Week 16 Results

Rearranged Week 15 matches

Claymore Athletic FC 3 v 4 The Fabulous Artisans
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 3 v 1 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

Week 16 

Athletico Phoenix 0 v 2 Aardvark Abacus
Bassett Allsorts 4 v 0 York’s Returning Glory
Claymore Athletic FC 0 v 3 Final Fantasy XI
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 2 v 4 The Fabulous Artisans
Real Muppets 4 v 1 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
San Dimas High School 0 v 2 Trusted By Millions
The Cow-Faced Juniors 4 v 1 Mega Buck Bandits
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 1 v 0 The Dead Parrots

After half a season the Fred unbeaten run is over. The Artisans finally getting a tune out of Mario Balotelli who hit another hat-trick (coincidentally with two penalties, like the last game!) and after Mame Diouf added another Ben’s team just resisted a Fred fightback. Fred has also lost top spot. That New Year’s honour goes to Boston Rock who just edged out their upcoming Cup First Round opponents the Dead Parrots thanks to a JT clean.

Quietly creeping into the title picture are the CFJs who turned round a one goal deficit to Mega Bucks and won thanks to Aaron Lennon and Gareth Bale goals and John Pantsil and Bale cleans. Trusted are also still on the fringes of the title picture. Beef’s team ending the San Dimas eight-game unbeaten run courtesy of a couple of cleans.

Another team who took the clean sheet route to victory this week were Aardvark Abacus whose win keeps the Phoenix rooted to the bottom. Ady is back in the top half. The Muppets swept Nil Satis aside to stay within ten points of the leaders. Joleon Lescott may be finally finding some form and Florent Malouda was on target for the first time in a long time.

Two big wins down in the lower reaches of the table this week. Bassett Allsorts battered York’s with four cleans to record Ben’s biggest win of the season. Collapsing Claymore are now in 15th after capitulating 3-0 to Final Fantasy. Chris Baird putting Ceri two up in ten minutes and Andrei Arshavin completing the stroll before half-time.

Week 15 Results

Aardvark Abacus 1 v 1 The Dead Parrots
Athletico Phoenix 0 v 2 Mega Buck Bandits
Claymore Athletic FC P v P The Fabulous Artisans
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 5 v 2 Trusted By Millions
Real Muppets 2 v 1 Bassett Allsorts
The Cow-Faced Juniors 1 v 0 York’s Returning Glory
San Dimas High School 2 v 2 Final Fantasy XI
You Know Your Boston Rock FC P v P Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

Fred gets to the halfway point of the season unbeaten. Braces from Rafael van der Vaart and Dimitar Berbatov seeing off Trusted Robert Huth-led fightback. Five points the lead now as Boston Rock's game fell victim to the weather.

CFJs up to third after edging Yorks's 1-0. Carlos Tevez was Ryan's hero again with the two goals that beat Bassett.

Aardvark's PCMT disappointment carried into their league fixture with the Parrots - honours even in that match. An entertaining draw between San Dimas and Final Fantasy with Johan Elmander scoring late to deny Carlton Cole and Ceri all three points.

Still no joy for the Phoenix. Brian's side still firing blanks and beaten by two second-half Mega Buck goals. Claymore v Artisans was a late call-off and Clive's team now drop to fourteenth.

PCMT Final

Aardvark Abacus 1
Hughes 11

v
(0)

You Know Your Boston Rock FC 2
Carroll 72
R.Ferdinand [c]

Aardvarks: Cech; Cuellar, Hughes, Kompany, Foley; M.Davies, Scholes, S.Davies, Modric; Gyan, Chamakh       Subs: Szczesny; Upson; Zhirkov; Kalinic
Boston Rock: Robinson; Taylor, Terry, Richards, Ferdinand; Wilshere, Lampard, Nolan, Dunn; Defoe, Carroll           Subs: Bunn; Smalling; Milner; Bent

Wembley Stadium - Attendance 90,000

A packed house at Wembley to see the third straight PCMT Final between old rivals Aardvark Abacus and Boston Rock. Ady's team, smarting from two straight PCMT Final defeats were fired up from the off and had Sheriff's men on the back foot after just 11 minutes.

Aaron Hughes doesn't get many but he headed in a Simon Davies corner to give the Aardvarks the ideal start. It took Boston Rock an hour to get a foothold in the game and they were level when Andy Carroll, one of the signings of the season surely, equalised with a header.

That set up a nervy finale with neither team looking like making a breakthrough but it was Boston Rock's Rio Ferdinand who notched the deciding clean sheet and delivered a fourth successive Paul Cartmell Memorial Trophy to his grateful manager.

