Thursday 31 May 2018
2017/18 Co-Ord Round-up Part Six - 9th-12th
9th: Markian United (up four places on last season)
The new management team came in early in the season and brought about somewhat of a revival. Gylfi Sigurdsson didn't repay much of his (excessive?) fee but Harry Kane was still firing them in. The squad still needs a bit of tidying if the team are going to kick on.
What happened to last year's Star Player? He's very much still the Star Player.
Star Player: Harry Kane (26 goals)
10th: Mega Buck Bandits (up one)
On the surface it doesn't seem that much different from Dave but dig a bit deeper and the Bucks could be going places. The Aubameyang signing looks a good one while Zaha and Antonio both made big contributions. The boss now has the dosh to play at the pointy end of the transfer market too.
What happened to last year's Star Players? Antonio had an excellent season, Coutinho was sold for a league record £108m while Josh King didn't quite reach the same heights.
Star Player: Antonio Valencia (four goals, 15 cleans)
11th: Athletico Phoenix (down two)
Brian's woes were mostly caused by Diego Costa and Riyad Mahrez throwing toys out of their respective prams at points. Arnautovic, Wood and Cazorla all missed spells with injury while Father Time caught up with Ashley Williams and the young talents are still learning their trade.
What happened to last year's Star Player? Diego Costa went on strike and was sold in January.
Star Player: Jan Vertonghen (one goal, 13 cleans)
12th: Cheese Makers (same place)
A season of stagnation for Matthew whose campaign fizzled out. Glenn Murray excepted the strikers didn't produce enough while talisman Manuel Lanzini missed a chunk of games through injury. Young players like Robertson, Clyne and Richarlison offer some hope for the future.
What happened to last year's Star Player? Nathaniel Clyne was sidelined through injury.
Star Player: Glenn Murray (nine goals)
2017/18 Co-Ord Round-up Part Five - 13th-16th
My annual assessment of the WSFFL teams starts with the bottom four.
13th: Nil Satis Nisi Optimum (up one place on last season)
No trophy this season (defeat to the CFJs in the Charity Shield Final) but more points and up one place. The forwards struggled to make an impression so Paul will be looking to Theo Walcott and maybe the return of Ademola Lookman for goals next term.
What happened to last year's Star Player? He got even better and was this year's Star Player too.
Star Player: Marcos Alonso (five goals, 17 cleans)
14th: YTFIB (up two places)
First time off the bottom for five seasons for Julian. He did have eyes on the top ten for a bit but picked up just two wins in 2018. The defence did well (especially the keeper), the more attacking players much less so and need an overhaul.
What happened to last year's Star Player? Age and injury limited Zlatan to few appearances and an early exit.
Star Player: Nick Pope (ten cleans, one saved penalty)
15th: Wheel Madrid (down eight places)
A touch of 'difficult second season syndrome' for Paul. Jamie Vardy couldn't do it all on his own and big performers David Luiz and Adam Lallana barely featured while Gareth McAuley got old. The manager may have to consider the future of keeper Loris Karius among his transfer business.
What happened to last year's Star Player? David Luiz hardly got a kick.
Star Player: Jamie Vardy (18 goals)
16th: The Wateringhole Society (down one place)
Kiran's team actually won more games this season than last but a lot of draws turned into defeats. Big signing Davy Klaassen was a flop while Manolo Gabbiadini didn't look the same player after injury The manager will no doubt be working the market again looking for the hidden gems.
What happened to last year's Star Player? This was a disappointing campaign for Michael Keane.
Star Player: Marcus Rashford (seven goals)
13th: Nil Satis Nisi Optimum (up one place on last season)
No trophy this season (defeat to the CFJs in the Charity Shield Final) but more points and up one place. The forwards struggled to make an impression so Paul will be looking to Theo Walcott and maybe the return of Ademola Lookman for goals next term.
What happened to last year's Star Player? He got even better and was this year's Star Player too.
Star Player: Marcos Alonso (five goals, 17 cleans)
14th: YTFIB (up two places)
First time off the bottom for five seasons for Julian. He did have eyes on the top ten for a bit but picked up just two wins in 2018. The defence did well (especially the keeper), the more attacking players much less so and need an overhaul.
What happened to last year's Star Player? Age and injury limited Zlatan to few appearances and an early exit.
Star Player: Nick Pope (ten cleans, one saved penalty)
15th: Wheel Madrid (down eight places)
A touch of 'difficult second season syndrome' for Paul. Jamie Vardy couldn't do it all on his own and big performers David Luiz and Adam Lallana barely featured while Gareth McAuley got old. The manager may have to consider the future of keeper Loris Karius among his transfer business.
