Week One Results - champions start with a defeat

Markian United 0 v 3 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

Real Muppets P v P The Fabulous Artisans

San Dimas High School 1 v 2 Stanley Athletic FC

The Cow-Faced Juniors 2 v 0 Cheese Makers

The Wateringhole Society P v P Fred West Landscape Gardening XI

Trusted By Millions 1 v 3 Mega Buck Bandits

Wheel Madrid P v P Claymore Athletic FC

YTFIB 0 v 3 Aardvark Abacus 

	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	Aardvark Abacus	1	1	0	0	3	0	3	3
2	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	1	1	0	0	3	0	3	3
3	Mega Buck Bandits	1	1	0	0	3	1	2	3
4	The Cow-Faced Juniors	1	1	0	0	2	0	2	3
5	Stanley Athletic FC	1	1	0	0	2	1	1	3
6	Claymore Athletic FC	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
7	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
8	Real Muppets	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
9	The Fabulous Artisans	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
10	The Wateringhole Society	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
11	Wheel Madrid	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
12	San Dimas High School	1	0	0	1	1	2	-1	0
13	Trusted By Millions	1	0	0	1	1	3	-2	0
14	Cheese Makers	1	0	0	1	0	2	-2	0
15	Markian United	1	0	0	1	0	3	-3	0
16	YTFIB	1	0	0	1	0	3	-3	0

A nasty outbreak of postponement-itis tore through the league so we only had five matches for opening weekend.

Alphabetical order is our first leader*. The Aardvarks top what there is of the league after a 3-0 win at YTFIB. Alexandre Lacazette poked in from close range after eight minutes and Tierney and Lascelles added cleans. Nil Satis also started with a 3-0 win, against Markian. Dominic Calvert-Lewin made the breakthrough on 58 minutes with a great header while Patricio and Coleman got clean sheets.

The champions started with defeat to Mega Bucks. Dave’s side shot out of the blocks thanks to Jack Harrison’s solo run on 12 minutes and Wilf Zaha’s cool volley a minute later. Leandro Trossard pulled one back nine minutes after the break but P-E Aubameyang restored the advantage three minutes later, was so happy he signed a new contract, and that was that.

A debut goal for Gabriel and a Scott Dann clean saw the CFJs see off Cheese Makers 2-0 while last season’s runners-up Stanley Athletic started with a 2-1 win over San Dimas. Virgil van Dijk headed in on 20 minutes and new signing Mayeusz Klich added a second on 66. A Willy Boly clean wasn’t enough to grab me a point.

* This isn’t strictly true. Ady had one more counter (a cancelled clean) so is top by virtue of that. Not such a good opening line though.