Hats off to Sheriff, commiserations Ady.

PCMT Final - The Contenders

Aardvark Abacus

Current League Position: 9th

Route to the Final;
1st Round - 2-0 v Athletico Phoenix
Quarter-Final - 2-1 v Fred West LG XI (after 2-2  draw)
Semi-Final - 5-3 v The Fabulous Artisans

Recent Results;
Week 14 - 1-1 v The Fabulous Artisans
Week 13 - 1-1 v Fred West LG XI
Week 12 - 2-0 v Athletico Phoenix
Week 11 - 1-6 v Boston Rock

You Know Your Boston Rock FC

Current League Position: 2nd

Route to the Final;
1st Round - 3-1 v York's Returning Glory
Quarter-Final - 1-0 v The Dead Parrots
Semi-Final - 2-0 v Nil Satis

Recent Results;
Week 14 - 2-2 v Mega Buck Bandits
Week 13 - 2-1 v Trusted By Millions
Week 12 - 2-0 v The Dead Parrots
Week 11 - 6-1 v Aardvark Abacus

Recent meetings between the teams;

2010/11 Week 11 - Boston Rock 6 Aardvark Abacus 1
2009/10 Week 28 - Boston Rock 5 Aardvark Abacus 2
2009/10 PCMT Final - Boston Rock 1 Aardvark Abacus 0
2009/10 Week 2 - Aardvark Abacus 2 Boston Rock 2
2008/9 Week 19 - Aardvark Abacus 2 Boston Rock 1
2008/9 PCMT Final - Aardvark Abacus 2 Boston Rock 3
2008/9 Week 3 - Boston Rock 4 Aardvark Abacus 5
2007/8 Week 20 - Aardvark Abacus 2 Boston Rock 2
2007/8 FAC R1 - Boston Rock 3 Aardvark Abacus 1
2007/8 Week 4 - Boston Rock 0 Aardvark Abacus 1

Week 14 Results

Rearranged League Week Number: 13
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 1 v 1 Aardvark Abacus

League Week Number: 14

Bassett Allsorts 1 v 1 Claymore Athletic FC
Final Fantasy XI 1 v 2 The Cow-Faced Juniors
Mega Buck Bandits 2 v 2 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 1 v 4 San Dimas High School
The Dead Parrots 0 v 3 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
The Fabulous Artisans 1 v 1 Aardvark Abacus
Trusted By Millions 3 v 0 Athletico Phoenix
York’s Returning Glory 2 v 0 Real Muppets

Everybody back on level games played now, Fred still leads the way. His rearranged match was a tight affair and he needed Didier Drogba's fumbled shot with 20 minutes to go to cancel out Dirk Kuyt's deflected effort for Ady.

To week 14 - Fred in much better form this week brushing aside the Dead Parrots 3-0. Drogba was on target again before cleans from Evra and Vidic rounded out the win. It was a tougher week for Boston Rock and a 2-2 draw against Mega Bucks sees Sheriff two points adrift. Kevin Nolan poked home on 15 minutes from Andy Carroll's knockdown and Carroll's rapier-like 25-yarder on 90 minutes doubled the advantage the 'Sky Heroes'. Dave hit straight back through Alcaraz and Ward cleans to deprive his opponents of two points.

It's seven points from the top two to the next two. Trusted beat bottom-placed Phoenix 3-0, Park Ji-Sung Park breaking the deadlock with a header just before the break and a couple of cleans finishing Brian off. The CFJs are behind Beef's team on goal difference after a win at Final Fantasy. Yaya Toure had slammed Ceri's team ahead on the half hour but cleans from Nedum Onuoha and John Pantsil turned the tables in Chris' favour.

Are the Muppets out of the title race already? 12 points behind, six defeats already, an unsettled Carlos Tevez, Ryan has his hands full. His team went down limply at York's this week. Martin Olsson left with a clean just after the hour and with ten minutes left Joey Barton reacted quicker than the Muppets defence to finish the game off. Julian is only one point off his total of the 2006/7 season. The Artisans and the Aardvarks fought out a tough mid-table draw. Stuart Downing struck first for Ben but another deflected Dirk Kuyt shot meant the game finished level.

