Week 5 Results

San Dimas now the last 100% record standing.

Aardvark Abacus 1 v 5 Trusted By Millions
Athletico Phoenix 1 v 1 Claymore Athletic FC
Cheese Makers 0 v 2 San Dimas High School
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 3 v 0 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Mega Buck Bandits 2 v 1 The Fabulous Artisans
The Cow-Faced Juniors 1 v 4 Wheel Madrid
The Wateringhole Society 0 v 1 Markian United
YTFIB 1 v 2 Real Muppets


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	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	San Dimas High School	5	5	0	0	15	2	13	15
2	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	5	4	0	1	15	5	10	12
3	Wheel Madrid	5	4	0	1	14	8	6	12
4	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	5	4	0	1	11	7	4	12
5	Cheese Makers	5	3	0	2	12	8	4	9
6	Athletico Phoenix	5	2	2	1	9	8	1	8
7	Mega Buck Bandits	5	2	1	2	13	10	3	7
8	Trusted By Millions	5	2	1	2	10	8	2	7
9	Real Muppets	5	2	1	2	9	8	1	7
10	The Wateringhole Society	5	2	0	3	9	11	-2	6
11	Markian United	5	2	0	3	9	13	-4	6
12	Claymore Athletic FC	5	1	2	2	6	9	-3	5
13	YTFIB	5	1	0	4	3	9	-6	3
14	The Cow-Faced Juniors	5	1	0	4	10	18	-8	3
15	Aardvark Abacus	5	1	0	4	5	15	-10	3
16	The Fabulous Artisans	5	0	1	4	4	15	-11	1

San Dimas are now alone at the top. My team kept up their winning run at Cheese Makers thanks to Riyad Mahrez getting his first goals since his summer signing in the last quarter of the game. Nil Satis dropped back into the chasing pack after defeat at Fred ended their winning start. The Gardeners got two goals in the run-up to half-time from accidental signing Matej Vydra and then Mo Salah on the way to a 3-0 win.

Wheel Madrid are in third after a stunning 4-1 win at the CFJs. A towering Joel Matip header set Paul on his way but James Maddison’s second half free-kick was the pick of his goals. The Phoenix are still in the top six after sharing the points with Claymore. Fred got his first WSFFL goal for Brian to open the scoring, Sergio Aguero got his umpteenth for Clive to make sure the game ended level.

Mega Bucks got their second win of the campaign in a result that keeps the Artisans at the bottom. P-E Aubameyang put Dave 2-0 up with what appeared to be an offside goal and Ben was unable to get back on terms. Trusted ran riot at the Aardvarks. Alexander Lacazette’s excellent finish had made the game 1-1 eleven minutes after the break but this only seemed to fire Beef’s team up and Erik Lamela, Alexander Mitrovic, Anthony Knockaert and Nicolas Otamendi’s clean completed a runaway victory.

YTFIB gave the Muppets a scare when Ilkay Gundogan smashed Julian’s team ahead but the Muppets had cleans from Bellerin and Tarkowski to secure the points. Markian join the Wateringhole Society on six points after beating those opponents courtesy of a Harry Kane penalty.

Stat of the Week - Our current bottom three were all in last year’s top five. Only Fred from last year’s top six are currently in the top half of the table.

Paul Cartmell Memorial Trophy 1st Round results

Four of the top five in the league make it through and Nil Satis have a second chance against the holders.

Athletico Phoenix 1 v 2 San Dimas High School
Cheese Makers 3 v 0 Claymore Athletic FC
Markian United 3 v 5 Fred West Landscape Gardening Xi
Mega Buck Bandits 1 v 3 Trusted By Millions
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 1 v 1 Real Muppets
The Wateringhole Society 2 v 4 The Fabulous Artisans
Wheel Madrid 2 v 1 Aardvark Abacus
YTFIB 0 v 4 The Cow-Faced Juniors

Replay

Real Muppets 3 v 0 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

It’s probably the done thing to start with the holders so let’s do that. More than 80,000 fans were at Nil Satis Stadium to see this one and they witnessed a goalless first half. Raheem Sterling tapped in at the start of the second period to put Ryan ahead but Paul’s star performer Matt Doherty grabbed the clean that means Nil Satis have a second chance.

Two teams from last year’s bottom-half made it into the last eight. Cheese Makers continued their great start to the season disposing of Claymore 3-0. Diminutive midfielder Ryan Fraser notched a first-half brace for Matthew and Glenn Murray’s injury time penalty snuffed out any hope of a Clive comeback. Wheel Madrid also franked their early season form when they put away the Aardvarks 2-1. Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg hit a bullet 10 minutes from the break to send Wheels in ahead and James Maddison, one of the best draftees so far IMO, put away a cool penalty with a couple of minutes left to double the lead. Jamal Lascelles' clean reduced the deficit for Ady but there was no equaliser.

