2023/24 Week Three Results - Artisans the last 100%ers

Aardvark Abacus 2 v 0 Trusted By Millions 

Claymore Athletic FC 2 v 1 Cheese Makers

Mega Buck Bandits 1 v 2 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI

Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 0 v 3 Stanley and Gracie United

The Cow-Faced Juniors 0 v 3 Markian United

The Fabulous Artisans 4 v 2 San Dimas High School

The Wateringhole Society 3 v 1 Wheel Madrid

YTFIB 2 v 1 Real Muppets

	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	The Fabulous Artisans	3	3	0	0	11	3	8	9
2	Markian United	3	2	0	1	6	3	3	6
3	The Wateringhole Society	3	2	0	1	8	6	2	6
4	Aardvark Abacus	3	2	0	1	6	4	2	6
5	Trusted By Millions	3	2	0	1	6	4	2	6
6	Cheese Makers	3	2	0	1	7	6	1	6
7	Claymore Athletic FC	3	2	0	1	4	3	1	6
8	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	3	2	0	1	6	6	0	6
9	Stanley and Gracie United	3	2	0	1	4	4	0	6
10	Mega Buck Bandits	3	1	1	1	5	3	2	4
11	YTFIB	3	1	1	1	6	6	0	4
12	Wheel Madrid	3	1	0	2	6	8	-2	3
13	Real Muppets	3	1	0	2	4	6	-2	3
14	San Dimas High School	3	0	0	3	4	8	-4	0
15	The Cow-Faced Juniors	3	0	0	3	3	8	-5	0
16	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	3	0	0	3	1	9	-8	0

Just one team left with a 100% record after this week - The Fabulous Artisans. Ben’s team beat San Dimas 4-2. Raheem Sterling opened the scoring in the first half but it was a 15-minute burst in the second that took the game away from me. Moussa Diaby, Sterling again and £50m Nicolas Jackson all scoring before the Saints could muster consolation replies from Hugo Bueno (a clean) and Joao Palhinha.

Eight teams have six points and Markian are top of that pile. Harry who? Ian’s team left it late against the CFJs with all three goals coming in the last ten minutes, two from Darwin Nunez and another belter from Rodri doing the damage.

The Wateringhole Society are third after beating Wheel Madrid 3-1. James Maddison timed his run superbly to slot Paul ahead on 17 minutes but Kiran’s team turned it round after the break. Dejan Kulusevski got in front of his marker at the near post to level and Bukayo Saka scored a penalty before Maio Gusto’s clean confirmed the win. Two cleans were enough for the Aardvarks to end Trusted’s perfect start. Axel Disasi and Levi Colwill got the counters for Ady.

Cheese Makers drop to sixth after their first loss but stay ahead of their conquerors, Claymore. Matty Cash was the unlikely hero for Clive, scoring twice in the first 20 minutes while Casemiro’s prodded reply for Matthew on 52 minutes couldn’t spark a full fightback. Fred’s second win of the season came at the expense of Mega Bucks. Dave’s team led too, Michail Antonio finding the far corner just after the hour. Bruno Fernandes levelled from the spot and Cristian Romero got the winning clean.

SGU are three points off the top and in the bottom half of the table! The 3-0 win over Nil Satis looks one-sided but it took a while for Aaron to recover after Virgil van Dijk’s sending off. Joachim Andersen broke the deadlock on 76 minutes, bundling under the keeper and Pascal Gross doubled the lead from the edge of the area five minutes later. Ben Chilwell bagged a clean to end the scoring. YTFIB beat the Muppets 2-1 in a ‘bad day at the office’ for Ryan. Christian Eriksen got a debut goal for Julian on 17 minutes while Erling Haaland spurned a chance to equalise from the spot 20 minutes later. Last year’s Golden Boot winner did get the equaliser in the 63rd minute but the Muppets were hampered by Calvin Bassey’s late sending off and a Joe Gomez clean gave YTFIB the winner.