The Aardvarks are back in the bottom half as San Dimas snapped out of their run of draws in emphatic style against San Dimas to overtake them. All the action came late. Paul Scharner powered a header in on 90 minutes, Heurelho Gomes immediately struck back for Paul but I had a few clean sheets up my sleeve. Claymore are still stuck in their rut though after a draw at Bassett Allsorts. Clive's team fell behind to Roman Pavlyuchenko on 15 minutes but Wayne Rooney had a great chance to equalise but blazed his penalty over. It took a clean from recent signing Phil Bardsley to get Clive a point.

FA Cup 1st Round Draw

Athletico Phoenix v San Dimas High School
Bassett Allsorts v Trusted By Millions
Final Fantasy XI v Claymore Athletic FC
Real Muppets v Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
The Cow-Faced Juniors v Mega Buck Bandits
The Dead Parrots v You Know Your Boston Rock FC
The Fabulous Artisans v Aardvark Abacus
York’s Returning Glory v Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

A tricky trip down under for the holders to face their bogey team The Parrots. A heavyweight clash between the Muppets and Fred too.

Games to be played over the weekend of 8th January.

Week 13 Results

Athletico Phoenix 0 v 2 The Dead Parrots
Bassett Allsorts 0 v 2 The Fabulous Artisans
Claymore Athletic FC 2 v 4 York’s Returning Glory
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI P v P Aardvark Abacus
Real Muppets 3 v 0 Final Fantasy XI
The Cow-Faced Juniors 3 v 0 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
San Dimas High School 2 v 2 Mega Buck Bandits
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 2 v 1 Trusted By Millions

One game didn't survive the weather this week. Curiously it was in South Africa! I wasn't aware they were having snow too. Fred called for a postponement, Aardvarks manager Ady called the decision "spineless" (that's the bit I can re-print!) That'll add a bit of spice ahead of the rearranged fixture this week. To the games that were played then and a change of leadership. Sheriff knew that a win would take his team top and he delivered. After falling behind to Robert Huth's deflected free-kick Boston Rock were soon level through David Dunn's header which the linesman judged to have crossed the line. The second-half was tight but decided by Glen Johnson's clean, England's right-back finally showing some form.

Trusted hang on to third place only on goal difference after another CFJs victory. Chris's team breezed past Nil Satis, Matt Etherington slotting home on the half-hour to give the Juniors the advantage which they ultimately built on with a couple of cleans. The Muppets were also 3-0 winners, Ryan's team beating the lowly Final Fantasy. Ryan's talisman Carlos Tevez drilled his team ahead on four minutes, Danny Collins unfortunately poked into his own net on thirty and a rare Joleon Lescott clean completed the win.

No respite for Athletico Phoenix as they fell 2-0 at home to the Parrots. Dean needed clean sheets from Kolo Toure and Joe Hart to beat Brian's bottom placed side who are desperately short of goals. It was clean sheets for the Artisans too in their victory over Bassett Allsorts. Gael Givet and Martin Skrtel with the scores that put Ben into seventh, bouncing back well after his mauling last week.

San Dimas are unbeaten in five games now - five straight draws unfortunately for me! Mega Bucks were 2-0 up through Ngog and Nelsen but Peter Odemwingie grabbed a late brace to get me a point. Last but certainly not least, is York's first win in seven. That was against Claymore who have picked up just one point in fifteen. The twinkle-toed Samir Nasri, one of the players of the season so far, scored twice to jump Julian above his opponents and into eleventh.

The Postponement Rule

If a WSFFL manager names a starting XI for a game, of which more than half the players are NOT playing due to postponed Premiership fixtures, then that WSFFL game is postponed.

The postponed game is rescheduled to be played at the next available opportunity, I.e. the following scheduled WSFFL fixtures, doubled up with the relevant teams' scheduled fixtures

Week 12 Results

Aardvark Abacus 2 v 0 Athletico Phoenix
Final Fantasy XI 2 v 2 Claymore Athletic FC
Mega Buck Bandits 2 v 4 The Cow-Faced Juniors
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 2 v 1 Real Muppets
The Dead Parrots 0 v 2 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
The Fabulous Artisans 1 v 9 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Trusted By Millions 2 v 2 San Dimas High School
York’s Returning Glory 1 v 2 Bassett Allsorts

Let's start with an if. If the Artisans had beaten Fred this week Ben would have cut the gap between the two teams to seven points and won Manager of the Month. You win nothing with ifs. Trailing 2-1 at half-time the Artisans were put to the sword by Fred's team, an inspired Dimitar Berbatov leading the way. The Bulgarian doubled his season's goal tally from five to ten in little over an hour. Everything Fred touched turned to gold this week. His team scored two of the four clean sheets that took place and Martin Skrtel slid in one of the two own goals. Crazy stuff. Boston Rock are hanging on to Fred's coat-tails after victory over 'bogey team' Dead Parrots. Sheriff had been held until the last ten minutes but then Micah Richards threw an outrageous dummy before firing home from the edge of the box and Jack Wilshere stooped to head his first WSFFL goal at the far post as time ran out.

