terry (San Dimas) - one goal, 15 cleans
2007/08 - Ashley Cole (Real Muppets) - two goals, 15 cleans
Signing of the Season:
2023/24 - Cole Palmer - 19 goals
2022/23 - Erling Haaland (Real Muppets) -34 goals
2021/22 - Cristiano Ronaldo (Claymore Athletic) - 17 goals
2020/21 - Stuart Dallas (Nil Satis Nisi Optimum) - seven goals, 11 cleans
2019/20 - Danny Ings (Cheese Makers) - 19 goals
2018/19 - Alisson (Mega Buck Bandits) - 18 cleans
2017/18 - Mo Salah (Fred West LG XI) - 23 goals
2018/19 - Alisson (Mega Buck Bandits) - 18 cleans
2017/18 - Mo Salah (Fred West LG XI) - 23 goals
Saturday 24 May 2014
Co-Ord Round-up Part Five - The 'counters' table
At some point this season 'contributions' were re-named counters. Here's the table if that was all that mattered in the game. Don't worry it won't be. (Well, not on my watch!)
1. Claymore Athletic FC - 109 (one place higher than real table, one more counter than last season)
1. The Fabulous Artisans - 109 (eight places higher, 33 more)
3. Trusted By Millions - 104 (two places lower, seven more)
3. The Cow-Faced Juniors - 104 (one place lower, 11 fewer)
5. Fred West LG XI - 97 (three places higher, 43 more)
6 Aardvark Abacus - 89 (two places lower, five fewer)
6. San Dimas High School - 89 (one place higher, one fewer)
8. Real Muppets - 88 (three places lower, four more)
9. Cheese Makers - 85 (two places lower, 19 more)
10. FCK2 - 75 (one place higher, 18 fewer)
10. Athletico Phoenix - 75 (three places higher, 32 fewer)
12. Final Fantasy XI - 70 (two places lower, four fewer)
12. Nil Satis Nisi Optimum - 70 (three places higher, 15 more)
14. Mega Buck Bandits - 69 (two places lower, three more)
15. The Dead Parrots - 66 (one place lower, one more)
16. YTFIB - 52 (same place, same total!)
What can we learn from the above? Ben was terribly unlucky, Fred is on the way back and Paul and Matthew's teams stepped up.
Chris, Kevin and all underperformed on the previous season.
1. Claymore Athletic FC - 109 (one place higher than real table, one more counter than last season)
1. The Fabulous Artisans - 109 (eight places higher, 33 more)
3. Trusted By Millions - 104 (two places lower, seven more)
3. The Cow-Faced Juniors - 104 (one place lower, 11 fewer)
5. Fred West LG XI - 97 (three places higher, 43 more)
6 Aardvark Abacus - 89 (two places lower, five fewer)
6. San Dimas High School - 89 (one place higher, one fewer)
8. Real Muppets - 88 (three places lower, four more)
9. Cheese Makers - 85 (two places lower, 19 more)
10. FCK2 - 75 (one place higher, 18 fewer)
10. Athletico Phoenix - 75 (three places higher, 32 fewer)
12. Final Fantasy XI - 70 (two places lower, four fewer)
12. Nil Satis Nisi Optimum - 70 (three places higher, 15 more)
14. Mega Buck Bandits - 69 (two places lower, three more)
15. The Dead Parrots - 66 (one place lower, one more)
16. YTFIB - 52 (same place, same total!)
What can we learn from the above? Ben was terribly unlucky, Fred is on the way back and Paul and Matthew's teams stepped up.
Chris, Kevin and all underperformed on the previous season.
Co-Ord Round-up Part Four - 1st-4th
1st Trusted By Millions (up six places on last season)
When all around were losing their heads Beef kept his and was consistent at the right time to take his first title for 13 seasons. He only topped the table for five weeks but they were the last five. Trusted had lifted the Charity Shield in the first part of the season but were seven points behind with eight games to go. Seven of those games were won and the title was taken with a little to spare. With no outstanding player the load was shared and that might have been the difference between Beef and his rivals.
Star Players: Gary Cahill (one goal, 13 cleans) and Steven Gerrard (14 goals)
What if: They'd turned up in the Cup Final?
