Week 15 Results - CFJs lead at halfway

Claymore Athletic FC 1 v 3 Real Muppets 

Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 0 v 0 Cheese Makers 

Markian United 1 v 0 Trusted By Millions 

San Dimas High School 1 v 1 YTFIB 

Stanley and Gracie United 2 v 1 Aardvark Abacus 

The Cow-Faced Juniors 2 v 0 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 

The Wateringhole Society 4 v 3 Mega Buck Bandits 

Wheel Madrid 0 v 4 The Fabulous Artisans 

	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	The Cow-Faced Juniors	15	12	2	1	52	22	30	38
2	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	15	10	3	2	39	17	22	33
3	The Wateringhole Society	15	8	5	2	44	28	16	29
4	The Fabulous Artisans	15	9	0	6	38	26	12	27
5	Markian United	15	7	1	7	31	25	6	22
6	Stanley and Gracie United	15	7	1	7	32	33	-1	22
7	Aardvark Abacus	15	7	1	7	23	28	-5	22
8	Real Muppets	15	6	2	7	38	34	4	20
9	Wheel Madrid	15	6	2	7	17	29	-12	20
10	San Dimas High School	15	5	4	6	23	28	-5	19
11	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	15	6	1	8	22	27	-5	19
12	Trusted By Millions	15	5	3	7	29	29	0	18
13	YTFIB	15	5	3	7	15	27	-12	18
14	Claymore Athletic FC	15	5	2	8	26	36	-10	17
15	Mega Buck Bandits	15	3	1	11	18	39	-21	10
16	Cheese Makers	15	2	3	10	12	31	-19	9

We’ve reached the halfway mark of the league season and the CFJs have a five-point lead. The Cows needed two clean sheets, from Aymeric Laporte and Vladimir Coufal, to beat Nil Satis but were boosted by Fred being held to a goalless draw by bottom-placed Cheese Makers.

The Wateringhole are nine points off the summit after surviving a late charge from the Mega Bucks to win 4-3. Marcus Rashford and Kaoru Mitoma both registered spectacular first-half finishes, Bukayo Saka added an excellent goal of his own to make it three and Harvey Barnes added a fourth just after the hour. Dave replied with cleans from Nathan Ake, Luke Ayling and Ethan Pinnock but it’s now ten straight defeats for his team. The Artisans are fourth after notching a 4-0 win at Wheel Madrid. Ben taking all the points thanks to braces from Eddie Nketiah and Jarrod Bowen. Markian are this week’s fifth-placed team, Ian taking all the points against Trusted courtesy of Harry Kane’s turn and shot from the edge of the area just before half-time.

Also on 22 points are Stanley and Gracie and Aardvark Abacus. Aaron in sixth place after beating Ady’s team 2-1. Ollie Watkins headed in a free-kick 13 minutes from time but SGU turned it round with cleans from Ben Mee and Kieran Trippier. The Muppets are eighth after Erling Haaland’s hat-trick helped his team to a 3-1 win at Claymore. It’s Haaland’s fourth hat-trick of the season, only seven players have more in their WSFFL careers since 2000/01. It also takes the Norwegian to 25 for the season. That’s just two behind the best total we have (since 2007/8 when records start.) Cristiano Ronaldo scored 27 in 2007/8 and Robin van Persie equalled that feat in 2011/12.

San Dimas and YTFIB finished 1-1. Jaidon Anthony’s calm finish put me ahead on 28 minutes, Joe Gomez got the clean that gave Julian a share of the points.

Week 14 Results - Top two looking good

Aardvark Abacus 2 v 0 Markian United

Cheese Makers 0 v 1 Wheel Madrid 

Mega Buck Bandits 0 v 2 San Dimas High School

Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 0 v 1 The Wateringhole Society 

Real Muppets 1 v 2 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI

The Fabulous Artisans 1 v 5 Stanley and Gracie United 

Trusted By Millions 2 v 5 The Cow-Faced Juniors

YTFIB 3 v 2 Claymore Athletic FC 

	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	The Cow-Faced Juniors	14	11	2	1	50	22	28	35
2	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	14	10	2	2	39	17	22	32
3	The Wateringhole Society	14	7	5	2	40	25	15	26
4	The Fabulous Artisans	14	8	0	6	34	26	8	24
5	Aardvark Abacus	14	7	1	6	22	26	-4	22
6	Wheel Madrid	14	6	2	6	17	25	-8	20
7	Markian United	14	6	1	7	30	25	5	19
8	Stanley and Gracie United	14	6	1	7	30	32	-2	19
9	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	14	6	1	7	22	25	-3	19
10	Trusted By Millions	14	5	3	6	29	28	1	18
11	San Dimas High School	14	5	3	6	22	27	-5	18
12	Real Muppets	14	5	2	7	35	33	2	17
13	Claymore Athletic FC	14	5	2	7	25	33	-8	17
14	YTFIB	14	5	2	7	14	26	-12	17
15	Mega Buck Bandits	14	3	1	10	15	35	-20	10
16	Cheese Makers	14	2	2	10	12	31	-19	8

The top two continue blazing a trail. The CFJs hit the 50 goal mark for the season with a 5-2 win at Trusted. Brennan Johnson scored two for the Cows but Beef looked to have grabbed a point when the returning Alexander Isak headed in from a yard out with a minute left. Chris and Co took the win with cleans from Kepa, Gabriel and Max Kilman. Fred got off on the wrong foot against the Muppets when Hugo Lloris steered a cross into his own net on 14 minutes. Jack Grealish headed in on the hour to level and Bruno Fernandes’ controversial ‘offside’ goal on 78 minutes proved the winner.

Champions Wateringhole are up to third after a narrow win at Nil Satis. Marcus Rashford steered a shot through the keeper’s legs eight minutes from time for the only goal of the game. The Artisans drop to fourth after a heavy home defeat to SGU. Ben was one up at the break courtesy of Martin Odegaard’s long-range shot into the corner but it was all Aaron after the break. James Ward-Prowse got two, one a trademark free-kick, either side of a Kai Havertz header to make it 3-1 and cleans from Ben Mee and Kieran Trippier took the score to 5-1.

Trying to guess the position of teams between fifth and 14th could be a new National Lottery sub-game! The Aardvarks are fifth this week following their 2-0 clean sheet (Scott McKenna and Ben White) win over Markian. Wheel Madrid are sixth thanks to their 1-0 win at Cheese Makers. Leon Bailey’s brilliant curling effort inside three minutes was the only score of the game.

It was a clean sheet win for San Dimas at Mega Bucks to push my team into 11th. Hugo Bueno and Dan Burn getting on the scoresheet. YTFIB join Claymore on 17 points after beating those opponents 3-2. Clive led twice in this one, Amadou Onana heading in before the break and Daniel Podence restoring the lead with a first-time shot from 18 yards. Both goals were equalised by former ‘Swordsman' Solly March who Clive reliably informs me didn’t score for Claymore! It was a Nathan Collins clean that gave all the points to Julian.