Week 3 Results

Aardvark Abacus 1 v 3 The Fabulous Artisans
Athletico Phoenix 3 v 1 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Mega Buck Bandits 1 v 1 Final Fantasy XI
Real Muppets 0 v 2 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
San Dimas High School 3 v 3 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
The Cheese Makers 0 v 0 York’s Returning Glory
The Dead Parrots 1 v 1 The Cow-Faced Juniors
Trusted By Millions 9 v 6 Claymore Athletic FC

Trusted send a message to the league who must be thinking about dialling 999. Beef's team made it nine points out of nine by sticking nine past week one leaders Claymore who scored six themselves. I think this must be the highest-scoring match in WSFFL history (unless anyone knows different) and probably deserves a report of its own (now there's an idea!). I'll keep it short here by saying that Edin Dzeko scored four for Trusted (his fourth is a thing of beauty if you haven't seen it), Wayne Rooney hit three for Claymore and both teams 'keepers saved penalties. Trusted can safely be called title favourites on this form, Claymore have scored 13 times this season yet find themselves with only three points and a minus goal difference! The Cheese Makers and York's are both still unbeaten as they played out a goalless draw. Both teams probably need more up front (Matthew dropped Franco Di Santo who promptly scored twice for the 'reserves') so a draw suits both teams at this stage of the season.

The Fabulous Artisans are up to third after beating the Aardvarks and adding to the current gloom over the Rosebery Bowl. Ben's team bounced back from last week's defeat to San Dimas led by two exquisitely curled efforts from Ashley Young. The second came a minute after Ady's side had pulled the game back to 1-2 through Ryan Shotton and effectively finished the game off. The CFJs are unbeaten too but thought they had another three points in the bag through Clint Dempsey's header on 88 minutes but an Emerson Boyce clean for the Parrots keeps Dean's team in the top half.

Our reigning champions are still unbeaten too but a second draw sees them four points behind our leaders. Two goals in a second-half minute through Nani and Younes Kaboul put Fred 3-1 up and surely last year's team would have closed this game out but Neil Taylor and Maynor Figueroa got cleans to grab a point for San Dimas. Last year's runners-up have yet to pick up a win and are now bottom. Robin van Persie put Athletico Phoenix ahead from close range on 74 minutes but in the next ten minutes Brian had Carl Jenkinson sent off and saw Frank Lampard equalise for Sheriff from the spot. Boston Rock were unable to break down the ten men and Ivan Klasnic (who has one of the best goals per minute records in the Premier League) swept Brian back in front in injury time and summer signing Phil Neville added a clean to complete the Phoenix' first win of the campaign.

Nil Satis were also first-time winners and also left it late. Mikel Arteta struck from the spot as the game drew to a close and John O'Shea doubled the advantage with a clean. Real Muppets have made a stuttering start too. There will be a few teams looking at the September transfer list and wondering how they can improve their squad. We'll end with the Okus Derby which finished level. Mega Bucks struck through Charlie Adam early in the second half but the sending off of 'keeper John Ruddy gave Ceri the advantage for the last ten minutes and an Angel Rangel clean meant it's honours even in the Bevan household for a while at least.