Week Seven Results

Claymore Athletic FC 1 v 3 Real Muppets
Final Fantasy XI 0 v 0 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 0 v 1 Dynamo Kev
Mega Buck Bandits 2 v 2 The Cow-Faced Juniors
San Dimas High School 0 v 6 Trusted By Millions
The Dead Parrots 1 v 5 22 Legged Groove Machine
York’s Returning Glory 1 v 2 Aardvark Abacus
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 2 v 0 The Fabulous Artisans

Wins for the top four.

WSFFL Rulebook - How to work out attendances

The first in a very occasional WSFFL rulebook series...

Each game in a WSFFL fixture series has an equation applied to it to determine the game's ranking.
The equation is;

(17-HT)x2 + (17-AT) = CF

HT = Home Team's position in table
AT = Away team's position in table
CF= Crowd Factor

Once the ranking (CF) is determined the top ranked match is given the highest Premier League attendance as its attendance, the second-ranked the second-highest and so on. In the event of any match rankings being equal the highest home team in the table will be given preference.

League matches take preference over Cup replays no matter what the CF ranking may be. The PCMT takes preference over the Charity Shield.

This weekend's top game is the Dead Parrots (in sixth) v The 22-Legged Groove Machine (in third) or;

(17-6)x2 + (17-3) = CF

Or;

22+14 = 36

League attendance money is divided 75/25 in favour of the home team. Cup attendance money is split 50/50. WSFFL spectators pay £12.50 for a 'ticket'.

Comrade Groover!

22 Legged Groove Machine striker Roman Pavlyuchenko has won a seat on a Russian regional council - but will not be ditching life at Birdbrook Road to take it up.

Standing as the sixth-listed candidate for Vladimir Putin's United Russia party, 66.33 per cent support for the party ensured Pavlyuchenko was elected in Stavropol krai, located in the far south west of Russia.

"Roman Pavlyuchenko is a source of pride to Stavropol," said Dmitriy Edelev, Stavropol parliament's United Russia leader.

"He leads a specialist Olympic Reserve School project in the region which is headed up by Duma speaker Boris Gryzlov, so the party representatives in the city decided to include him on the candidate list."

Deputy Pavyluchenko, as he's now obliged to be called, admitted he couldn't fully commit himself but promised to offer a "concrete contribution".

"Because of my profession it won't be easy for me to take part directly in the workings of the city council but I am ready to help with advice and with a concrete contribution to the development possibilities for exercise and sport," he said in the run-up to Sunday's election.

Pavlyuchenko's WSFFL manager, Rich Timms, sounded less than impressed when interviewed about the news on his record signing. "I've had a quiet word with young Pav and warned him about who pays his ****ing wages and to stop all this ****ing comrade bull****!

"It seems the only ****ing concrete contribution he making to the team at the moment is the ****ing concrete boots he appears to be ****ing wearing everytime he crosses that ****ing white line.

"If he doesn't ****ing sort himself out, tout-****ing-suite, and start ****ing banging them in to start paying back some of that ****ing huge fee that I coughed up, the only seat he can be sure of getting, is on my ****ing bench, in the ****ing stand or on the next ****ing plane back to Mother Russia!

"Whaddya mean I sound like ****ing Joe Kinnear? **** off!"

Latest Results

PCMT QF Replays

The Fabulous Artisans 1 v 4 Aardvark Abacus

You Know Your Boston Rock FC 5 v 2 22 Legged Groove Machine

The two 'big guns' head into the last four.

League Week Six

22 Legged Groove Machine 2 v 2 Claymore Athletic FC
Aardvark Abacus 2 v 0 Mega Buck Bandits
Dynamo Kev 2 v 2 Final Fantasy XI
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 0 v 5 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Real Muppets 2 v 0 San Dimas High School
The Cow-Faced Juniors 2 v 2 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
The Fabulous Artisans 1 v 4 The Dead Parrots
Trusted By Millions 2 v 1 York’s Returning Glory

Aardvark's lead up to four points, Final Fantasy are off the mark.

Brothers in Arms

It's not unusual for You Know Your Boston Rock FC to field an all-English XI but there was one curiosity about Sheriff's team this weekend.

It may well have been the first instance of brothers (Rio and Anton Ferdinand) lining up together on the same WSFFL team.

If anyone can think of any other occasion when this may have happened please drop me a line. Or perhaps you have other family connections in WSFFL teams past or present.

Over to you...

PCMT Semi-Final Draw

The Dead Parrots v 22 Legged Groove Machine or You Know Your Boston Rock FC

Aardvark Abacus or The Fabulous Artisans v The Cow-Faced Juniors

The matches are scheduled for the 28th & 29th October.

The Parrots are eyeing a first ever PCMT final.
The Groovers lifted the cup in 1998/99 but haven't made a final since.
Boston Rock want their fourth PCMT in six seasons.
Aardvark chase a fifth PCMT Final.
The Artisans look for a first PCMT Final at Ben's first attempt.
The team now known as the CFJ's won the PCMT twice at the start of the decade but have not made a final since.

Viduka no longer a Muppet

Real Muppets manager Ryan Moore has terminated the contract of Mark Viduka with immediate effect.

The Muppets boss paid £11.5 million for the not-so-mobile yet talented, nearly always injured front man but has grown impatient with his unavailability.

Viduka found the net five times last season but has fallen down the Muppets pecking order this term and this has led to speculation that the Aussie striker may now retire.

Ryan's parting shot on the man who picked up a WSFFL Championship medal in 2006/07 was: "bloke's been injured longer than I was...".

Paul Cartmell Memorial Trophy Quarter-final Results

22 Legged Groove Machine 2 v 2 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Aardvark Abacus 2 v 2 The Fabulous Artisans
Dynamo Kev 0 v 2 The Dead Parrots
York's Returning Glory 1 v 2 The Cow-Faced Juniors

Replays to take place 18-20 October.

Semi-final draw to be posted in due course.