Trusted are in third but lost ground with a 2-2 draw against San Dimas. Stephen Hunt bundled in his first goal for my team with nine minutes left to put me 2-1 up but a flukey deflection of Sylvan Distin six minutes later robbed me of a couple of points. The CFJs are three points further back after a come-from-behind victory at Mega Bucks. Dave's team were 2-1 up through headers by Evatt and Varney but a Samba header with seven minutes left levelled things and then Matt Etherington and a first of the season from Aaron Lennon in stoppage time gave Chris the win.

The Muppets have dropped away to fifth after a run of four points out of 18. It was another defeat for Ryan despite Chris Brunt's exquisite 'postage stamp' free-kick against Nil Satis. Tim Cahill (surprise!) with a header (surprise!) squared the game before half-time and then Lars Jacobsen got the winning clean for Paul shortly after half-time. The Aardvarks are back in the top half after beating the Phoenix 2-0. Brian's team held out until 11 minutes into the second-half when Marouane Chamakh beat the offside trap and slid home. An intricate passing move in the last minute teed up Mark Davies to finish the job and keep Brian on the bottom.

Bassett Allsorts beat York's to make it three wins out of four for Ben in November. Andy Wilkinson got the deciding clean just after the hour after Salomon Kalou (for Ben) and Samir Nasri (for Julian) had both scored in first-half stoppage time. Last up this week Final Fantasy's draw against Claymore. Seb Larsson's first goal of the year and then Andrei Arshavin put Ceri two-up before the break but Clive must have got stuck into his team at half-time. Two recent signings, Victor Obinna and Tom Cleverley (well-placed effort that one), both scored their first Claymore goals to bag their team's first point of the month.

Team Stats 2009/10

Sometimes I think I need help to deal with my stats addiction. Someone else must be interested...mustn't they?

Highest score

All Comps - Trusted By Millions 9 Claymore Athletic FC 2 (FAC R1)
League - Real Muppets 8 The Cow-Faced Juniors 1 (League Week 4)

Biggest margin of victory

Trusted By Millions 9 Claymore Athletic FC 2 (FAC R1)
Real Muppets 8 The Cow-Faced Juniors 1 (League Week 4)
Fred West LG XI 7 The Dead Parrots 0 (League Week 5)

Highest scoring match

Trusted By Millions 9 Claymore Athletic FC 2 (FAC R1)
Boston Rock 7 The Fabulous Artisans 4 (League Week 10)
Boston Rock 6 Fred West LG XI 5 (League Week 25)

Unbeaten run

All comps - 13 games - Boston Rock (weeks 20-30 plus FAC semi and final)
League - 11 games - Boston Rock (weeks 20-30)

Without a win

All comps - 9 games - Bassett Allsorts (weeks 15-22 plus FAC R1), San Dimas High School (weeks 11-18 plus FAC R1), York's Returning Glory (weeks 18-24 plus FAC SF and FAC SF Replay)
League - 8 games - Bassett Allsorts (weeks 15-22), Final Fantasy (weeks 17-24), Mega Buck Bandits (weeks 23-30), San Dimas High School (weeks 11-18)

Consecutive wins

All comps - 7 games - Boston Rock (weeks 21-26 plus FAC semi-final)
League - 7 games - Real Muppets (weeks 16-22)

Consecutive defeats

All comps - 7 games - Mega Buck Bandits (weeks 2-7 and PCMT R1)
League - 6 games - Bassett Allsorts (weeks 8-13), Final Fantasy (weeks 19-24), Mega Buck Bandits (weeks 2-7),  York's Returning Glory (weeks 19-24)

Consecutive games scoring

All comps - 23 games - Boston Rock (weeks 1-18 plus PCMT 1, QF, SF, F and FAC 1 and QF)
League - 18 games - Boston Rock (weeks 1-18)

Consecutive games without a goal

All comps - 5 games - York's Returning Glory (weeks 19-23)

