WSFFL - Week 5 Results

Bassett Allsorts 0 v 1 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Claymore Athletic FC 1 v 1 Athletico Phoenix
Final Fantasy XI 0 v 2 The Dead Parrots
Mega Buck Bandits 1 v 2 The Fabulous Artisans
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 1 v 1 Trusted By Millions
Real Muppets 1 v 4 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
The Cow-Faced Juniors 2 v 5 San Dimas High School
York’s Returning Glory 3 v 2 Aardvark Abacus

Fred West are alone at the top after making it five wins out of five. The closest match yet for 'the Gardeners' though as only Nani's excellent run and shot was the difference against Bassett Allsorts. There's a two-point gap to Boston Rock who ended the Muppets 100% record with a comfortable 4-1 win. Two more for Darren Bent and big money signing Kevin Nolan was also on target from the spot before Carlos Tevez pulled one back for Ryan. Sheriff taking my comment about his mid-table near future and ramming back down my throat!

The Parrots continue their excellent start to the season with a 2-0 win at Final Fantasy. Human battering ram Kenwyne Jones with a goal and a Kolo Toure clean for Dean too much for Ceri's team this week. Trusted are fifth but Beef must be worrying about his lack of goals. His team were held to 1-1 draw against bottom-placed Nil Satis after being unable to build on Steven Gerrard's goal and conceding a Lars Jacobsen clean to Paul's strugglers.

Perhaps it's the Aardvarks who are on the slide. They crashed 3-2 at York's with a Manuel Almunia saved penalty and two goals from Samir Nasri giving Julian a 3-0 lead before Ady's team woke up and pulled back a couple of cleans. It's rare a team wins the league with more than five or six defeats, the Aardvarks are a third of the way there already. The CFJs are seventh despite crashing 5-2 at home to San Dimas. James Perch's bullet own goal header gave Chris a 2-1 lead with five minutes to go but I had plenty of clean sheets up my sleeve, including a rare one from Ali Al-Habsi, to get the win.

Athletico Phoenix close out the top half after a 1-1 draw with Claymore. Zat Knight's clever flick on six minutes looked to have won the match but a Manuel da Costa clean tied things up for Clive at the death. Brian left disappointed that he was unable to get a new signing (see below) into his team due to work commitments and then watching him pop one in for the reserves. We finish this week with a first win for the Artisans. Ben had a helping hand from Mega Bucks when Charlie Adam nodded into his own net after 20 minutes. Stewart Downing doubled the lead five minutes later, converting a fine Marc Albrighton cross, while Dave could only reply with a Matt Jarvis cross that eluded everybody and found the net on the hour.

Week 4 Results

Aardvark Abacus 3 v 1 Final Fantasy XI
Athletico Phoenix 0 v 2 Bassett Allsorts
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 6 v 0 York’s Returning Glory
San Dimas High School 2 v 3 Real Muppets
The Dead Parrots 5 v 0 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
The Fabulous Artisans 2 v 2 The Cow-Faced Juniors
Trusted By Millions 2 v 2 Mega Buck Bandits
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 1 v 1 Claymore Athletic FC

Fred takes another turn at the top. The 'Gardeners' show no signs of a scoring let-up bashing six past York's. Dimitar Berbatov hit a hat-trick, including a stunning overhead, and new signing Rafael van der Vaart was on the scoresheet too. Julian's team are on the slide and next up they face the Aardvarks! The Muppets have a 100% record too. Ryan's team raced into a 3-0 lead against San Dimas with mainly a Florent Malouda double to thank for it and then held on despite two of the new High School intake, Hatem Ben Arfa and Peter Odemwingie, getting their first goals for the club. Honestly, what do I have to do to win a game?

There's a change at the top as Boston Rock were held to a draw by Claymore. It could have been worse for Sheriff after Scott Dann steered into his own goal but Darren Bent struck with time almost up to deny Clive the three points. No Lampard, Terry or Ferdinand for Sheriff this week - was this a glimpse of his mid-table near future? (He said controversially). Aardvark Abacus are in fourth and heading a batch of teams on seven points. Ady's side aren't convincing me yet and needed three cleans to overturn Cameron Jerome's first goal for Final Fantasy which had kept Ceri in front for 75 minutes.

Perhaps the Parrots will be this season's surprise package. Dean's team showed plenty of bouncebackability after last week's defeat to Mega Bucks and stuffed Nil Satis 5-0. A tap in from Scott Parker and then both Parrots strikers on target to set up the win. Is there a better attacking header of a ball then Kenwyne Jones in the league? Paul's team now prop up the league after this result and have got nothing going at all yet this term. Nil Satis are bottom because Bassett Allsorts broke their duck against Athletico Phoenix. Brian was worried about Salomon Kalou and was proved right after 73 seconds. The Phoenix should have earned a point but Rosicky blazed his penalty over and Roman Pavlyuchenko confirmed the Allsorts win.