What happened to last year's Star Player? David Luiz hardly got a kick.
Star Player: Jamie Vardy (18 goals)
16th: The Wateringhole Society (down one place)
Kiran's team actually won more games this season than last but a lot of draws turned into defeats. Big signing Davy Klaassen was a flop while Manolo Gabbiadini didn't look the same player after injury The manager will no doubt be working the market again looking for the hidden gems.
What happened to last year's Star Player? This was a disappointing campaign for Michael Keane.
Star Player: Marcus Rashford (seven goals)
Wednesday 30 May 2018
2017/18 Co-Ord Round-up Part Four - the Value for Money (counters per £m) table
While I'm playing with spreadsheets let's see who got most counters for their money...
Very similar to the points per wages table with Ben top again. Dave led this one last year with a score of 33.40 if I remember rightly.
| Team | P | Counters | Ave Counters | Wage Bill (£m) | Cts per £m | ||
| 1 | The Fabulous Artisans | 30 | 95 | 3.17 | 4.896 | 19.40 | |
| 2 | YTFIB | 30 | 61 | 2.03 | 3.15525 | 19.33 | |
| 3 | Markian United | 30 | 77 | 2.57 | 4.2825 | 17.98 | |
| 4 | Real Muppets | 30 | 104 | 3.47 | 5.9055 | 17.61 | |
| 5 | San Dimas High School | 30 | 89 | 2.97 | 5.3835 | 16.53 | |
| 6 | Mega Buck Bandits | 30 | 82 | 2.73 | 5.0385 | 16.27 | |
| 7 | Fred West Landscape Gardening XI | 30 | 118 | 3.93 | 8.004 | 14.74 | |
| 8 | Aardvark Abacus | 30 | 104 | 3.47 | 7.759875 | 13.40 | |
| 9 | The Wateringhole Society | 30 | 48 | 1.60 | 3.66 | 13.11 | |
| 10 | Trusted By Millions | 30 | 91 | 3.03 | 7.0425 | 12.92 | |
| 11 | Claymore Athletic FC | 30 | 94 | 3.13 | 7.5045 | 12.53 | |
| 12 | Athletico Phoenix | 30 | 74 | 2.47 | 6.2865 | 11.77 | |
| 13 | The Cow-Faced Juniors | 30 | 106 | 3.53 | 9.9775 | 10.62 | |
| 14 | Cheese Makers | 30 | 60 | 2.00 | 6.15 | 9.76 | |
| 15 | Wheel Madrid | 30 | 53 | 1.77 | 5.51025 | 9.62 | |
| 16 | Nil Satis Nisi Optimum | 30 | 64 | 2.13 | 8.94375 | 7.16 |
Very similar to the points per wages table with Ben top again. Dave led this one last year with a score of 33.40 if I remember rightly.
2017/18 Co-Ord Round-up Part Three - the Value for Money (pts per £m) table
Who got most for their wage money last season points-wise?*
Mega Bucks were top last year - P-E Aubameyang's signing dragging Dave down the list this time.
The Artisans have been second and third in recent years so no surprise to see them at the sharp end. Only YTFIB and the and the CFJs (just) got more points for their money this time round.
*If my sums are right, they won't be far out.
| Team | P | Pts | Wage Bill (£m) | Pts per £m | |
| 1 | The Fabulous Artisans | 30 | 50 | 4.896 | 10.21 |
| 2 | YTFIB | 30 | 31 | 3.15525 | 9.82 |
| 3 | Markian United | 30 | 41 | 4.2825 | 9.57 |
| 4 | Real Muppets | 30 | 53 | 5.9055 | 8.97 |
| 5 | San Dimas High School | 30 | 47 | 5.3835 | 8.73 |
| 6 | Mega Buck Bandits | 30 | 38 | 5.0385 | 7.54 |
| 7 | Aardvark Abacus | 30 | 54 | 7.759875 | 6.96 |
| 8 | Fred West Landscape Gardening XI | 30 | 55 | 8.004 | 6.87 |
| 9 | Trusted By Millions | 30 | 46 | 7.0425 | 6.53 |
| 10 | Claymore Athletic FC | 30 | 47 | 7.5045 | 6.26 |
| 11 | The Cow-Faced Juniors | 30 | 61 | 9.9775 | 6.11 |
| 12 | Athletico Phoenix | 30 | 38 | 6.2865 | 6.04 |
| 13 | The Wateringhole Society | 30 | 22 | 3.66 | 6.01 |
| 14 | Cheese Makers | 30 | 33 | 6.15 | 5.37 |
| 15 | Wheel Madrid | 30 | 29 | 5.51025 | 5.26 |
| 16 | Nil Satis Nisi Optimum | 30 | 31 | 8.94375 | 3.47 |
Mega Bucks were top last year - P-E Aubameyang's signing dragging Dave down the list this time.