Consecutive clean sheets

All comps - 3 games - Athletico Phoenix (weeks 21-23), Claymore (weeks 26-28), Fred west LG XI (weeks 27-29), The Cow-Faced Juniors (week 16 plus FAC 1 and QF), Trusted (weeks 11-13 and weeks 27-29)
League - 3 games - Athletico Phoenix (weeks 21-23), Claymore (weeks 26-28), Fred west LG XI (weeks 27-29), Nil Satis (weeks 1-3), Trusted (weeks 11-13 and weeks 27-29)

Consecutive games conceding

All comps -  21 games- Claymore Athletic FC (weeks 6-25 plus FAC 1)
League - 20 games - Claymore Athletic FC (weeks 6-25)

Total games scoring

All comps - 36 games - The Cow-Faced Juniors and You Know Your Boston Rock FC
League - 29 games - You Know Your Boston Rock FC

Total games without a goal

All comps - 18 games - York's Returning Glory
League - 18 games - York's Returning Glory

Total clean sheets

All comps - 13 games - The Cow-Faced Juniors
League - 10 games - The Cow-Faced Juniors

Total games conceding

All comps - 30 games - The Dead Parrots and York's Returning Glory
League - 26 games - York's Returning Glory

WSFFL - Week 11 Results

Athletico Phoenix 1 v 6 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Bassett Allsorts 0 v 2 Final Fantasy XI
Claymore Athletic FC 1 v 2 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Real Muppets 2 v 1 Mega Buck Bandits
San Dimas High School 2 v 2 The Dead Parrots
The Cow-Faced Juniors 2 v 0 Trusted By Millions
York’s Returning Glory 3 v 4 The Fabulous Artisans
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 6 v 1 Aardvark Abacus

Crushing victories for Fred and Boston Rock mark them out as title favourites. Fred's win over the Phoenix was hardly unexpected with Brian's team in a poor run of form but the unbeaten 'Gardeners' turned in a merciless second-half after just edging the first 45 minutes. Danny Wellbeck netted twice, Patrice Evra contributed a goal and a clean and Rafael van der Vaart converted a penalty. Is this one of the best unbeaten starts to a season? I wish I had the time to find out. The fact that Pablo Zabaleta scored the goal of the game no consolation to Brian as the result had ramifications at the bottom of the table too. Final Fantasy won 2-0 at Bassett Allsorts to lift themselves off the foot of the table for the first time in five weeks at Brian's expense. Morten Gamst Pedersen had gone cold over the last couple of seasons but scored both goals for Ceri.

Back to the happy end of the table and Boston Rock back to second place after a demolition of the Aardvarks. The result can't have come as a huge surprise looking at the teams respective positions but the manner of it surely was.  Glen Johnson has taken some flak for poor performances recently but struck the first goal and picked up a clean for Sheriff. Marouane Chamakh had equalised from a tight angle within ten minutes but another Andy Carroll goal and several clean sheets gave Boston Rock if not the biggest certainly one of the biggest over their old rivals. Ady has a month to sort things out before the PCMT Final. Trusted drop to third after slipping to defeat at the CFJs. Chris turning into quite the legend killer this season having beaten Boston Rock, the Aardvarks and put four past Fred. A bit more consistency and they could be in the title shake-up.

The Muppets are up to fourth after ending their three-match losing streak. I'm not saying Ryan has a one man team but he sure plays better when Carlos Tevez fires. The Argentinian scored both Muppets goals after Luke Varney's great strike from out wide had Mega Bucks ahead in three minutes. The Parrots lost ground after a draw with San Dimas. Two of the league's top goalscorers lined up in this match and they left with another two each. Johan Elmander had my team looking at victory before Kevin Davies completed his brace with a last-minute penalty.

The Artisans have made their way into a top half but needed clean sheets to see off a tough York's efforts. Samir Nasri, Maxi Rodriguez against his old club and Zoltan Gera had Julian 3-1 to the good with 20 minutes to go but Begovic, Givet and Skrtel cleans keep Ben's good run going. last up on match of the Day this week, the Evertonian Derby. Another victory for Nil Satis thanks to the Dynamic Duo Cahill and Arteta sees Paul jump over friendly rival Clive in the table. Claymore at least troubling the scorers with a Roger Johnson clean.

Market Moves

A bit of transfer business ahead of the week 11 matches to report.

Title-chasing trusted By Millions have signed Claymore cast-off Steed Malbranque. Athletico Phoenix have bolstered their defence with a move for Pascal Chimbonda. Another defensive re-shuffle at San Dimas High School sees Neil Eardley join the club.

The players leaving the WSFFL and dropping down a level to something called the Premier League are Wayne Routledge, Tamir Cohen and James Perch.

