FA Cup Round One Results

Athletico Phoenix 1 v 4 San Dimas High School
Bassett Allsorts 3 v 1 Trusted By Millions
Final Fantasy XI 1 v 1 Claymore Athletic FC
Real Muppets 1 v 2 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
The Cow-Faced Juniors 1 v 2 Mega Buck Bandits
The Dead Parrots 2 v 9 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
The Fabulous Artisans 3 v 0 Aardvark Abacus
York’s Returning Glory 4 v 2 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

Looks like the holders have no intention of letting the Trophy go lightly! Boston Rock, as far as I can tell, secured their record victory and equalled the highest FA Cup score in the opening game of their defence. As Parrots manager Dean said, I guess they're not Sheriff's bogey team anymore. Big names like Terry, Lampard, Defoe and Ferdinand were all on the scoresheet, the holders are in good health as we enter the second half of the season. They couldn't pull the Treble off again, could they? Beaten finalists in the last two seasons the CFJs won't be making it three in a row. Despite Nicolas Anelka giving Chris the lead just after the break but some penalty area clumsiness gave Cesc Fabregas the chance to level from the spot then Ryan Nelsen got a winning clean for the Mega Bucks.

The other real shock was Bassett Allsorts downing Trusted. Soloman Kalou had Ben ahead on the half hour but an unlucky own goal meant Beef was level just after the break. Rare goals from Marouane Fellaini and particularly Stilyan Petrov clinched victory for the Allsorts. The Artisans have had something of the 'evil eye' over the Aardvarks since joining the league and they kept that great run against their opponents going. Marc Albrighton and Leighton Baines getting the goals for Ben W, it looks like Ady will be going pot-less this year.

Fred has his eye on the double after edging past the Muppets 2-1. Ryan Giggs struck an early penalty for the league leaders but Muppets talisman Carlos Tevez had Ryan level at the break. Patrice Evra's clean settled the game in Fred's favour after a quiet second half. A Diomansy Kamara hat-trick was too much for Nil Satis and helped York's into the quarter-finals. Julian made the semis last year and clearly fancies another run. Paul's season has never really got going.

It's been six seasons since San Dimas were in a semi-final but I'm one game away after seeing off the Phoenix. Jermaine Beckford nodded Brian ahead on the half hour but Nenad Milijas settled any San Dimas nerves five minutes later with a 35-yard belter. The second-half saw a Stephen Hunt penalty give me the lead and then Johan Elmander popped up to settle the tie in the last minute. One match still to decide as Final Fantasy and Claymore drew 1-1. Cameron Jerome's goal for Ceri cancelled out by a Jose Bosingwa clean for Clive.