2nd Claymore Athletic FC (same)
A second title in three seasons seemed to be within Clive's reach with eight games left but with injuries to Wayne Rooney and Sergio Aguero playing a part those matches only yielded 11 points and Claymore let in Trusted. Defeat in the Charity Shield final to Beef's team means there will be some runners-up silverware in the groaning Claymore trophy cabinet but this will go down as a season of missed opportunities for Clive.
Star Player: Olivier Giroud (16 goals)
What if: Aguero and Rooney had stayed fit?
3rd The Cow-Faced Juniors (down two)
Chris's title defence got off to a sluggish start with Luis Suarez suspended but he was top at the midway point and had successfully retained the PCMT. That was followed by a run of just two wins in ten games and left too the CFJs far adrift for their late rally to have any impact. New £20m+ signings Mesut Ozil and Willian didn't really fire while Michu, who'd helped Chris to the top last year, spent most of the season on the treatment table.
Star Player: Luis Suarez (26 goals)
What if: Gareth Bale had stayed? ((c) Tim Sherwood)
4th Aardvark Abacus (same)
The Aardvarks were another team who topped the league in its early weeks only to fall away. Ady's dreadful run of four points out of 24 between October and December did for his challenge and a possible recovery was halted by six without a win in February and March. The restored Emmanuel Adebayor was the only real firepower in the team with Steven Jovetic hardly seeing action. The solid defensive base led by Vincent Kompany needs supporting with a cutting edge if Ady is to get back among the trophies next season.
Star Player: Wojcech Szczesny (11 cleans)
What if: Ady had a strike force to match his defence?
When all around were losing their heads Beef kept his and was consistent at the right time to take his first title for 13 seasons. He only topped the table for five weeks but they were the last five. Trusted had lifted the Charity Shield in the first part of the season but were seven points behind with eight games to go. Seven of those games were won and the title was taken with a little to spare. With no outstanding player the load was shared and that might have been the difference between Beef and his rivals.
Star Players: Gary Cahill (one goal, 13 cleans) and Steven Gerrard (14 goals)
What if: They'd turned up in the Cup Final?
2nd Claymore Athletic FC (same)
A second title in three seasons seemed to be within Clive's reach with eight games left but with injuries to Wayne Rooney and Sergio Aguero playing a part those matches only yielded 11 points and Claymore let in Trusted. Defeat in the Charity Shield final to Beef's team means there will be some runners-up silverware in the groaning Claymore trophy cabinet but this will go down as a season of missed opportunities for Clive.
Star Player: Olivier Giroud (16 goals)
What if: Aguero and Rooney had stayed fit?
3rd The Cow-Faced Juniors (down two)
Chris's title defence got off to a sluggish start with Luis Suarez suspended but he was top at the midway point and had successfully retained the PCMT. That was followed by a run of just two wins in ten games and left too the CFJs far adrift for their late rally to have any impact. New £20m+ signings Mesut Ozil and Willian didn't really fire while Michu, who'd helped Chris to the top last year, spent most of the season on the treatment table.
Star Player: Luis Suarez (26 goals)
What if: Gareth Bale had stayed? ((c) Tim Sherwood)
4th Aardvark Abacus (same)
The Aardvarks were another team who topped the league in its early weeks only to fall away. Ady's dreadful run of four points out of 24 between October and December did for his challenge and a possible recovery was halted by six without a win in February and March. The restored Emmanuel Adebayor was the only real firepower in the team with Steven Jovetic hardly seeing action. The solid defensive base led by Vincent Kompany needs supporting with a cutting edge if Ady is to get back among the trophies next season.
Star Player: Wojcech Szczesny (11 cleans)
What if: Ady had a strike force to match his defence?
Tuesday 20 May 2014
Co-Ord Round-up Part Three - 5th-8th
5th Real Muppets (up one place on last season)
Fifth place doesn't really do justice to Ryan's team as it was the lowest place they occupied all season. Indeed it might be one that got away for the Muppets as they collapsed with only eight points of the last 27 on offer. Danny Sturridge's injury didn't help but maybe the manager could alter his team a little more often.