The Fabulous Artisans showed a bit more gumption than of late when earning a draw against the CFJs. It did take a James Collins clean to give Ben a share of the spoils after headed goals from Samba and Dempsey for Chris wiped out Ashley Young's opener. Mega Bucks proved that last week's win wasn't a flash in the pan in getting a draw at Trusted. Cesc Fabregas' freak deflection and Steven Fletcher had Dave's team two up but two Steven Gerrard set pieces levelled matters for Beef.

San Dimas Signing

San Dimas High School have narrowly beaten this weekend's transfer deadline to sign Fulham defender Rafik Halliche.

The central defender was a part of the Algerian World Cup squad which thwarted England in that memorable game this summer and joins the High School as another defensive option.

Halliche will undergo a late fitness test before today's game with Real Muppets so his debut may be delayed.

New Zealand defender Winston Reid leaves the club after one game and not a good one at that!

The Summer's Top Transfers

Some big money flew around at the two auctions this year. Here's a reminder of the £10m plus signings.

£27m Mario Balotelli to the Fabulous Artisans
£18.5m Asamoah Gyan to Aardvark Abacus
£18m Laurent Koscielny to  Real Muppets
£17.5m Marouane Chamakh to Aardvark Abacus
£17m Javier Hernandez to Trusted By Millions
£17m David Silva to Fred West
£16m Rafael van der Vaart to Fred West
£13m Alexandar Kolarov to Fred West
£11m Jerome Boateng to Fred West
£11m Jermaine Beckford to Athletico Phoenix
£10.5m Kevin Nolan to Boston Rock
£10m Steven Taylor to Boston Rock

Any suggestions as to which of these will be the best and which has 'expensive turkey of a signing' written all over it?

Paul Cartmell Memorial Cup Quarter-final draw

Made at the transfer window auction and finalised by Clive's win last week here's how they came out of the yellow bag.

Aardvark Abacus v Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
The Dead Parrots v You Know Your Boston Rock FC
The Fabulous Artisans v Real Muppets
Claymore Athletic FC v Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

Ties to be played w/c 16 October

Week 3 (and PCMT replay) results

PCMT 1st round replay

Trusted By Millions 0 v 3 Claymore Athletic FC

Clive sets up a quarter-final against Nil Satis.

Week 3 Results

Bassett Allsorts 1 v 3 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Claymore Athletic FC 5 v 3 San Dimas High School
Final Fantasy XI 0 v 2 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Mega Buck Bandits 3 v 1 The Dead Parrots
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 3 v 3 Aardvark Abacus
Real Muppets 2 v 0 The Cow-Faced Juniors
Trusted By Millions 1 v 0 The Fabulous Artisans
York’s Returning Glory 0 v 1 Athletico Phoenix

Boston, Fred and Muppets still on maximum points.

Boston Rock left it late to make it three wins out of three. Salomon Kalou's flukey rebound had Bassett Allsorts on top until the very end when three cleans swung the game in Sheriff's favour. Ben F now the only boss without a point. Fred West still hot on the heels of the leaders after a 2-0 win to Final Fantasy. Dimitar Berbatov on target again, could the lanky Bulgarian really make his mark on this season?

The Muppets are our third 100% team after a 2-0 win over the CFJs. Koscielny and Brunt were on target before half-time for Ryan. Chris's team stay fourth though. They're just ahead of Trusted who edged out the Artisans by a single clean sheet courtesy of Jamie Carragher. Ben's team very goal-shy so far this season and now one off the bottom.

Athletico Phoenix made it two wins out of three with a Steven Carr clean being the difference against York's. Aardvark Abacus blew a three-goal lead to draw against Nil Satis and already trail their arch-rivals by five points. Kalinic, Modric and Chamakh all scored before the hour mark and it stayed that way until injury time when Cahill and Arteta scored and Coleman levelled the game with a clean. A dramatic way for Paul to get his first point of the season.

Clive is off the mark too, after beating San Dimas 5-3. Michael Essien's second had me 3-2 ahead with seven minutes to go but Dembele and a couple of cleans sealed the win. When I score three goals and end up on the wrong end I think a little of me dies inside. Last but by no means least were Mega Bucks picking up a win. Dave's recent signings Charlie Adam and Antolin Alcaraz getting on the scoresheet but Dean's consolation from Scott Parker was a gem of a chip.

Mega Bucks Movers

Mega Buck Bandits manager David Bevan has reacted to his team's appalling start to the new season by blaming everybody else and making major changes to his defence.

The Bandits have incredibly shipped 21 goals in the three games this season and Dave decided not to wait for the transfer window auction to make changes.

The WSFFL fax machine was buzzing on pool closure day as Emiliano Insua, Stuart Parnaby and Alan Hutton all departed the club.

The Mega Bucks scouts recommended Stephen Ward, Antolin Alcaraz, Ian Evatt, Gabriel Tamas and
Stephen Darby as the players to tighten the Bandits up at the back. Time will tell!