The Artisans have been second and third in recent years so no surprise to see them at the sharp end. Only YTFIB and the and the CFJs (just) got more points for their money this time round.
*If my sums are right, they won't be far out.
Tuesday 29 May 2018
Co-Ord Round-up Part Two - The 'counters' tables
Here's the table if that was all that mattered in the game was 'counters'. Don't worry it won't be. (Well, not on my watch!)
1. Fred West LG XI - 118 (one place higher than real table, nine more counters than last season)
2. The Cow-Faced Juniors -106 (one place lower, 10 fewer)
=3. Aardvark Abacus - 104 (same place, 22 more)
=3. Real Muppets - 104 (same place, 28 more)
5. The Fabulous Artisans - 95 (same place, seven more)
6. Claymore Athletic - 94 (same place, two fewer)
7. Trusted By Millions - 91 (one place higher, three more)
8. San Dimas High School - 89 (one place lower, ten fewer)
9. Mega Buck Bandits - 82 (one place higher, three more)
10. Markian United - 77 (one place lower, 26 more)
11. Athletico Phoenix - 74 (same place, seven fewer)
12. Nil Satis Nisi Optimum - 64 (one place higher, one fewer)
13. YTFIB - 61 (one place higher, one more)
14. Cheese Makers - 60 (two places lower, 15 fewer)
15. Wheel Madrid - 53 (same place, 29 fewer)
16. The Wateringhole Society - 48 (same place, eight fewer)
For the second season running the team with the most counters didn't win the league. Fred's 118 the highest for a non-winner (as far as I know.)
There were big improvements from the Aardvarks and Muppets while the new management team at Markian made a considerable difference t the counters total.
On the other hand there were double figure drops at San Dimas, Cheese and Wheels.
Then I started thinking about counters against. Is this a measure of luck perhaps?
So, for the first time...
1. The Cow-Faced Juniors - 68
2. Real Muppets - 74
3. Nil Satis Nisi Optimum - 76
=4. Aardvark Abacus - 78
=4. Cheese Makers - 78
=4. Claymore Athletic - 78
7. Markian United - 80
8. Trusted By Millions - 82
=9. Athletico Phoenix - 84
=9. The Fabulous Artisans - 84
=9. Wheel Madrid - 84
12. Mega Buck Bandits - 86
13. San Dimas High School - 88
14. YTFIB - 91
15. The Wateringhole Society - 94
16. Fred West LG XI - 95
The League winners had the fewest counters against. The runners-up had the most. Makes you think.
1. Fred West LG XI - 118 (one place higher than real table, nine more counters than last season)
2. The Cow-Faced Juniors -106 (one place lower, 10 fewer)
=3. Aardvark Abacus - 104 (same place, 22 more)
=3. Real Muppets - 104 (same place, 28 more)
5. The Fabulous Artisans - 95 (same place, seven more)
6. Claymore Athletic - 94 (same place, two fewer)
7. Trusted By Millions - 91 (one place higher, three more)
8. San Dimas High School - 89 (one place lower, ten fewer)
9. Mega Buck Bandits - 82 (one place higher, three more)
10. Markian United - 77 (one place lower, 26 more)
11. Athletico Phoenix - 74 (same place, seven fewer)
12. Nil Satis Nisi Optimum - 64 (one place higher, one fewer)
13. YTFIB - 61 (one place higher, one more)
14. Cheese Makers - 60 (two places lower, 15 fewer)
15. Wheel Madrid - 53 (same place, 29 fewer)
16. The Wateringhole Society - 48 (same place, eight fewer)
For the second season running the team with the most counters didn't win the league. Fred's 118 the highest for a non-winner (as far as I know.)
There were big improvements from the Aardvarks and Muppets while the new management team at Markian made a considerable difference t the counters total.
On the other hand there were double figure drops at San Dimas, Cheese and Wheels.
Then I started thinking about counters against. Is this a measure of luck perhaps?
So, for the first time...
1. The Cow-Faced Juniors - 68
2. Real Muppets - 74
3. Nil Satis Nisi Optimum - 76
=4. Aardvark Abacus - 78
=4. Cheese Makers - 78
=4. Claymore Athletic - 78
7. Markian United - 80
8. Trusted By Millions - 82
=9. Athletico Phoenix - 84
=9. The Fabulous Artisans - 84
=9. Wheel Madrid - 84
12. Mega Buck Bandits - 86
13. San Dimas High School - 88
14. YTFIB - 91
15. The Wateringhole Society - 94
16. Fred West LG XI - 95
The League winners had the fewest counters against. The runners-up had the most. Makes you think.