Star Players: Laurent Koscielny (two goals, 16 cleans) and Danny Sturridge (18 goals)
What if: Sturridge had stayed healthy?
6th San Dimas High School (up three)
For a while my team seemed possible dark horses in the title race before falling away in the new year. Romelu Lukaku and Dejan Lovren had been scoring and stopping and I didn't have the squad depth to make up for their absences. Still, this was another season of progress and my highest points total for six seasons.
Star Players: Romelu Lukaku (14 goals), Dejan Lovren (two goals, 12 cleans)
What if: I'd splashed some of the San Dimas cash?
7th Cheese Makers (up seven)
A big improvement, a points record and a first top half finish for Matthew. All in all a decent season. The Cheesers big players Juan Mata and Shane Long took a while to get going and relied on a tough defence for much of their early success. It's possible this team needs another striker before they can kick on but don't rule it out.
Star Player: Jose Fonte (two goals, 13 cleans)
What if: Matthew had taken the £27m on offer for Marouane Fellaini?
8th Fred West Landscape Gardening XI (up seven)
This team are now on the way back. Bottom of the table after six weeks the 2010/11 champions had fallen as far as they could go. And then they bounced. The manager has done well offloading unwanted players (Welbeck, Vidic, Evra) for good money and his £71m spending spree is beginning to pay dividends. The league has been warned.
Star Players: Wilfried Bony (15 goals) and Hugo Lloris (15 cleans)
What if: Fernando Torres remembered how to be a footballer?
Fifth place doesn't really do justice to Ryan's team as it was the lowest place they occupied all season. Indeed it might be one that got away for the Muppets as they collapsed with only eight points of the last 27 on offer. Danny Sturridge's injury didn't help but maybe the manager could alter his team a little more often.
Star Players: Laurent Koscielny (two goals, 16 cleans) and Danny Sturridge (18 goals)
What if: Sturridge had stayed healthy?
6th San Dimas High School (up three)
For a while my team seemed possible dark horses in the title race before falling away in the new year. Romelu Lukaku and Dejan Lovren had been scoring and stopping and I didn't have the squad depth to make up for their absences. Still, this was another season of progress and my highest points total for six seasons.
Star Players: Romelu Lukaku (14 goals), Dejan Lovren (two goals, 12 cleans)
What if: I'd splashed some of the San Dimas cash?
7th Cheese Makers (up seven)
A big improvement, a points record and a first top half finish for Matthew. All in all a decent season. The Cheesers big players Juan Mata and Shane Long took a while to get going and relied on a tough defence for much of their early success. It's possible this team needs another striker before they can kick on but don't rule it out.
Star Player: Jose Fonte (two goals, 13 cleans)
What if: Matthew had taken the £27m on offer for Marouane Fellaini?
8th Fred West Landscape Gardening XI (up seven)
This team are now on the way back. Bottom of the table after six weeks the 2010/11 champions had fallen as far as they could go. And then they bounced. The manager has done well offloading unwanted players (Welbeck, Vidic, Evra) for good money and his £71m spending spree is beginning to pay dividends. The league has been warned.
Star Players: Wilfried Bony (15 goals) and Hugo Lloris (15 cleans)
What if: Fernando Torres remembered how to be a footballer?
Monday 19 May 2014
Co-Ord Round-up Part Two - 9th-12th
9th The Fabulous Artisans (down one place on last season)
Two words: Terribly unlucky. How could a team get well over 100 counters yet finish in the bottom half? Ben managed it. His strikers Loic Remy and Alvaro Negredo got goals and his defenders kept plenty of cleans. Despite all that only managed to win four of his last 24 in all competitions. Quite extraordinary.
Star Player: Martin Skrtel (seven goals, seven cleans)
What if: The fixture list had been kinder.
10th Final Fantasy XI (down five)
After a fantastic fifth place finish last season Ceri's team were unable to make further league progress. However, the FA Cup will sit proudly in the 'Robins' trophy cabinet after an excellent 3-0 win over Champions Trusted in the Final. Yaya Toure was the star while Damien Delaney was an excellent new signing in defence.
