PCMT 1st Round Results - Holders crash out

Cheese Makers 1 v 3 The Fabulous Artisans

Claymore Athletic FC 1 v 1 The Cow-Faced Juniors

Markian United 3 v 0 Real Muppets

Mega Buck Bandits 1 v 3 Stanley Athletic FC

Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 3 v 2 The Wateringhole Society

San Dimas High School 0 v 5 Trusted By Millions

Wheel Madrid 2 v 1 Aardvark Abacus

YTFIB 2 v 5 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI

Replay

The Cow-Faced Juniors 1 v 2 Claymore Athletic FC

It’s traditional to start with the holders - but I won’t be doing that in the next round as the Muppets are gone. Reece James’ sending off just before the break gave a boost to Markian and they took advantage eight minutes after half-time with Rodri’s precise finish. Ian’s defence held out too and Luke Shaw and Davinson Sanchez added cleans to make it a shock 3-0 win. Last year's runners-up have gone too, Mega Bucks going down 3-1 to Stanley. Kai Havertz' flick header put Aaron in front on 22 minutes but Michail Antonio smashed in to level the game for Dave on 68 minutes. It took a VAR-awarded penalty to break the deadlock six minutes into injury time when James Ward-Prowse converted for Stanley and Harry Maguire had time for a clean to make it 3-1.

Big winners of the week were Trusted who took San Dimas apart 5-0. Gabriel Jesus got the first just before the interval but the star for Beef was new signing Conor Gallagher with two smart finishes in 13 second-half minutes. De Gea and Webster cleans put the gloss on the result. League leaders Fred also scored five, against YTFIB. Julian took the lead too, an Ilkay Gundogan header, but that advantage lasted only five minutes before a Ferran Torres equaliser. Mo Salah’s penalty and Torres again made it 3-1 before Alain St-Maximin crashed in on 90 minutes to reduce the deficit. That was a close as he got as Fred bagged cleans from Lloris and Wan-Bissaka to round out the win.

The Wateringhole Society haven’t won a PCMT game in the seven seasons since Kiran joined the league. The run continued with a 3-2 defeat to Nil Satis. Ivan Toney put the Society in front early on but goals from Demarai Gray, Dominic Calvert-Lewin from the spot and Marc Albrighton swung the game in Paul’s favour and Sergio Reguilon’s clean for Kiran was only a consolation. Cleans were the difference in the Cheese Makers/Artisans game. Kyle Walker’s first-half clean put Ben in front, Chris Wood poked in to level for Matthew on the hour only to see Patrick Bamford return the poke with interest four minutes from time and then Lucas Digne’s clean made it 3-1 for the Artisans.

The Aardvarks won’t be adding to their eight PCMT Final defeats after going down 2-1 to Wheel Madrid. Jamie Vardy found space to smash in on eight minutes, Ady’s team replied three minutes from the break when Son Heung-Min’s free-kick drifted past everybody. Callum Wilson’s diving header on 55 minutes put the Wheelmen into the last eight. One game still to sort out after Claymore and the CFJs drew 1-1. Teemu Pukki\s first goal in his second spell for Clive gave his team the lead, the Cows earned the replay with America’s Laporte’s clean.

In the replay - the returning Cristiano Ronaldo scored twice to see Claymore past the CFJs.

Week 2 Results - Three teams left with 100% records

Aardvark Abacus 1 v 2 Cheese Makers

Claymore Athletic FC 4 v 0 YTFIB

Real Muppets 3 v 1 Trusted by Millions

San Dimas High School 4 v 1 The Fabulous Artisans

Stanley Athletic FC 2 v 3 Fred West Landscape Gdg XI

The Cow-Faced Juniors 2 v 0 Markian United

The Wateringhole Society 3 v 2 Mega Buck Bandits

Wheel Madrid 0 v 2 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 

	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	2	2	0	0	9	2	7	6
2	Claymore Athletic FC	2	2	0	0	8	1	7	6
3	The Wateringhole Society	2	2	0	0	6	4	2	6
4	Mega Buck Bandits	2	1	0	1	6	4	2	3
5	Wheel Madrid	2	1	0	1	4	3	1	3
6	Aardvark Abacus	2	1	0	1	3	2	1	3
7	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	2	1	0	1	3	2	1	3
8	Stanley Athletic FC	2	1	0	1	3	3	0	3
9	Real Muppets	2	1	0	1	4	5	-1	3
10	The Cow-Faced Juniors	2	1	0	1	3	4	-1	3
11	Trusted By Millions	2	1	0	1	3	4	-1	3
12	Cheese Makers	2	1	0	1	3	5	-2	3
13	San Dimas High School	2	1	0	1	4	7	-3	3
14	The Fabulous Artisans	2	0	0	2	3	7	-4	0
15	Markian United	2	0	0	2	0	4	-4	0
16	YTFIB	2	0	0	2	0	5	-5	0

Only three points cover the top thirteen! And three teams have won both their games so far. Champions Fred saw off a tough effort from Stanley to stay top. Dele Alli didn’t score last season but struck from the spot after 10 minutes. Jack Grealish bundled in his first goal for the Gardeners 12 minutes later to make it 2-0. A great Mateusz Klich strike reduced the deficit before the break but Mason Greenwood’s second of the season put Fred out of reach. Claymore are second after a thumping 4-0 win over YTFIB. Recent signing Shane Duffy was Clive’s star with a goal and a clean, Julian’s team prop up the early table.

