WSFFL Top Transfer Fees Received (updated Aug 2024)

The league's biggest deals... (I'm guessing a little bit as our records aren't complete but I think this is a fair stab and we don't pay add-ons)

£108m - Phillippe Coutinho from Mega Buck Bandits to Barcelona (Jan 2018)

£105.75m - Jack Grealish from Wheel Madrid to Manchester City (Aug 2021)

£100.1m - Declan Rice from Aardvark Abacus to Arsenal (Jul 2023)

£99.8m - Moises Caicedo from San Dimas to Chelsea (Aug 2023)
£90m - Eden Hazard from Fred West LG XI to Real Madrid (Jun 2019)

£86.4m - Harry Kane from Markian United to Bayern Munich (Aug 2023)
£85.3m - Gareth Bale from The Cow-Faced Juniors to Real Madrid (Sep 2013)
£80m - Cristiano Ronaldo from Real Muppets to Real Madrid (Jul 2009)
£75m - Virgil van Dijk from The Cow-Faced Juniors to Liverpool (Jan 2018)
£75m - Luis Suarez from The Cow-Faced Juniors to Barcelona (Jul 2014)

£64.2m - Julian Alvarez from Cheese Makers to Atletico Madrid (Aug 2024)

£61.02m - Riyad Mahrez from Athletico Phoenix to Manchester City (Jul 2018)

£60.2m - Kai Havertz from Stanley and Gracie to Arsenal (Jul 2023)
£60m - Oscar from Nil Satis to Shanghai SiPG (Jan 2017)
£59.4m - Diego Costa from Athletico Phoenix to Atletico Madrid (Jan 2018)

£58.77m - Marc Cucurella from Markian United to Chelsea (Aug 2022)
£58.5m - Romelu Lukaku from San Dimas to Inter Milan (Aug 2019)

£54.9m - Mason Mount from The Fabulous Artisans to Manchester United (Jul 2023)

£53.1m - Matheus Nunes from Claymore Athletic FC to Manchester City (Sep 2023)

£52.2m - Richarlison from Trusted By Millions to Tottenham (Jul 2022)

£52.2m - Raphinha from Trusted By Millions to Barcelona (Jul 2022)

£51.4m - Pedro Neto from The Wateringhole Society to Chelsea (Jul 2024)

£50.58m - Raheem Sterling from Real Muppets to Chelsea (Jul 2022)

£50.5m - Moussa Diaby from The Fabulous Artisans to Al-Ittihad (Jul 2024)
£50.4m - Alvaro Morata from The Cow-Faced Juniors (Jul 2020)

£50m - Amadou Onana from Claymore Athletic FC to Aston Villa (Jul 2024)
£50m - David Luiz from Claymore Athletic FC to Barcelona (Jul 2014)
£50m - Fernando Torres from Trusted By Millions to Chelsea (Jan 2011)

£49.5m - Ferran Torres from Fred West LG XI to Barcelona (Jan 2022)
£49.5m - Aaron Wan-Bissaka from Claymore to Manchester United (Jun 2019)
£47.5m - John Stones from Nil Satis to Manchester City (Aug 2016)

£47.3m - Ruben Neves from Mega Buck Bandits to Al-Hilal (July 2023)

£45m - Aleksandar Mitrovic from Claymore Athletic to Al-Hilal (Aug 2023)
£45m - Gylfi Sigurdsson from The Cow-Faced Juniors to Everton (Aug 2017)
£45m - Kyle Walker from San Dimas to Manchester City (Jul 2017)
£44.7m - Michael Olise from Wheel Madrid to Bayern Munich (Jul 2024)

£44.3m - Angel Di Maria from Real Muppets to PSG (Aug 2015)
£43.87m - Kalvin Phillips from Markian United to Manchester City (Jul 2022)

£43.7m - Douglas Luiz from Cheese Makers to Juventus (Jul 2024)

£42.9m - Joao Palhinha from San Dimas to Bayern Munich (Jul 2024)