Monday 28 May 2018
Combined League Table - 2001-2018
The CFJs are up two places following their title win.
(Over 17 seasons around 69% of games have victors and 31% are drawn.)
(Over 17 seasons around 69% of games have victors and 31% are drawn.)
| Team | P | W | D | L | F | A | Diff | Pts | |
| 1 | Aardvark Abacus | 510 | 285 | 87 | 138 | 1177 | 764 | 413 | 942 |
| 2 | Claymore Athletic FC | 510 | 260 | 89 | 161 | 1215 | 918 | 297 | 869 |
| 3 | Trusted By Millions | 510 | 261 | 86 | 163 | 1090 | 837 | 253 | 869 |
| 4 | The Cow-Faced Juniors (1) | 510 | 244 | 98 | 168 | 1078 | 862 | 216 | 830 |
| 5 | Fred West Landscape Gardening XI | 510 | 243 | 96 | 171 | 1127 | 876 | 251 | 825 |
| 6 | Markian United (8) | 510 | 241 | 98 | 171 | 1093 | 859 | 234 | 821 |
| 7 | Real Muppets | 510 | 230 | 106 | 174 | 996 | 860 | 136 | 796 |
| 8 | The Fabulous Artisans (2) | 510 | 225 | 82 | 203 | 928 | 921 | 7 | 757 |
| 9 | San Dimas High School | 510 | 217 | 92 | 201 | 953 | 961 | -8 | 743 |
| 10 | Cheese Makers (6) | 510 | 187 | 100 | 223 | 790 | 916 | -126 | 661 |
| 11 | Athletico Phoenix (3) | 510 | 179 | 93 | 238 | 791 | 977 | -186 | 630 |
| 12 | Mega Buck Bandits | 510 | 168 | 95 | 247 | 730 | 917 | -187 | 599 |
| 13 | The Wateringhole Society (5) | 510 | 165 | 89 | 256 | 717 | 969 | -252 | 584 |
| 14 | Wheel Madrid (4) | 510 | 161 | 96 | 253 | 717 | 990 | -273 | 579 |
| 15 | Nil Satis Nisi Optimum | 510 | 146 | 96 | 268 | 703 | 977 | -274 | 534 |
| 16 | YTFIB (7) | 510 | 122 | 89 | 299 | 574 | 1075 | -501 | 455 |
| TOTAL | 8160 | 3334 | 1492 | 3334 | 14679 | 14679 | 0 | 11494 | |
| (1) includes results from Kylie Bumcheeks and Eleven Imaginary Boys | |||||||||
| (2) includes results from Prettier Than You and SCP Marmosets | |||||||||
| (3) includes results from Viola's Pier, Thommo's Titans, Melwood FC and Dynamo Kev | |||||||||
| (4) includes results from Short Straw Rovers and Final Fantasy XI | |||||||||
| (5) includes results from Elland Road Big Boys and The Dead Parrots | |||||||||
| (6) includes results from 22-Legged Groove Machine and Bassett Allsorts | |||||||||
| (7) formerly York's Returning Glory | |||||||||
| (8) includes results from You Know Your Boston Rock FC and FCK2 | |||||||||
Friday 25 May 2018
2017/18 Awards - £500k Team of the Season
(More of the same but with players from the bargain basement.)
GK: Jonas Lossl (Nil Satis)
DEF: Antonio Valencia (Mega Bucks), Phil Jones (Trusted), Chris Smalling (Markian), Stephen Ward (Real Muppets)
MID: Raheem Sterling (Real Muppets), Riyad Mahrez (Phoenix), Jesse Lingard (Artisans), Abdoulaye Doucoure (Claymore)
ATT: Harry Kane (Markian), Marcus Rashford (Wateringhole)/Wayne Rooney (Claymore)
Subs: Nick Pope (YTFIB); Gary Cahill (Trusted)/Shane Duffy (CFJs); Manuel Lanzini (Cheese Makers)/Luka Milivojevic (Muppets); Josh King (Mega Bucks)
Kane, Cahill, Lanzini, Mahrez and King were all in last year's squad. Is this the last time that we'll see Wayne Rooney in one of these lists?