The league leaders made it back to back wins over the Phoenix but it was tighter this time. First half close-range goals from David Silva and Romelu Lukaku (off his belly!) had San Dimas but Marko Arnautovic puled one back to make it a shaky last half hour for my team but I hung on. Trusted also repeated a win from week four but it was more comfortable for Beef against Mega Bucks this week. Dave had taken the lead too through another stunning Wilf Zaha effort but Andre Gray levelled the match before Trusted went ahead in injury time thanks to Erik Lamela squeezing home a shot from an acute angle (does anyone ever score from an obtuse angle?) Conor Coady’s clean made it safe for Beef.

Game of the week was Markian v Fred. Leroy Sane hasn’t had much of a look-in this season but opened the scoring for Fred inside two minutes. Eden Hazard made it 2-0 but a minute later Chris Smalling hooked in to pul one back. A Hazard shot was deflected in to make it 3-1 on 44 minutes but Gylfi Sigurdsson powered home a header in injury time to send the game in to the break with only one goal separating the sides. Danny Ings spot-kick made it 3-3 but Hazard completed his hat-trick from the spot 10 minutes from time to give the Gardeners the lead again and this time there was no Markian comeback and Ryan Bennett’s clean made it 5-3 at the death.

The Artisans won the battle of Goddard Park against the Wateringhole Society. New signing Sol Bamba had Kiran in front on 16 minutes but Ben hit back before the break, Gio Wijnaldum’s header on 39 minutes making the game level. It was 2-1 Artisans when Roberto Firmino reacted quickest to tap in after a ball came back off a post but the lead only lasted seven minutes before Raul Jimenez found the bottom corner from 15 yards. The game was settled by cleans in Ben’s favour. Patrick van Aanholt and Kyle Walker giving their team their first win of the campaign. The CFJs cruised into the quarters at YTFIB. 0-0 at the break Chris and Co’s team went into another gear, Mesut Ozil passing in on 58 minutes and then Willian unleashing a goal of the month contender seven minutes from time. Two cleans made the win look even more comprehensive.

In the replay - the Muppets left it late but their reign as PCMT holders continues after a triple clean sheet win over previously unbeaten Nil Satis.

The most-expensive WSFFL XIs (Updated Aug 2024)

Ever wondered what the most expensive WSFFL teams would look like?

Neither had I until just now but here they are...

By fees paid:

GK - £28m Kepa Arrizabalaga (The Cow-Faced Juniors: Sep 2018 - )

DEF - £62m Josko Gvardiol (San Dimas High School: Sep 2023 - )

DEF - £45m Ricardo Califiori (The Fabulous Artisans: Aug 2024 - )
DEF - £38m Leny Yoro (Claymore Atheletic FC: Aug 2024 - )
DEF - £37m Raphael Varane (Wheel Madrid: Sep 2021 - Jun 2024)

MID - £48m Kai Havertz (Stanley Athletic FC: Sep 2020 - Jul 2023)
MID - £40m Enzo Fernandez (Stanley and Gracie United: Aug 2023 - )
MID - £31m Raheem Sterling (The Fabulous Artisans: Jul 2022 - )
MID - £30m Mohammed Kudus (The Cow-Faced Juniors: Sep 2023 - )

ATT - £70m - Erling Haaland (Real Muppets: Jul 2022- )
ATT - £62m - Darwin Nunez (Markian United: Jul 2022 - )

Subs:
GK - £26m Andre Onana (Aardvark Abacus: Aug 2023 - )
DEF - £27m Kalidou Koulibaly (Fred West LG XI: Jul 2022 - Jul 2023)
MID - £29m Bruno Fernandes (Fred West LG XI: Feb 2020 - ), Donny van de Beek (Nil Satis: Sep 2020 - ), Gylfi Sigurdsson (Markian United: Sep 2017 - Jul 2022), Hakim Ziyech (Claymore Athletic: Sep 2020 - Aug 2023) 
ATT - £60m Timo Werner (Stanley Athletic FC: Sep 2020 - Aug 2022)


By fees received:

GK - £31.5m Thibaut Courtois - From Fred West LG XI to Real Madrid (Aug 2018)

DEF - £75m Virgil van Dijk - from The Cow-Faced Juniors to Liverpool (Jan 2018)
DEF - £58.77m Marc Cucurella - from Markian United to Chelsea (Aug 2022)
DEF - £50m David Luiz - from Claymore Athletic FC to Barcelona (Jul 2014)
DEF - £49.5m Aaron Wan-Bissaka - from Claymore Athletic FC to Man Utd (Jun 2019)

MID - £108m Phillippe Coutinho - from Mega Buck Bandits to Barcelona (Jan 2018)
MID - £105.75m Jack Grealish - from Wheel Madrid to Manchester City (Aug 2021)
MID - £100.1m Declan Rice - from Aardvark Abacus to Arsenal (Jul 2023)
MID - £99.8m Moises Caicedo - from San Dimas High School to Chelsea (Aug 2023)

ATT - £86.4m Harry Kane - from Markian United to Bayern Munich (Aug 2023)
ATT - £75m Luis Suarez - from The Cow-Faced Juniors to Barcelona (Jul 2014)

Subs:
GK - £20m Kasper Schmeichel from Trusted By Millions to Claymore Athletic FC (Aug 2016)
DEF - £47.5m John Stones - from Nil Satis to Manchester City (Aug 2016)
MID - £90m Eden Hazard - from Fred West LG XI to Real Madrid (Jun 2019)
ATT - £64.2m Julian Alvarez - from Cheese Makers to Atletico Madrid (Aug 2024)

Week 4 Results

Going into the first international break the table has an unfamiliar look to it.