£40.77m - Nathan Ake from Wateringhole Society to Manchester City (Aug 2020)
£40.5m - Richarlison from Cheese Makers to Everton (Jul 2018)

£40.2m - Max Kilman from The Cow-Faced Juniors to West Ham (Aug 2024)

£40.2m - Cole Palmer from The Fabulous Artisans to Chelsea (Sep 2023)

£40m - Enzo Fernandez from Markian United to Stanley and Gracie United (Aug 2023)
£40m - Nemanja Matic from Mega Buck Bandits to Manchester United (Aug 2017)

£39.97m - Anthony Gordon from Nil Satis to Newcastle United (Jan 2023)

£36.1m - Alexis Mac Allister from The Fabulous Artisans to Liverpool (Jul 2023)

£36m - Tammy Abraham from The Cow-Faced Juniors to Roma (Aug 2021)

£35.8m - Conor Gallagher from Trusted By Millions to Atletico Madrid (Aug 2024)

£35.4m - Ivan Toney from Wateringhole Society to Al-Ahli (Aug 2024)

£35m - Elliot Anderson from Mega Buck Bandits to Nottingham Forest (Jul 2024)

£35m - Danny Drinkwater from Aardvark Abacus to Chelsea (Sep 2017)
£35m - Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain From Athletico Phoenix to Liverpool (Aug 2017)
£33.3m - Danilo from Nil Satis to Juventus (Aug 2019)
£31.5m - Thibaut Courtois from Fred West LG XI to Real Madrid (Aug 2018)
£30.06m - Ayoze Perez from Wheel Madrid to Leicester City (Jul 2019)

£30m - James Ward-Prowse from Stanley and Gracie United to West Ham (Aug 2023)
£30m - Xabi Alonso from Aardvark Abacus to Real Madrid (Aug 2009)
£30m - Luka Modric from Aardvark Abacus to Real Madrid (Aug 2012)
£30m - N'Golo Kante from Nil Satis to Chelsea (Jul 2016)
£30m - Moussa Sissoko from Wheel Madrid to Tottenham Hotspur (Aug 2016)

£29.99m - Cesc Fabregas from Mega Buck Bandits to Barcelona (Aug 2011)
£28.8m - Idrissa Gueye from Nil Satis to PSG (Jul 2019)
£28.13m - Steven Bergwijn from Markian Utd to Ajax (Jul 2022)

£27.36m - Alex Iwobi from Wateringhole Society to Everton (Aug 2019)

£27m - Chris Wood from Cheese Makers to Newcastle (Jan 2022)

£26.28m - Yves Bissouma from San Dimas to Tottenham (Jul 2022)

£26.28m - Fikayo Tomori from Trusted by Millions to AC Milan (Jul 2021)

£26.19m - Daniel James from The Fabulous Artisans to Leeds United (Aug 2021)
£26m - Mamadou Sakho from Real Muppets to Crystal Palace (Sep 2017)

£25.8m - Moise Kean from Nil Satis to Juventus (Jul 2023)

£25.7m - Scott McTominay from Real Muppets to Napoli (Aug 2024)

£25.7m - Falorin Balogun from The Fabulous Artisans to Monaco (Aug 2023)

£25.7m - Riyad Mahrez from San Dimas to Al-Ahli (Jul 2023)

£25.2m - Romelu Lukaku from Wheel Madrid to Napoli (Aug 2024)
£25m - Dimitri Payet from Claymore Athletic FC to Marseilles (Jan 2017)
£25m - Gio Wijnaldum from Claymore Athletic FC to Liverpool (Jul 2016)
£25m - Ramires from Trusted By Millions to Jiangsu Suning (Jan 2016)
£25m - Morgan Schneiderlin from Claymore Athletic to Manchester United (Jul 2015)
£25m - Adam Lallana from Trusted By Millions to Liverpool (Jul 2014)
£25m - Marc Overmars from Nil Satis to Barcelona (Jul 2000)
£25m - David Beckham from Fred West LG XI to Real Madrid (Jul 2003)