Last year's selection
GK: Jonas Lossl (Nil Satis)
DEF: Antonio Valencia (Mega Bucks), Phil Jones (Trusted), Chris Smalling (Markian), Stephen Ward (Real Muppets)
MID: Raheem Sterling (Real Muppets), Riyad Mahrez (Phoenix), Jesse Lingard (Artisans), Abdoulaye Doucoure (Claymore)
ATT: Harry Kane (Markian), Marcus Rashford (Wateringhole)/Wayne Rooney (Claymore)
Subs: Nick Pope (YTFIB); Gary Cahill (Trusted)/Shane Duffy (CFJs); Manuel Lanzini (Cheese Makers)/Luka Milivojevic (Muppets); Josh King (Mega Bucks)
Kane, Cahill, Lanzini, Mahrez and King were all in last year's squad. Is this the last time that we'll see Wayne Rooney in one of these lists?
Last year's selection
2017/18 Awards - English Team of the Season
(Same rules as before but English players only)
GK: Nick Pope (YTFIB)
DEF: Kyle Walker (Artisans), Phil Jones (Trusted), Chris Smalling (Markian), Lewis Dunk (Aardvarks)
MID: Raheem Sterling (Muppets), Dele Alli (Fred West LG XI), Jesse Lingard (Artisans), Ryan Fraser (Cheese Makers)
ATT: Harry Kane (Markian), Jamie Vardy (Wheel Madrid)
Subs: Ben Foster (Markian); Gary Cahill (Trusted); Mark Noble (Mega Bucks); Glenn Murray (Cheese Makers)
And as it's a World Cup year let's pad the list out and get a squad of 23 with these...
Jamaal Lascelles (Aardvarks), Craig Dawson (Fred), James Tarkowski (Muppets), Aaron Cresswell (Claymore), Kieran Trippier (Aardvarks), Harry Maguire (Phoenix), James Milner (YTFIB), Kyle Naughton (Cheese) - (I've simply gone through the counters list and not worried about positions - which is why this looks a bit on the defensive side.)
Only Cahill, Alli, Kane, Vardy and Milner appeared in last year's selection. Are we all still optimistic about Russia?
Last year's selection
GK: Nick Pope (YTFIB)
DEF: Kyle Walker (Artisans), Phil Jones (Trusted), Chris Smalling (Markian), Lewis Dunk (Aardvarks)
MID: Raheem Sterling (Muppets), Dele Alli (Fred West LG XI), Jesse Lingard (Artisans), Ryan Fraser (Cheese Makers)
ATT: Harry Kane (Markian), Jamie Vardy (Wheel Madrid)
Subs: Ben Foster (Markian); Gary Cahill (Trusted); Mark Noble (Mega Bucks); Glenn Murray (Cheese Makers)
And as it's a World Cup year let's pad the list out and get a squad of 23 with these...
Jamaal Lascelles (Aardvarks), Craig Dawson (Fred), James Tarkowski (Muppets), Aaron Cresswell (Claymore), Kieran Trippier (Aardvarks), Harry Maguire (Phoenix), James Milner (YTFIB), Kyle Naughton (Cheese) - (I've simply gone through the counters list and not worried about positions - which is why this looks a bit on the defensive side.)
Only Cahill, Alli, Kane, Vardy and Milner appeared in last year's selection. Are we all still optimistic about Russia?
Last year's selection
2017/18 Awards - Team of the Season
(All awards are made on basis of contributions in all WSFFL competitions. Where there is a tie, contributions in league matches take precedence. Then I'll try to separate them by goals scored. Then perhaps by how many pictures newspapers have of them and their partner on holiday which they somehow think is sports news. If you see two or more names in a position I still couldn't split them.)
GK: Ederson (Real Muppets)
DEF: Marcos Alonso (Nil Satis), Nicolas Otamendi (Trusted), Antonio Valencia (Mega Bucks), Nacho Monreal (Aardvarks)
MID: Raheem Sterling (Muppets), Christian Eriksen (Artisans), Leroy Sane (Fred West LG XI), Son Heung-Min (Aardvarks)
ATT: Harry Kane (Markian), Mo Salah (Fred West LG XI)
Subs: Petr Cech (Aardvarks); Kyle Walker (Artisans); Eden Hazard (Fred)/Wilf Zaha (Mega Bucks); Sergio Aguero (Claymore)
Interesting that no players from our champions get in the side. Only Alonso, Kane and Hazard were in last year's selection.