Star Player: Yaya Toure (16 goals)
What if: Dani Osvaldo and Ricky van Wolfswinkel had been any good?
11th FCK2 (down one)
A bright start for new manager Kevin saw him top the league early on but that proved a false dawn and he slipped back into the mid-table battle and never recovered. Unable to bring in new players he relied on old stagers for his 'counters'. Luke Shaw a notable exception but Steven Caulker was unable to fill the star player's boots this term.
Star Player: John Terry (three goals, 12 cleans)
What if: The manager could have got along to the auctions?
12th Mega Buck Bandits (same)
Same place as last season for Dave and two first round cup exits. A year of treading water for the Bandits. Money was spent on Aly Cissokho and Grant Holt with little return. Curtis Davies proved a good addition but Wilfrid Zaha made no impression. Lots of work ahead if this team is to fight its way back into the top half any time soon.
Star Player: Guy Demel (one goal, 13 cleans)
What if: Dave could find a striker of any note?
Two words: Terribly unlucky. How could a team get well over 100 counters yet finish in the bottom half? Ben managed it. His strikers Loic Remy and Alvaro Negredo got goals and his defenders kept plenty of cleans. Despite all that only managed to win four of his last 24 in all competitions. Quite extraordinary.
Star Player: Martin Skrtel (seven goals, seven cleans)
What if: The fixture list had been kinder.
10th Final Fantasy XI (down five)
After a fantastic fifth place finish last season Ceri's team were unable to make further league progress. However, the FA Cup will sit proudly in the 'Robins' trophy cabinet after an excellent 3-0 win over Champions Trusted in the Final. Yaya Toure was the star while Damien Delaney was an excellent new signing in defence.
Star Player: Yaya Toure (16 goals)
What if: Dani Osvaldo and Ricky van Wolfswinkel had been any good?
11th FCK2 (down one)
A bright start for new manager Kevin saw him top the league early on but that proved a false dawn and he slipped back into the mid-table battle and never recovered. Unable to bring in new players he relied on old stagers for his 'counters'. Luke Shaw a notable exception but Steven Caulker was unable to fill the star player's boots this term.
Star Player: John Terry (three goals, 12 cleans)
What if: The manager could have got along to the auctions?
12th Mega Buck Bandits (same)
Same place as last season for Dave and two first round cup exits. A year of treading water for the Bandits. Money was spent on Aly Cissokho and Grant Holt with little return. Curtis Davies proved a good addition but Wilfrid Zaha made no impression. Lots of work ahead if this team is to fight its way back into the top half any time soon.
Star Player: Guy Demel (one goal, 13 cleans)
What if: Dave could find a striker of any note?
Sunday 18 May 2014
Co-Ord Round-up Part One - 13th-16th
13th Athletico Phoenix (down ten places on last season)
Brian's defence performed well enough but when Robin van Persie was sidelined his team were short of a goal threat. A run to the PCMT Final was a highlight but they failed to make an impression in defeat to the CFJs. The second half of the season saw just one win in ten games but you'd back them to improve next time.
Star Player: Per Mertersacker (two goals, 15 cleans)
What if: Van Persie had stayed fit?
14th The Dead Parrots (down three)
A season of struggle spent entirely in the bottom three had Dean reviewing his position but a late revival saw him avoid bottom spot and sign up for another year. Rickie Lambert and Joe Hart are the key men in this team and Dean needs to cast the net wide if he's to find players to support those two of the calibre they deserve.
Star Player: Rickie Lambert (12 goals)
What if: Australian time was the same as the UK?
15th Nil Satis Nisi Optimum (up one)
One place higher and ten points more sounds like an improvement but Paul avoided last place for the third time in four seasons only on goal difference. Aaron Ramsey lit things up in the early part of the season and Seamus Coleman was a key man throughout the campaign but few signings and fewer team changes ultimately found them floundering.
Star Player: Seamus Coleman (six goals, 13 cleans)
What if: The manager was more hands on?
16th YTFIB (down three)
Julian's team seemingly taking it turns with Nil Satis to prop up the league and lost out on goal difference this time. Lat season's star player Joey O'Brien couldn't back that performance up, Peter Crouch isn't the threat he was and Johan Elmander flopped. Dwight Gayle's late goal surge gives some hope for next season and there's always Samir Nasri.