£24m - Arjen Robben from Fred West LG XI to Real Madrid (Aug 2007)

£23.6m - Aymeric Laporte from The Cow-Faced Juniors to Al Nassr (Aug 2023)

£23.4m - Allan St-Maximin from YTFIB to Al-Ahli (Jul 2023)

£23.4m - Rhian Brewster from Fred West LG XI to Sheffield United (Oct 2020)

£23m - Tyler Adams from Nil Satis to Bournemouth (Aug 2023)

£22.9m - Deniz Undav from Wateringhole Society to Stuttgart (Aug 2024)
£22.5m - Nicolas Anelka from Aardvark Abacus to Real Madrid (Aug 1999)

£22.1m - Alex Iwobi from Nil Satis to Fulham (Sep 2023)
£22m - Robert Sanchez from Cheese Makers to Stanley and Gracie United (Aug 2023)

£22m - Joleon Lescott from Nil Satis to Manchester City (Aug 2009)
£22m - Andre Schurrle from Fred West LG XI to Wolfsburg (Jan 2015)

£21.9m - Mason Greenwood from Claymore Athletic FC to Marseille (Jul 2024)

£21.5m - Gianluca Scamacca from Wheel Madrid to Atalanta (Aug 2023)
£21.4m - Alvaro Negredo from The Fabulous Artisans to Valencia (Jul 2015)

£21.1m - Joao Cancelo from San Dimas High School to Al-Hilal (Aug 2024)
£20.25m - Sebastian Haller from Real Muppets to Ajax (Jan 2021)

£20m - Sepp van den Berg from The Cow-Faced Juniors to Brentford (Aug 2024)

£20m - Sander Berge from Markian United to Fulham (Aug 2024)

£20m - Nathan Tella from Trusted By Millions to Bayer Leverkusen (Aug 2023)

£20m - Patson Daka from Real Muppets to Leicester (relegated) (Jul 2023)

£20m - Marko Arnautovic from YTFIB to West Ham (Jul 2017)
£20m - Odion Ighalo from Aardvark Abacus to Changchun Yatai (Jan 2017)
£20m - Morgan Schneiderlin from Aardvark Abacus to Everton (January 2017)
£20m - Kasper Schmeichel from Trusted By Millions to Claymore Athletic FC (Aug 2016)
£20m - Jordan Henderson from Claymore Athletic FC to Liverpool (Jun 2011)
£20m - Lassana Diarra from Fred West LG XI to Real Madrid (Jan 2009)

Week 2 Results

Five teams make it two wins out of two. Five make it none out of two.

Final Fantasy XI 2 v 0 Trusted By Millions
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 2 v 5 Athletico Phoenix
Mega Buck Bandits 0 v 2 Claymore Athletic FC
Real Muppets 3 v 2 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
San Dimas High School 1 v 0 Aardvark Abacus
The Cheese Makers 4 v 0 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
The Cow-Faced Juniors 2 v 1 The Dead Parrots
The Fabulous Artisans 3 v 0 YTFIB

	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	The Cow-Faced Juniors	2	2	0	0	7	1	6	6
2	Final Fantasy XI	2	2	0	0	5	1	4	6
3	The Fabulous Artisans	2	2	0	0	4	0	4	6
4	Claymore Athletic FC	2	2	0	0	6	3	3	6
5	Real Muppets	2	2	0	0	5	2	3	6
6	Aardvark Abacus	2	1	0	1	5	1	4	3
7	You Know Your Boston Rock FC	2	1	0	1	8	5	3	3
8	Athletico Phoenix	2	1	0	1	5	3	2	3
9	The Cheese Makers	2	1	0	1	5	3	2	3
10	San Dimas High School	2	1	0	1	4	4	0	3
11	The Dead Parrots	2	1	0	1	3	3	0	3
12	Mega Buck Bandits	2	0	0	2	1	4	-3	0
13	Trusted By Millions	2	0	0	2	0	4	-4	0
14	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	2	0	0	2	2	8	-6	0
15	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	2	0	0	2	2	10	-8	0
16	YTFIB	2	0	0	2	1	11	-10	0