A second 3-2 win sees the Wateringhole in third. Mega Bucks were the victims this week - two late goals from Michail Antonio had Dave in front but Kiran’s team turned it round thanks to cleans from Ruben Dias and Sergio Reguilon. The Bandits remain top of the pile of teams with one win. Inconsistent Wheel Madrid went down 2-0 to Nil Satis. Dominic Calvert-Lewin opened the scoring from the spot and strike partner Demarai Gray added the second five minutes after the break.

Ady was on the wrong end of a 2-1 scoreline against the Cheese Makers despite taking an early lead through Diogo Jota. Danny Ings’ stunning bicycle kick equalised in first half injury time and Anwar El Ghazi gave Matthew the win from the penalty spot. The Muppets got their first win, 3-1 over Trusted. Reece James slammed in on 35 minutes to put Ryan ahead, Sadio Mane and Raheem Sterling added goals in a three minute spell to make it 3-0 rendering Raphinha’s excellent effort for Beef worthless.

The Cow-Faced Juniors beat Markian 2-0 courtesy of a goal and a clean from Aymeric Laporte. Like YTFIB, Ian’s team are yet to trouble the scoreboard. San Dimas bounced back from their week one hammering to beat the Artisans 4-1. Said Benrahma gave Ben the lead, Riyad Mahrez equalised for me six minutes from time and cleans from Rudiger, Cancelo and Mitchell gave me my first points of the season.

Week One Results - Champions make a statement

Cheese Makers 1 v 4 Wheel Madrid

Claymore Athletic FC 4 v 1 Real Muppets

Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 6 v 0 San Dimas High School

Markian United 0 v 2 Aardvark Abacus

Mega Buck Bandits 4 v 1 The Cow-Faced Juniors

Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 1 v 2 Trusted by Millions

The Fabulous Artisans 2 v 3 The Wateringhole Society

YTFIB 0 v 1 Stanley Athletic FC    

	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	1	1	0	0	6	0	6	3
2	Mega Buck Bandits	1	1	0	0	4	1	3	3
3	Claymore Athletic FC	1	1	0	0	4	1	3	3
4	Wheel Madrid	1	1	0	0	4	1	3	3
5	Aardvark Abacus	1	1	0	0	2	0	2	3
6	The Wateringhole Society	1	1	0	0	3	2	1	3
7	Trusted By Millions	1	1	0	0	2	1	1	3
8	Stanley Athletic FC	1	1	0	0	1	0	1	3
9	The Fabulous Artisans	1	0	0	1	2	3	-1	0
10	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	1	0	0	1	1	2	-1	0
11	YTFIB	1	0	0	1	0	1	-1	0
12	Markian United	1	0	0	1	0	2	-2	0
13	The Cow-Faced Juniors	1	0	0	1	1	4	-3	0
14	Real Muppets	1	0	0	1	1	4	-3	0
15	Cheese Makers	1	0	0	1	1	4	-3	0
16	San Dimas High School	1	0	0	1	0	6	-6	0

Last season Fred started with a 9-0 defeat and went on take the title. This time he starts with a 6-0 win - does that mean he wins the league easier or collapses spectacularly? We’ll find out in time. Bruno Fernandes was the Gardeners star with an opening day hat-trick (see Fact Corner with Rafa)  as they swept aside San Dimas. Mega Bucks are second on ‘counters’ ahead of two other teams with 4-1 wins. Dave’s side led 2-0 against the CFJs through new signing Sergi Canos and a belter from Luke Ayling, the Cows pulled one back through Tomas Soucek before Michail Antonio restored the two-goal margin and Caglar Soyuncu’s clean rounded things off.

Claymore will be delighted with their start, a 4-1 win over the Muppets. Ryan's team scored the first goal of the season, James Tarkowski from close in on two minutes, but it was all Claymore after that with Clive’s new signing Trevoh Chalobah picking up a goal and clean on debut, Wheel Madrid were our third 4-1 winners, at Cheese Makers. Callum Wilson headed Paul W in front on five minutes, Jamie Vardy flicked in to make it two before the break then club record signing Leon Bailey teed up John McGinn to make it three. Danny Ings pulled one back from the spot for Matthew before the returning Joel Matip completed the win for the Wheelmen.

The Aardvarks eased to a 2-0 win at Markian, Diogo Jota and Son Heung-Min with the goals. The Wateringhole Society won the family affair in front of the biggest crowd on opening weekend with a 3-2 victory at the Artisans. Christian Pulisic and Ismaila Sarr scored in the five minutes before the break, Roberto Firmino and Alex Mac Allister scored Ben’s goals to level at 2-2 before a Kostas Tsimikas clean gave Kiran all the points.

Trusted edged out Nil Satis 2-1. Richarlison’s goal for Beef was levelled by Dominic Calvert-Lewin’s diving header with nine minutes left and it was a Trent Alexander-Arnold clean sheet that won it for Trusted. Last game on Match of the Day was Stanley’s 1-0 clean sheet win at YTFIB. Aaron will be delighted that his counter came from fit-again Virgil van Dijk.