Star Player: Samir Nasri (seven goals)
What if: An oligarch could fly into York with an open chequebook?
Brian's defence performed well enough but when Robin van Persie was sidelined his team were short of a goal threat. A run to the PCMT Final was a highlight but they failed to make an impression in defeat to the CFJs. The second half of the season saw just one win in ten games but you'd back them to improve next time.
Star Player: Per Mertersacker (two goals, 15 cleans)
What if: Van Persie had stayed fit?
14th The Dead Parrots (down three)
A season of struggle spent entirely in the bottom three had Dean reviewing his position but a late revival saw him avoid bottom spot and sign up for another year. Rickie Lambert and Joe Hart are the key men in this team and Dean needs to cast the net wide if he's to find players to support those two of the calibre they deserve.
Star Player: Rickie Lambert (12 goals)
What if: Australian time was the same as the UK?
15th Nil Satis Nisi Optimum (up one)
One place higher and ten points more sounds like an improvement but Paul avoided last place for the third time in four seasons only on goal difference. Aaron Ramsey lit things up in the early part of the season and Seamus Coleman was a key man throughout the campaign but few signings and fewer team changes ultimately found them floundering.
Star Player: Seamus Coleman (six goals, 13 cleans)
What if: The manager was more hands on?
16th YTFIB (down three)
Julian's team seemingly taking it turns with Nil Satis to prop up the league and lost out on goal difference this time. Lat season's star player Joey O'Brien couldn't back that performance up, Peter Crouch isn't the threat he was and Johan Elmander flopped. Dwight Gayle's late goal surge gives some hope for next season and there's always Samir Nasri.
Star Player: Samir Nasri (seven goals)
What if: An oligarch could fly into York with an open chequebook?
Sunday 11 May 2014
Week 30 Results and final table
Congratulations to Trusted By Millions who are the 2013/14 WSFFL Champions.
Athletico Phoenix 0 v 1 San Dimas High School
Claymore Athletic FC 1 v 3 YTFIB
FCK2 1 v 6 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Final Fantasy XI 0 v 8 Aardvark Abacus
Mega Buck Bandits 0 v 1 Trusted By Millions
The Cow-Faced Juniors 0 v 0 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
The Dead Parrots 1 v 1 Cheese Makers
The Fabulous Artisans 2 v 3 Real Muppets
Athletico Phoenix 0 v 1 San Dimas High School
Claymore Athletic FC 1 v 3 YTFIB
FCK2 1 v 6 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Final Fantasy XI 0 v 8 Aardvark Abacus
Mega Buck Bandits 0 v 1 Trusted By Millions
The Cow-Faced Juniors 0 v 0 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
The Dead Parrots 1 v 1 Cheese Makers
The Fabulous Artisans 2 v 3 Real Muppets
| Team | P | W | D | L | F | A | Diff | Pts | |
| 1 | Trusted By Millions | 30 | 18 | 5 | 7 | 66 | 41 | 25 | 59 |
| 2 | Claymore Athletic FC | 30 | 17 | 4 | 9 | 75 | 57 | 18 | 55 |
| 3 | The Cow-Faced Juniors | 30 | 16 | 5 | 9 | 74 | 48 | 26 | 53 |
| 4 | Aardvark Abacus | 30 | 14 | 7 | 9 | 52 | 48 | 3 | 49 |
| 5 | Real Muppets | 30 | 14 | 6 | 10 | 59 | 51 | 8 | 48 |
| 6 | San Dimas High School | 30 | 13 | 8 | 9 | 58 | 51 | 7 | 47 |
| 7 | Cheese Makers | 30 | 12 | 7 | 11 | 62 | 52 | 10 | 43 |
| 8 | Fred West Landscape Gardening XI | 30 | 12 | 6 | 12 | 70 | 64 | 6 | 42 |
| 9 | The Fabulous Artisans | 30 | 10 | 9 | 11 | 73 | 64 | 9 | 39 |
| 10 | Final Fantasy XI | 30 | 10 | 9 | 11 | 45 | 52 | -6 | 39 |
| 11 | FCK2 | 30 | 8 | 10 | 12 | 49 | 59 | -10 | 34 |
| 12 | Mega Buck Bandits | 30 | 9 | 7 | 14 | 43 | 56 | -13 | 34 |
| 13 | Athletico Phoenix | 30 | 9 | 6 | 15 | 40 | 65 | -25 | 33 |
| 14 | The Dead Parrots | 30 | 8 | 7 | 15 | 37 | 50 | -13 | 31 |
| 15 | Nil Satis Nisi Optimum | 30 | 8 | 6 | 16 | 43 | 59 | -16 | 30 |
| 16 | YTFIB | 30 | 8 | 6 | 16 | 35 | 64 | -29 | 30 |
In the end we didn't need an Aguerooooooh! moment to decide the title this time. By the time Stephane Sessegnon fired Trusted in front at Mega Bucks Clive was already two behind and we were just about done and dusted.