Last year's line-up
GK: Ederson (Real Muppets)
DEF: Marcos Alonso (Nil Satis), Nicolas Otamendi (Trusted), Antonio Valencia (Mega Bucks), Nacho Monreal (Aardvarks)
MID: Raheem Sterling (Muppets), Christian Eriksen (Artisans), Leroy Sane (Fred West LG XI), Son Heung-Min (Aardvarks)
ATT: Harry Kane (Markian), Mo Salah (Fred West LG XI)
Subs: Petr Cech (Aardvarks); Kyle Walker (Artisans); Eden Hazard (Fred)/Wilf Zaha (Mega Bucks); Sergio Aguero (Claymore)
Interesting that no players from our champions get in the side. Only Alonso, Kane and Hazard were in last year's selection.
Last year's line-up
2017/18 Awards - Players of the Season
(Awards are made on basis of contributions in all WSFFL competitions. Where there is a tie, contributions in league matches take precedence.)
Player of the season, Attacker of the season, £500k Player of the Season, Young Player of the Season and Golden Boot:
Harry Kane (Markian United) - 24 goals
After two seasons as Young Player of the Season and two as £500k Player of the Season Kane finally took the top honour. Well, all the honours! The England skipper scored 26 times, a figure that's only been beaten twice (by one each time) since I started doing this in 2007/8. At least he can't win Young Player next time round!
Golden Gloves:
Ederson (Real Muppets) - 14 cleans, one saved penalty
A great signing for Ryan, £19m Ederson was a big part of the Muppets' title challenge and helped deliver the PCMT to his team. Looks to be a contender for this prize for years to come.
Defender of the season:
Marcos Alonso (Nil Satis) - five goals, 17 cleans
Apart from a run to the Charity Shield Final it wasn't a great season for Nil Satis. Alonso was a shining light in keeping Paul a safe distance from bottom spot.
Midfielder of the season:
Raheem Sterling (Real Muppets) - 14 goals
A big improvement from Ryan's midfielder this season who just edged out Christian Eriksen on more league goals scored. He doesn't look like he's finished improving either.
Signing of the Season:
Mo Salah (Fred West LG XI) - 23 goals
So good I felt the need to create a new award*! OK signing of the season is a bit of a blunt instrument, and just looks at the number of counters without factoring value for money, but all the same - 23 goals for £11m (what were the rest of doing!) is a brilliant return.
* That's not to say I might not go back and look at who might have won if I did this in previous seasons at some point.
List of winners
Player of the season, Attacker of the season, £500k Player of the Season, Young Player of the Season and Golden Boot:
Harry Kane (Markian United) - 24 goals
After two seasons as Young Player of the Season and two as £500k Player of the Season Kane finally took the top honour. Well, all the honours! The England skipper scored 26 times, a figure that's only been beaten twice (by one each time) since I started doing this in 2007/8. At least he can't win Young Player next time round!
Golden Gloves:
Ederson (Real Muppets) - 14 cleans, one saved penalty
A great signing for Ryan, £19m Ederson was a big part of the Muppets' title challenge and helped deliver the PCMT to his team. Looks to be a contender for this prize for years to come.
Defender of the season:
Marcos Alonso (Nil Satis) - five goals, 17 cleans
Apart from a run to the Charity Shield Final it wasn't a great season for Nil Satis. Alonso was a shining light in keeping Paul a safe distance from bottom spot.
Midfielder of the season:
Raheem Sterling (Real Muppets) - 14 goals
A big improvement from Ryan's midfielder this season who just edged out Christian Eriksen on more league goals scored. He doesn't look like he's finished improving either.
Signing of the Season:
Mo Salah (Fred West LG XI) - 23 goals
So good I felt the need to create a new award*! OK signing of the season is a bit of a blunt instrument, and just looks at the number of counters without factoring value for money, but all the same - 23 goals for £11m (what were the rest of doing!) is a brilliant return.
* That's not to say I might not go back and look at who might have won if I did this in previous seasons at some point.
List of winners
Monday 21 May 2018
2017/18 Co-Ord Round-up Part one - Transfer dealings
The usual quick round-up of where the fake money went.
Income
In 2016/17 we had a new record of just over £660m. 2017/18 said 'hold my pint' and smashed that by more than £160m. Yep, £824.76m is the new benchmark.
Three teams brought in over £100m where I believe that had only happened twice before. The new single team record is now £151m.
Expenditure
Another record. Last year's £700m record was another shattered, this time to the tune of £131m.
Three teams spent over £85m - 11 of the 16 spent more than £40m.
Overall
So all that money swimming about and the league only saw a loss of just over £6m. This is a record low as this list shows.
