Aardvark Abacus 5 v 0 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Athletico Phoenix 0 v 1 The Fabulous Artisans
Claymore Athletic FC 4 v 3 San Dimas High School
Final Fantasy XI 3 v 1 The Cheese Makers
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 0 v 5 The Cow-Faced Juniors
The Dead Parrots 2 v 1 Mega Buck Bandits
Trusted By Millions 0 v 2 Real Muppets
YTFIB 1 v 8 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
| Team | P | W | D | L | F | A | Diff | CC | SP | Pts | |
| 1 | You Know Your Boston Rock FC | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 8 | 1 | 7 | 0 | 0 | 3 |
| 2 | Aardvark Abacus | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 3 |
| 3 | The Cow-Faced Juniors | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 5 | 2 | 1 | 3 |
| 4 | Final Fantasy XI | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 3 |
| 5 | Real Muppets | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 1 | 3 |
| 6 | Claymore Athletic FC | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 3 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 3 |
| 7 | The Dead Parrots | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 3 |
| 8 | The Fabulous Artisans | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 3 |
| 9 | San Dimas High School | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 4 | -1 | 2 | 0 | 0 |
| 10 | Mega Buck Bandits | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 2 | -1 | 1 | 0 | 0 |
| 11 | Athletico Phoenix | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | -1 | 1 | 0 | 0 |
| 12 | The Cheese Makers | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 3 | -2 | 1 | 0 | 0 |
| 13 | Trusted By Millions | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 | -2 | 2 | 0 | 0 |
| 14 | Fred West Landscape Gardening XI | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 5 | -5 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| 15 | Nil Satis Nisi Optimum | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 5 | -5 | 2 | 0 | 0 |
| 16 | YTFIB | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 8 | -7 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
As it's the first week of the season the report this week will take the shape of a list of firsts.
First goal - came from 2010/11 Player of the Season Branislav Ivanovic for Claymore on two minutes. San Dimas later led 3-2 but cleans from Ivanovic and David Luiz set the champions off with a win.
First rout - Boston Rock equalled their biggest ever league win, stuffing YTFIB 8-1 and are top of our fledgling table. Julian's previous biggest defeat was 7-0 to the same opponents in week 16 last season.
First blank - Fred West LG XI are the first team to record no goals and no cleans this season. Their opponents, Aardvark Abacus, left it late with a 90th minute goal and then four cleans to give Fred pain.
First brace - Was from the CFJs' Michu and a minute later Mladen Petric bagged his second for Chris in the win over Nil Satis. Kelvin Davis saved the first penalty of the season and all seven of Chris' contributions came from new signings.
First red card - Was Danny Agger of the Muppets. Conversely to Chris, Ryan named a side from last season, all 15 still being at the club, and despite Agger's red card finished 2-0 winners at last season's runners-up, Trusted.
First game entirely settled by cleans - Was the Artisans 1-0 win over Athletico Phoenix. Kieran Gibbs is credited with the winner, can he stay fit for more than a few weeks?
First goal for Rickie Lambert - Turned out to be the decider as the Parrots beat Mega Bucks 2-1. Will Lambert be a bargain at £10m or a flash in the pan? We shall see.
First game where I can't think of any firsts - Final Fantasy defeating the Cheese Makers 3-1. Shane Long missed a penalty for Matthew that would have put his side ahead and Ceri closed it out with a couple of cleans.
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