I'll start with our new leaders. The CFJs finished best of all last season with seven straight wins and have carried that form into this campaign. Chris' team fell behind to a close range Damien Duff shot for the Parrots on three minutes but Michu latched on to a defensive error to square the game on the half hour. The winner came from one of last year's CFJ heroes, Danny Graham forcing in from six yards. If it's no surprise that the CFJs are top then you might have to look twice to make sure it's Final Fantasy's name in second. After seeing off the Cheese Makers last week Ceri's team followed up with a win over last season's runners-up. Final Fantasy were ahead on 20 minutes when Angel Rangel's cross-shot was blundered in by the Trusted 'keeper and Yaya Toure doubled the mead on 63 minutes after being left alone in the Trusted six yard box. Beef's team are the only one without a goal to their name this season.

The Artisans had a good tilt at the title last term and Ben is off and running again this year. His team are third after a comfortable 3-0 win over YTFIB, Martin Skrtel's unstoppable header being added to by cleans from Asmir Begovic and Kieran Gibbs. Julian has added Danny Simpson from The Cheese Makers for £6m to try to plug his leaky defence. Claymore Athletic, our reigning champions, are in the 100% club too. It was a couple of cleans, from Branislav Ivanovic and transfer-listed Jose Bosingwa, that gave Clive the win at Mega Bucks but the boss will be concerned that Wayne Rooney has joined Sergio Aguero in the treatment room. He would be without both of them until week five at the earliest.

The last of our two out of two teams are the Muppets. Ryan's team trailed twice to Nil Satis and had a man sent off for the second week running but a debut goal from Shinji Kagawa and a Carlos Tevez effort with 10 minutes left set up Ashley Cole for the winning clean. Tevez is looking like the player who was the league's top-scoring striker for two years running. Aardvark Abacus are sixth after Ady's team were edged out 1-0 by San Dimas. The only goal came just before the break from a towering back-post header from 5ft 8in Rafael. Despite this win my team dropped a place in the table. Work that out! Has this game got it in for me or what?

I'm sure Sheriff wasn't getting carried away but our week one leaders are down to seventh after a crushing 4-0 defeat at Rock Gardens, the new home of the Cheese Makers. Matthew's team opened the scoring with Marouane Fellaini's header and Franci di Santo and Benoit Assou-Ekotto added rare strikes before Andy Wilkinson finished things with a clean. Fred's been having a bit of a sort-out with his team but he's still got work to do judging by his second straight heavy defeat. The game against Athletico Phoenix was level at the break. Robin van Persie had opened his season's account and Bobby Zamora had made it two for the Phoenix while top buy at the August auction Eden Hazard an Fernando Torres had replied for Fred. The game turned on Nemanja Vidic's flukey, flying heeled own goal on 64 minutes and Brian cruised to victory from there.

San Dimas sign Kaka (not that one)

San Dimas High School have signed Swedish youngster Alex Kacaniklic from Fulham for 500k.

The San Dimas scouts have seen him play a couple of times and reported that "he looks like he might be good".

Leaving the Saints squad is keeper Craig Gordon.

Week 1 Results

Some big scores this week...  

Aardvark Abacus 5 v 0 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Athletico Phoenix 0 v 1 The Fabulous Artisans
Claymore Athletic FC 4 v 3 San Dimas High School
Final Fantasy XI 3 v 1 The Cheese Makers
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 0 v 5 The Cow-Faced Juniors
The Dead Parrots 2 v 1 Mega Buck Bandits
Trusted By Millions 0 v 2 Real Muppets
YTFIB 1 v 8 You Know Your Boston Rock FC