2006/07 -£257.9m
2007/08 -£207.1m
2008/09 -£146.9m
2009/10 -£11m
2010/11 -£146.5m
2011/12 -£205.6m
2012/13 -£200.8m
2013/14 -£160.5m
2014/15 -£140.2m
2015/16 -£146.1m
2016/17 -£39.5m
2017/18 -£6.2m
Four teams made profits in excess of £35m, one team lost over £50m and three more had transfer deficits of between £25m and £35m.
Income
In 2016/17 we had a new record of just over £660m. 2017/18 said 'hold my pint' and smashed that by more than £160m. Yep, £824.76m is the new benchmark.
Three teams brought in over £100m where I believe that had only happened twice before. The new single team record is now £151m.
Expenditure
Another record. Last year's £700m record was another shattered, this time to the tune of £131m.
Three teams spent over £85m - 11 of the 16 spent more than £40m.
Overall
So all that money swimming about and the league only saw a loss of just over £6m. This is a record low as this list shows.
2006/07 -£257.9m
2007/08 -£207.1m
2008/09 -£146.9m
2009/10 -£11m
2010/11 -£146.5m
2011/12 -£205.6m
2012/13 -£200.8m
2013/14 -£160.5m
2014/15 -£140.2m
2015/16 -£146.1m
2016/17 -£39.5m
2017/18 -£6.2m
Four teams made profits in excess of £35m, one team lost over £50m and three more had transfer deficits of between £25m and £35m.
Sunday 13 May 2018
Week 30 Results and final table
Fred steals in for second.
Athletico Phoenix 4 v 2 Markian United
Claymore Athletic FC 1 v 1 The Wateringhole Society
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 0 v 1 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Real Muppets 1 v 3 Mega Buck Bandits
San Dimas High School 5 v 1 YTFIB
The Cow-Faced Juniors 2 v 2 The Fabulous Artisans
Trusted By Millions 3 v 3 Cheese Makers
Wheel Madrid 3 v 2 Aardvark Abacus
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The CFJs have fallen across the line somewhat and a draw with the Artisans means it’s four without a win for the champs. An unmarked Badou N’diaye chipped Chris and Co. into a first half lead but Ben turned it round when Lukas Fabianski saved a penalty and Patrick van Aanholt rounded the keeper to slot his team in front. Aymeric Laporte got the clean that shared the points. There’s no top three place for Ben this year but he does hit the 50-point mark again.
Fred was only second in the table for two weeks this season - the first, and more importantly the last. Other results combined with his win at Nil Satis handed the runners-up spot to last years champ’s. Mo Salah’s smart turn and shot proved enough for the Gardeners but Paul S could have got on terms if Xherdan Shaqiri hadn’t wasted a chance from the spot. Despite his investment in the likes of Danilo and Benjamin Mendy it’s bottom four again for Paul.
Defeat for the Aardvarks at Wheel Madrid dropped Ady to third. Jamie Vardy’s flick header on four minutes got Paul W off to great start and the striker smashed in to double the lead 17 minutes from time. Oumar Niasse pulled one back straight away but Callum Wilson found an injury time goal to take it away from the Aardvarks. It’s been a difficult second season for Wheels - Ady will be satisfied with a Cup win.
The Muppets lost just five games all season but a final day loss to Mega Bucks dropped Ryan out of the top three. That man Aubameyang slid in to put Dave in front after 38 minutes but a stunning Kelechi Iheanacho strike levelled it up just after the break. The Bucks won it in the space of four minutes - Wilf Zaha cushioning in a cross at the near post on 70 and Josh King fired in to the top corner on 74. Dave lost just one of his last nine - dark horse for next season? Ryan has the PCMT in his cabinet but may be wondering what might have been.
Claymore ended the season in sixth after finishing with a draw against The Wateringhole Society. Kiran would have wanted more out of Marcus Rashford this season but the striker did put him ahead on 34 minutes, calmly sidefooting under the keeper. Clive had to wait for a John Stones clean to rescue a point. Clive’s ended in the same place as last year, Kiran has won more matches than last season but finished bottom.
San Dimas waited for the last game of the season to produce their biggest win, YTFIB were the victims. It was all down to my defence too. Dejan Lovren powered in a header on 40 minutes but Julian was on terms a minute later when Peter Crouch stooped to head in his only goal of the season. An unlucky deflection off Christian Fuchs put me back in front and then Lovren, Eric Bailly and Paul Dummett added cleans so that I finish in my traditional 5th-9th place. Julian isn’t bottom for the first time in five years.
Trusted round off the top half of the table after a 3-3 draw with Cheese Makers. Good game this - Manuel Lanzini found the bottom corner to put Matthew ahead six minutes before half-time, Erik Lamela tapped in to level four minutes after. Another close-range Lamela finish had Beef in front on the hour but Lanzini again and then Andrew Robertson put Matthew’s team ahead with five minutes left. Gabriel Jesus earned Beef a point with a calm lob deep into injury time. Matthew’s season fizzled out (eight without a win) Trusted’s never really got going.
