PCMT 1st Round Results - Holders crash out

Cheese Makers 1 v 3 The Fabulous Artisans

Claymore Athletic FC 1 v 1 The Cow-Faced Juniors

Markian United 3 v 0 Real Muppets

Mega Buck Bandits 1 v 3 Stanley Athletic FC

Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 3 v 2 The Wateringhole Society

San Dimas High School 0 v 5 Trusted By Millions

Wheel Madrid 2 v 1 Aardvark Abacus

YTFIB 2 v 5 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI

Replay

The Cow-Faced Juniors 1 v 2 Claymore Athletic FC

It’s traditional to start with the holders - but I won’t be doing that in the next round as the Muppets are gone. Reece James’ sending off just before the break gave a boost to Markian and they took advantage eight minutes after half-time with Rodri’s precise finish. Ian’s defence held out too and Luke Shaw and Davinson Sanchez added cleans to make it a shock 3-0 win. Last year's runners-up have gone too, Mega Bucks going down 3-1 to Stanley. Kai Havertz' flick header put Aaron in front on 22 minutes but Michail Antonio smashed in to level the game for Dave on 68 minutes. It took a VAR-awarded penalty to break the deadlock six minutes into injury time when James Ward-Prowse converted for Stanley and Harry Maguire had time for a clean to make it 3-1.

Big winners of the week were Trusted who took San Dimas apart 5-0. Gabriel Jesus got the first just before the interval but the star for Beef was new signing Conor Gallagher with two smart finishes in 13 second-half minutes. De Gea and Webster cleans put the gloss on the result. League leaders Fred also scored five, against YTFIB. Julian took the lead too, an Ilkay Gundogan header, but that advantage lasted only five minutes before a Ferran Torres equaliser. Mo Salah’s penalty and Torres again made it 3-1 before Alain St-Maximin crashed in on 90 minutes to reduce the deficit. That was a close as he got as Fred bagged cleans from Lloris and Wan-Bissaka to round out the win.

The Wateringhole Society haven’t won a PCMT game in the seven seasons since Kiran joined the league. The run continued with a 3-2 defeat to Nil Satis. Ivan Toney put the Society in front early on but goals from Demarai Gray, Dominic Calvert-Lewin from the spot and Marc Albrighton swung the game in Paul’s favour and Sergio Reguilon’s clean for Kiran was only a consolation. Cleans were the difference in the Cheese Makers/Artisans game. Kyle Walker’s first-half clean put Ben in front, Chris Wood poked in to level for Matthew on the hour only to see Patrick Bamford return the poke with interest four minutes from time and then Lucas Digne’s clean made it 3-1 for the Artisans.

The Aardvarks won’t be adding to their eight PCMT Final defeats after going down 2-1 to Wheel Madrid. Jamie Vardy found space to smash in on eight minutes, Ady’s team replied three minutes from the break when Son Heung-Min’s free-kick drifted past everybody. Callum Wilson’s diving header on 55 minutes put the Wheelmen into the last eight. One game still to sort out after Claymore and the CFJs drew 1-1. Teemu Pukki\s first goal in his second spell for Clive gave his team the lead, the Cows earned the replay with America’s Laporte’s clean.

In the replay - the returning Cristiano Ronaldo scored twice to see Claymore past the CFJs.