	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	CC	SP	Pts
1	You Know Your Boston Rock FC	1	1	0	0	8	1	7	0	0	3
2	Aardvark Abacus	1	1	0	0	5	0	5	0	0	3
3	The Cow-Faced Juniors	1	1	0	0	5	0	5	2	1	3
4	Final Fantasy XI	1	1	0	0	3	1	2	1	0	3
5	Real Muppets	1	1	0	0	2	0	2	2	1	3
6	Claymore Athletic FC	1	1	0	0	4	3	1	2	0	3
7	The Dead Parrots	1	1	0	0	2	1	1	1	0	3
8	The Fabulous Artisans	1	1	0	0	1	0	1	1	0	3
9	San Dimas High School	1	0	0	1	3	4	-1	2	0	0
10	Mega Buck Bandits	1	0	0	1	1	2	-1	1	0	0
11	Athletico Phoenix	1	0	0	1	0	1	-1	1	0	0
12	The Cheese Makers	1	0	0	1	1	3	-2	1	0	0
13	Trusted By Millions	1	0	0	1	0	2	-2	2	0	0
14	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	1	0	0	1	0	5	-5	0	0	0
15	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	1	0	0	1	0	5	-5	2	0	0
16	YTFIB	1	0	0	1	1	8	-7	0	0	0

As it's the first week of the season the report this week will take the shape of a list of firsts.

First goal - came from 2010/11 Player of the Season Branislav Ivanovic for Claymore on two minutes. San Dimas later led 3-2 but cleans from Ivanovic and David Luiz set the champions off with a win.
First rout - Boston Rock equalled their biggest ever league win, stuffing YTFIB 8-1 and are top of our fledgling table. Julian's previous biggest defeat was 7-0 to the same opponents in week 16 last season.
First blank - Fred West LG XI are the first team to record no goals and no cleans this season. Their opponents, Aardvark Abacus, left it late with a 90th minute goal and then four cleans to give Fred pain.
First brace - Was from the CFJs' Michu and a minute later Mladen Petric bagged his second for Chris in the win over Nil Satis. Kelvin Davis saved the first penalty of the season and all seven of Chris' contributions came from new signings.
First red card - Was Danny Agger of the Muppets. Conversely to Chris, Ryan named a side from last season, all 15 still being at the club, and despite Agger's red card finished 2-0 winners at last season's runners-up, Trusted.
First game entirely settled by cleans - Was the Artisans 1-0 win over Athletico Phoenix. Kieran Gibbs is credited with the winner, can he stay fit for more than a few weeks?
First goal for Rickie Lambert - Turned out to be the decider as the Parrots beat Mega Bucks 2-1. Will Lambert be a bargain at £10m or a flash in the pan? We shall see.
First game where I can't think of any firsts - Final Fantasy defeating the Cheese Makers 3-1. Shane Long missed a penalty for Matthew that would have put his side ahead and Ceri closed it out with a couple of cleans.

Paul Cartmel Memorial Trophy - 1st Round draw

At Monday's AGM the draw was made for the first round of the Paul Cartmel Memorial Trophy.

Holders The Fabulous Artisans will be confident of making progress against Mega Bucks but the tie of the round throws Boston Rock and the Aardvarks, the two most trophied teams in the league's history, together.

Final Fantasy XI v Athletico Phoenix
Mega Buck Bandits v The Fabulous Artisans
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum v Fred West LG XI
Real Muppets v San Dimas High School
The Cheese Makers v Claymore Athletic FC
The Dead Parrots v Trusted By Millions
You Know Your Boston Rock FC v Aardvark Abacus
YTFIB v The Cow-Faced Juniors

Games to be played w/c 29 September.

Welbeck makes San Dimas switch (and Evra leaves Fred too)

Danny Welbeck has left Fred West Landscape Gardening XI to join San Dimas High School in a club record deal.

Saints manager Peej forked out £19m for the Manchester-born England international and he'll be leading the line at Tesco Car Park Stadium.

Fred will be running the rule over the auction list and looking to see where the money can be invested to get the 2010/11 champions back in this year's title race.

(Update 12 August)

Patrice Evra has become the second high-profile player to leave Fred West in the last 24 hours. The French defender has made a £10m move to Athletico Phoenix.

Brian's team made a great run at the title last season but became over-reliant on Robin van Persie so this could be a shrewd signing by the Kingham Park club.