Markian win the top of the bottom half championship despite defeat to Athletico. Harry Kane added two more goals to his total but they came wither side of thumping strikes by Riyad Mahrez and Marko Arnautovic and a fortunate finish by Chris Wood, Virgil van Dijk’s clean secured the points for Brian who will be pleased to see the back of this season after his Diego Costa problems. Mark and Ian will get their collective heads to gather to see how they can build on their first campaign.
Athletico Phoenix 4 v 2 Markian United
Claymore Athletic FC 1 v 1 The Wateringhole Society
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 0 v 1 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Real Muppets 1 v 3 Mega Buck Bandits
San Dimas High School 5 v 1 YTFIB
The Cow-Faced Juniors 2 v 2 The Fabulous Artisans
Trusted By Millions 3 v 3 Cheese Makers
Wheel Madrid 3 v 2 Aardvark Abacus
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The CFJs have fallen across the line somewhat and a draw with the Artisans means it’s four without a win for the champs. An unmarked Badou N’diaye chipped Chris and Co. into a first half lead but Ben turned it round when Lukas Fabianski saved a penalty and Patrick van Aanholt rounded the keeper to slot his team in front. Aymeric Laporte got the clean that shared the points. There’s no top three place for Ben this year but he does hit the 50-point mark again.
Fred was only second in the table for two weeks this season - the first, and more importantly the last. Other results combined with his win at Nil Satis handed the runners-up spot to last years champ’s. Mo Salah’s smart turn and shot proved enough for the Gardeners but Paul S could have got on terms if Xherdan Shaqiri hadn’t wasted a chance from the spot. Despite his investment in the likes of Danilo and Benjamin Mendy it’s bottom four again for Paul.
Defeat for the Aardvarks at Wheel Madrid dropped Ady to third. Jamie Vardy’s flick header on four minutes got Paul W off to great start and the striker smashed in to double the lead 17 minutes from time. Oumar Niasse pulled one back straight away but Callum Wilson found an injury time goal to take it away from the Aardvarks. It’s been a difficult second season for Wheels - Ady will be satisfied with a Cup win.
The Muppets lost just five games all season but a final day loss to Mega Bucks dropped Ryan out of the top three. That man Aubameyang slid in to put Dave in front after 38 minutes but a stunning Kelechi Iheanacho strike levelled it up just after the break. The Bucks won it in the space of four minutes - Wilf Zaha cushioning in a cross at the near post on 70 and Josh King fired in to the top corner on 74. Dave lost just one of his last nine - dark horse for next season? Ryan has the PCMT in his cabinet but may be wondering what might have been.
Claymore ended the season in sixth after finishing with a draw against The Wateringhole Society. Kiran would have wanted more out of Marcus Rashford this season but the striker did put him ahead on 34 minutes, calmly sidefooting under the keeper. Clive had to wait for a John Stones clean to rescue a point. Clive’s ended in the same place as last year, Kiran has won more matches than last season but finished bottom.
San Dimas waited for the last game of the season to produce their biggest win, YTFIB were the victims. It was all down to my defence too. Dejan Lovren powered in a header on 40 minutes but Julian was on terms a minute later when Peter Crouch stooped to head in his only goal of the season. An unlucky deflection off Christian Fuchs put me back in front and then Lovren, Eric Bailly and Paul Dummett added cleans so that I finish in my traditional 5th-9th place. Julian isn’t bottom for the first time in five years.
Trusted round off the top half of the table after a 3-3 draw with Cheese Makers. Good game this - Manuel Lanzini found the bottom corner to put Matthew ahead six minutes before half-time, Erik Lamela tapped in to level four minutes after. Another close-range Lamela finish had Beef in front on the hour but Lanzini again and then Andrew Robertson put Matthew’s team ahead with five minutes left. Gabriel Jesus earned Beef a point with a calm lob deep into injury time. Matthew’s season fizzled out (eight without a win) Trusted’s never really got going.
Markian win the top of the bottom half championship despite defeat to Athletico. Harry Kane added two more goals to his total but they came wither side of thumping strikes by Riyad Mahrez and Marko Arnautovic and a fortunate finish by Chris Wood, Virgil van Dijk’s clean secured the points for Brian who will be pleased to see the back of this season after his Diego Costa problems. Mark and Ian will get their collective heads to gather to see how they can build on their first campaign.
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