2023/24 Week Two Results - Three teams make it two out of two

Cheese Makers 4 v 3 YTFIB 

Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 2 v 4 The Wateringhole Society 

Markian United 2 v 0 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

Real Muppets 0 v 3 Mega Buck Bandits 

San Dimas High School 1 v 2 Claymore Athletic FC 

Stanley and Gracie United 0 v 4 The Fabulous Artisans 

Trusted By Millions 2 v 1 The Cow-Faced Juniors

Wheel Madrid 2 v 3 Aardvark Abacus

	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	The Fabulous Artisans	2	2	0	0	7	1	6	6
2	Trusted By Millions	2	2	0	0	6	2	4	6
3	Cheese Makers	2	2	0	0	6	4	2	6
4	Mega Buck Bandits	2	1	1	0	4	1	3	4
5	The Wateringhole Society	2	1	0	1	5	5	0	3
6	Wheel Madrid	2	1	0	1	5	5	0	3
7	Aardvark Abacus	2	1	0	1	4	4	0	3
8	Markian United	2	1	0	1	3	3	0	3
9	Claymore Athletic FC	2	1	0	1	2	2	0	3
10	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	2	1	0	1	4	5	-1	3
11	Real Muppets	2	1	0	1	3	4	-1	3
12	Stanley and Gracie United	2	1	0	1	1	4	-3	3
13	YTFIB	2	0	1	1	4	5	-1	1
14	The Cow-Faced Juniors	2	0	0	2	3	5	-2	0
15	San Dimas High School	2	0	0	2	2	4	-2	0
16	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	2	0	0	2	1	6	-5	0

The 100%ers

The Artisans take over at the top on goal difference after a 4-0 win at SGU. Goals from Carney Chukwuemeka and Martin Odegaard (from the spot) put Ben’s team in control and cleans from Kyle Walker and Billy Gilmour (from the bench) completed the rout. Trusted are down a place but saw off the CFJs 2-1.An acrobatic Luis Diaz strike put Beef in front and the lead was doubled two minutes before the break when Aphonse Areola saved a penalty. The Cows pulled one back straight away through Yoan Wissa but that was the end of the scoring.

Game of the week was the seven-goal Cheese Makers against YTFIB thriller with Matthew coming out on the right side of the 4-3 scoreline. The Cheese were two up at the break, Nayef Aguerd powering in a seventh-minute header and a great strike from Julian Alvarez. Julian’s team were level ten minutes after the break, through a Solly March brace, then Matthew suffered a double blow with red cards for Aguerd and Alexis Mac Allister. The nine men were on top again with Bryan Mbeumo brace to make it 4-2 and held on despite a Nathan Collins clean in reply.

The other unbeaten team

Is Mega Bucks who put the Muppets away 3-0. A stunning strike from Michail Antonio eight minutes after half-time opened the scoring and cleans from Ethan Pinnock and Lucas Digne rounded out the victory.

The Nil pointers (as well as the CFJs)

Nil Satis - nil points. (So far). Paul’s team lost 2-0 to Markian. Destiny Udogie’s early clean broke the deadlock with 20 minutes to go and an injury time spot-kick from Lucas Paqueta gave Ian his first win of the campaign. San Dimas are also pointless after a 2-1 defeat to Claymore. Pervis Estupinan put my team ahead straight after the interval but Clive took the points thanks to cleans from Manuel Akanji and Toti Gomes.

The teams I haven’t written about yet

Aardvark Abacus join Wheel Madrid on three points after beating those opponents 3-2. Paul led twice, through John McGann and Leon Bailey, but was pegged back by Pape Sarr and Diogo Jota. Ben White got the winning clean for Ady. We’d expect Fred and the Wateringhole Society to be at the sharp end of the table come May so how big will Kiran’s 4-2 win prove to be*. An early Taiwo Awoniyi header for the champions was cancelled out after 15 minutes by a superb solo Kaoru Mitoma goal. The Gardeners led again when Mohamed Salah followed up his penalty rebound and that looked to be it until an unlucky Lisandro Martinez own goal levelled the scores with seven minutes left. Kiran’s team kicked on for the win thanks to cleans from Ruben Dias and Ezra Konsa.