FA Cup 1st round results

The holders crash out at the first hurdle.

Aardvark Abacus 1 v 3 Claymore Athletic FC
Athletico Phoenix 2 v 2 The Dead Parrots
Final Fantasy XI 0 v 2 YTFIB
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 3 v 1 Real Muppets
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 2 v 1 Mega Buck Bandits
San Dimas High School 6 v 2 FCK2
The Cow-Faced Juniors 2 v 4 Trusted By Millions
The Fabulous Artisans 2 v 0 Cheese Makers

Replay

The Dead Parrots 0 v Athletico Phoenix 2

Unfortunately for Ceri her reign as holder was short-lived. Julian can’t buy a win in the league but he knows a cup run when he’s sees one and a late goal from Marko Arnautovic plus a Paul Konchesky clean sees YTFIB into the last eight for the fifth year out of the last six. The Aardvarks and Claymore have won the FA Cup five times between them but it’s only Clive’s team that have a chance of adding to that this season. Claymore scored three first half goals, two from Scott Dann, and although Ady scored the pick of them through Ander Herrera's shot on the turn he couldn't get back in the game.

The FA Cup is surprisingly missing from Fred’s roll of honour but his team are into the last eight after beating the Muppets. Goals from Leo Ulloa, Nacer Chadli and a first from Kurt Zouma were too much for Ryan's team who could only respond through Calum Chambers. Saido Berahino hit four for San Dimas and James Milner added two more for my team as I romped to victory over FCK2 who'd taken the lead through Nathan Dyer.

Trusted went 13 years without winning the league and it’s now 11 since Beef lifted the FA Cup but his team secured a 4-2 win over the CFJs to progress. The soon-to-depart Steven Gerrard struck twice for Trusted either side of a Willian belter but Alexis Sanchez made it 2-2 eight minutes from the end. Beef's victory margin came from cleans by Gary Cahill and Martin Kelly. Nil Satis now have four straight quarter-final appearances and Mega Bucks four straight first round exits. Paul's through thanks to a rare brace by Bafetimbi Gomis.

The Artisans knocked the Cheese Makers out of the PCMT Final and Ben’s done it to Matthew again in the FA Cup. Late goals from Loic Remy and Christian Benteke proving too much for the Cheesers. The Parrots and Athletico must be sick of the sight of each other right now. After the Charity Shield Final a couple of weeks ago they’ll need a replay to sort out their tie. Brian led 2-0 through Mertersacker and Morrison but Dean levelled thanks to a late Wayne Routledge goal and Alan Hutton clean.

Athletico got the job done fairly comfortably in the replay though, Diego Costa on target again.