Beef turned down a £6m bid for Sessegnon in the summer and though the midfielder hasn't had his best campaign he'll be remembered for steering in the winner on the last day. Clive needed a win to stand a chance of pipping Trusted but slipped to a surprise defeat at home to YTFIB. Dwight Gayle got a brace for Julian (if Gayle keeps coring at this rate - four in 115 minutes - then he'll get 118 next season and would most likely give Julian the title) and Samir Nasri struck home a long ranger before Clive replied with a Tim Howard clean.
Despite that win Julian's team prop the league up this season. Nil Satis and the CFJs played out a lame goalless draw which sees Paul grab 15th on goal difference. At the other end of the scoring scale the Aardvarks stay fourth after walloping Final Fantasy 7-0. Ceri's team didn't help their cause by going two down to own goals through Nathan Baker and Gareth McAuley. Emanuel Adebayor added a spot-kick before the break and Vincent Kompany slammed home from close range before the cleans racked up for Ady.
The Muppets have had a poor run-in but finished with a win. There was an own goal here too, from the Artisans' Martin Skrtel, to set Ryan on his way before Daniel Agger and Daniel Sturridge scored almost identical set-piece goals in the space of three second-half minutes to put the game beyond Ben and consign him to the bottom half. My team finish sixth after a last day win at the Phoenix. The only goal came from Romelu Lukaku straight after the re-start. Brian's season petered out through lack of goals. That's his third 1-0 reverse in four games.
Cheese Makers held on to seventh with a point against the Parrots. Rickie Lambert eased Nemanja Vidic off the ball and rifled in on 28 minutes for Dean but a brilliant pitching wedge of a free-kick from Juan Mata drew Matthew level. FCK2 took the lead against Fred on seven minutes through Nathan Dyer's clever control and dinked finish but then folded like a cheap deckchair and conceded six. Paulinho levelled soon after the opener then Wilfried Bony, Andre Schurrle and even Fernando Torres added goals after the break. Fred rounds out the top half and must fancy his chances of having a run next season.
Monday 5 May 2014
Week 29 Results
Wins for the top two mean the title race will go to the last week.