Claymore Athletic FC 0 v 4 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Markian United 4 v 1 Aardvark Abacus
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 4 v 2 The Cow-Faced Juniors
Real Muppets 2 v 3 The Wateringhole Society
San Dimas High School 4 v 0 Athletico Phoenix
The Fabulous Artisans 2 v 5 Cheese Makers
Trusted By Millions 2 v 1 Mega Buck Bandits
Wheel Madrid 1 v 0 YTFIB


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	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	San Dimas High School	4	4	0	0	13	2	11	12
2	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	4	4	0	0	11	4	7	12
3	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	4	3	0	1	12	5	7	9
4	Cheese Makers	4	3	0	1	12	6	6	9
5	Wheel Madrid	4	3	0	1	10	7	3	9
6	Athletico Phoenix	4	2	1	1	8	7	1	7
7	The Wateringhole Society	4	2	0	2	9	10	-1	6
8	Mega Buck Bandits	4	1	1	2	11	9	2	4
9	Real Muppets	4	1	1	2	7	7	0	4
10	Trusted By Millions	4	1	1	2	5	7	-2	4
11	Claymore Athletic FC	4	1	1	2	5	8	-3	4
12	The Cow-Faced Juniors	4	1	0	3	9	14	-5	3
13	Markian United	4	1	0	3	8	13	-5	3
14	YTFIB	4	1	0	3	2	7	-5	3
15	Aardvark Abacus	4	1	0	3	4	10	-6	3
16	The Fabulous Artisans	4	0	1	3	3	13	-10	1

San Dimas and Nil Satis continue to lead the way with 100% records.

San Dimas’s fourth straight win also ended Brian’s unbeaten run in the process. Despite Pascal Gross missing a penalty for me Romelu Lukaku was having one of his almost unplayable games and struck twice before half-time. The Phoenix found no response and cleans from Boly and Rudiger gave my team a big win. Nil Satis continue to go well and last year’s champs are their latest victims. The CFJs have won just one of their last eight games and led twice in this one before letting it slip. Shkodran Mustafi’s early bullet header was cancelled out by Dominic Calvert-Lewin’s more guided effort. Wayne Hennessy’s penalty save had Chris and Co back in front but Paul produced cleans from Matt Doherty, Rui Patricio and Marcos Alonso to get the win.

Fred is looming up in third place after battering Claymore 4-0. Abdoulaye Doucoure has been an excellent signing for Clive but an unfortunate deflection off the midfielder opened the scoring in Fred’s favour. Eden Hazard fired under the Claymore keeper with five minutes to go and cleans from Vestergaard and Azpilicueta rounded out the victory. Last week Artisans boss Ben asked us to consider that 'the truth is in the whole’. Well after losing to Cheese Makers the truth is he’s in a whole lot of trouble at the foot of the table. After going behind to Marcus Bettinelli’s penalty save the Artisans were ahead seven minutes into the second half after a header from Roberto Firmino and a bullet to the bottom corner from Kyle Walker. The Glenn Murray/Troy Deeney partnership is firing like never before for Matthew and they got three between them in 17 minutes (two to Murray) before Jonny’s first clean made it 5-2 to the Cheesers.

Wheel Madrid are also on three wins out of four thanks to a David Liuz clean settling a low key game against YTFIB. The Wateringhole Society sit proudly in seventh after a come from behind win over the Muppets. Ryan was 2-0 up in ten minutes too. Raheem Sterling and Sadio Mane with unerring low strikes. The turnaround started when Andre Schurrle finished off a smart move two minutes before half-time. Joe Hart’s penalty save* tied the game with 20 minutes to go and Matt Targett got the deciding clean to give Kiran all three points.

WSFFL record signing P-E Aubameyang opened his seasonal account for Dave but ended on the wrong end of the result against Trusted. Both teams scored within a minute. Alex Mitrovic was persistent enough to prod home at the second attempt for Trusted, Aubameyang had too much time to level from range almost straight away. Conor Coady’s clean gave Beef the win and lifted them to tenth. Markian are no longer pointless after beating the Aardvarks 4-1. Quite what DeAndre Yedlin was doing haring in the box to convert a cross on the half hour was anybody’s guess but the managers will be glad he did. Danny Ings’ revival continued with the second goal straight after the break and although Andre Lacazette lashed into the top corner for Ady to give the home side an uncomfortable last ten minutes cleans from Smalling and Shaw see Markian off the bottom.

* That’s five penalty saves already this season.