Ben Warr, manager of WSFFL new boys The Fabulous Artisans, admits his man management skills are being sorely tested in the first few weeks of the new season.
"I think I may have made a mistake in signing Joey Barton" said Ben during a break in training at the Artisans' Town Gardens practice ground.
"He's already beaten up 3 other players, the first team coach, and a couple of passing schoolboys who he said were looking at him in a funny way. On top of which Michael Chopra has had to go back in to Rehab because Joey had him out on the town before Michael had even got changed following his brace of goals playing for Sunderland last week.
"And that's another thing" spouted the thrusting young manager, visibly getting up a head of steam, "every time I leave a player out of the side they seem to turn up playing for an EPL team and inevitably scoring goals left, right and centre.
"First Chris Brunt for WBA, then Mark Noble for West Ham and finally Michael for Sunderland. I've asked the chairman to take a look at their contracts but he just mumbled something about extortionate wage bills and having to make ends meet and he told me that I'd better not ask too many questions or I might find myself back on civvy street toot bloody sweet.
"All of these European sugar daddies around and we ended up with a cock-er-nee hod carrier who got lucky renting hovels to Eastern European prostitutes. I ask you!"
Ben then had to cut short the interview as Craig Bellamy had decided to lay into Darius Vassell for no apparent reason. It seems all is not well in the Artisans camp - best of luck Ben, you're going to need it!
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