Aardvark Abacus 1 v 0 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Cheese Makers 1 v 4 Trusted By Millions
Claymore Athletic FC 5 v 1 Athletico Phoenix
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 0 v 4 The Cow-Faced Juniors
Real Muppets 1 v 3 Mega Buck Bandits
San Dimas High School 2 v 2 Final Fantasy XI
The Dead Parrots 2 v 1 The Fabulous Artisans
YTFIB 2 v 2 FCK2
Aardvark Abacus 1 v 0 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Cheese Makers 1 v 4 Trusted By Millions
Claymore Athletic FC 5 v 1 Athletico Phoenix
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 0 v 4 The Cow-Faced Juniors
Real Muppets 1 v 3 Mega Buck Bandits
San Dimas High School 2 v 2 Final Fantasy XI
The Dead Parrots 2 v 1 The Fabulous Artisans
YTFIB 2 v 2 FCK2
| Team | P | W | D | L | F | A | Diff | Pts | |
| 1 | Trusted By Millions | 29 | 17 | 5 | 7 | 65 | 41 | 24 | 56 |
| 2 | Claymore Athletic FC | 29 | 17 | 4 | 8 | 74 | 54 | 20 | 55 |
| 3 | The Cow-Faced Juniors | 29 | 16 | 4 | 9 | 74 | 48 | 26 | 52 |
| 4 | Aardvark Abacus | 29 | 13 | 7 | 9 | 44 | 48 | -4 | 46 |
| 5 | Real Muppets | 29 | 13 | 6 | 10 | 56 | 49 | 7 | 45 |
| 6 | San Dimas High School | 29 | 12 | 8 | 9 | 57 | 51 | 6 | 44 |
| 7 | Cheese Makers | 29 | 12 | 6 | 11 | 61 | 51 | 10 | 42 |
| 8 | The Fabulous Artisans | 29 | 10 | 9 | 10 | 71 | 61 | 10 | 39 |
| 9 | Fred West Landscape Gardening XI | 29 | 11 | 6 | 12 | 64 | 63 | 1 | 39 |
| 10 | Final Fantasy XI | 29 | 10 | 9 | 10 | 45 | 44 | 1 | 39 |
| 11 | FCK2 | 29 | 8 | 10 | 11 | 48 | 53 | -5 | 34 |
| 12 | Mega Buck Bandits | 29 | 9 | 7 | 13 | 43 | 55 | -12 | 34 |
| 13 | Athletico Phoenix | 29 | 9 | 6 | 14 | 40 | 64 | -24 | 33 |
| 14 | The Dead Parrots | 29 | 8 | 6 | 15 | 36 | 49 | -13 | 30 |
| 15 | Nil Satis Nisi Optimum | 29 | 8 | 5 | 16 | 43 | 59 | -16 | 29 |
| 16 | YTFIB | 29 | 7 | 6 | 16 | 32 | 63 | -31 | 27 |
The top two win but it's Beef that's singing The Lion Sleeps Tonight as he's a win away, a win away. (Sorry!)
A spectacular four goal burst either side of the break saw Trusted hold on to their advantage by beating Cheese Makers. Andi Weimann opened his account for the season with two headers before the break and Edin Dzeko got one either side of the interval to put his side four up. Matthew replied through Oussama Assaidi but couldn't dent Beef's title hopes. Claymore are in position to capitalise if Beef slips up after beating Athletico 5-1. A stunning strike from Ross Barkley opened the scoring for Clive on 11 minutes and Olivier Giroud doubled the advantage three minutes later. Sergio Aguero added another before Brian replied through Stewart Downing's free-kick before the break. Marko Arnautovic extinguished any hopes of a Phoenix revival and a David Luiz clean completed the win.
The CFJs had a comprehensive win over Fred but are now out of the race. Peter Odemwingie scored from very close in six minutes before the break and Luis Suarez added a second ten minutes into the second period. Two cleans landed Fred with one of his biggest defeats of the season. The Aardvarks are up to fourth thanks to Joe Allen's header which was the only goal in the game against struggling Nil Satis.
Ryan's meek end to the season continued with defeat to Mega Bucks. Daniel Sturridge's deflected shot gave the Muppets the lead but Russel Martin, Guy Demel and Dwight Tiendalli got the cleans that handed the points to the Bandits. San Dimas and Final Fantasy shared the points with a 2-2 draw. Man of the moment Connor Wickham teed up Seb Larsson to open the scoring for Ceri, Romelu Lukaku replied for me. Damien Delaney's long-ranger looked to have won the game for the Fantasy but Dejan Lovren's clean earned me a point and assures me of a top half finish. Which is nice.
Final Fantasy, Fred, Cheese Makers and the Artisans are scrapping for the last two places in the top half. Matthew is almost assured of one but Ben missed a chance to claim a place when losing to the Parrots. A first goal in I don't know how long from Shola Ameobi gave Dean the lead until three minutes from time when Loic Remy equalised. A freak Rickie Lambert goal right at the end means the Parrots are unlucky to finish the bottom. YTFIB prop things up and will have to win at Claymore to have a chance of shaking off that distinction. Julian was two up this week through a late brace from Dwight Gayle but cleans from Luke Shaw and John Terry gave Kevin a point.
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