Week 10 Results

Aardvark Abacus 1 v 1 San Dimas High School
Final Fantasy XI 1 v 1 York’s Returning Glory
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 2 v 0 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Mega Buck Bandits 4 v 0 Claymore Athletic FC
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 1 v 3 Bassett Allsorts
The Dead Parrots 3 v 2 The Cow-Faced Juniors
The Fabulous Artisans 2 v 0 Athletico Phoenix
Trusted By Millions 2 v 1 Real Muppets

As I haven't seen a kick of this week's matches this report will be a mix of stats and what I've read. Fred takes a third turn at the top this season after beating previous leaders Boston Rock through late goals from Nemanja Vidic and Danny Wellbeck (his first WSFFL goal I think). Being top a third of the way through the season is no guarantee of going on to the title though. In the last three seasons only the Aardvarks in 2008/9 led at this stage and won the league. Hope for Sheriff (and some of the rest of us) in that Boston Rock only had 16 points at this stage last year and stil took the title. Trusted have separated Fred and Sheriff in the table after a 2-1 win over the Muppets. Surely the quickest WSFFL own goal in many years as Richard Stearman headed into his own net in the first minute on his recall to Beef's team. Two clean sheets gave Trusted all the points though and condemned the Muppets to a third straight league defeat. That hasn't happened since March 2009.

The Parrots are up to fourth after a come-from-behind win over the CFJs. Gareth Bale had put Chris two up but a late Kenwyne Jones goal and two cleans turned the table for Dean. The Parrots haven't occupied such a lofty position in the three and a bit seasons I've been doing this job. This time three years ago they were bottom with six points Aardvark and San Dimas started the weekend 7th and 8th and that's where they stayed. Another goal from Johan Elmander which involved some sort of pirouette apparently but Kevin Foley levelled for Ady shortly afterwards.

The Artisans joined those two teams just mentioned on 14 points after a 2-0 win over the Phoenix. Midfielders Albrighton Young geting the goals in a five-minute spell in the second half. Brian's team won two of their first three games but have only picked up two points since and haven't scored for four matches. Mega Bucks stuffed Claymore 4-0 and join Clive on 11 points. That's 11 goals conceded for Claymore without reply in November.

York's are also on 11 points after a draw with bottom-placed Final Fantasy. Peter Crouch netted his first of the season for Julian but the recalled Jose Enrique got the equalising clean for Ceri. A third win of the season for Bassett Allsorts came at Nil Satis' expense. Roman Pavlyuchenko's goal was cancelled by Paul's Mr Reliable Tim Cahill but Ben had cleans from Brede Hangeland and a first of the season from Herita Ilunga to complete the win.

PCMT Semi-final results

The Fabulous Artisans 3 Aardvark Abacus 5
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 3 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 0

The big two make it three Paul Cartmell Memorial Finals in a row after seeing off their semi-final opponents. Boston Rock, going for four in a row in this competition, had to wait until the second half for a breakthrough against Nil Satis. Andy Carroll powered a bullet header home two minutes after the re-start and then comfortably saw out the game, DJ Campbell scored his first Boston Rock goal (a shot from the edge of the box that took a bit of a deflection) then Rio Ferdinand adding a clean sheet for good measure. 

There were goals galore in the other semi. Marouane Chamakh had the Aardvarks ahead within 40 seconds but the Artisans were ahead before an hour was up with goals from Stewart Downing and Hugo Rodallega. Asamoah Gyan had Ady's team back on terms on 67 minutes but when James Collins squeezed a header in on 89 minutes Ben was dreaming of Wembley. The dream will have to wait. Rather than rest on their lead the Artisans pushed forward giving Chamakh the chance to break away and equalise. That goal broke Artisans hearts and cleans from Cech and Kompany sent Ady through and gives the chance of some PCMT revenge in the Boxing Day Final.

Week 9 Results

Bassett Allsorts 3 v 0 Mega Buck Bandits
Claymore Athletic FC 0 v 7 Trusted By Millions
Final Fantasy XI 2 v 3 The Fabulous Artisans
Real Muppets 0 v 5 The Dead Parrots
San Dimas High School 0 v 0 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
The Cow-Faced Juniors 3 v 1 Aardvark Abacus
York’s Returning Glory 2 v 2 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 1 v 0 Athletico Phoenix

Another draw for Fred means Boston Rock go back to the top spot. Sheriff's team only managed one goal, an Andy Carroll header, against a determined Athletico Phoenix but it was enough for him to leapfrog Fred after the Gardeners spent five weeks at number one. Fred was held to a goalless draw at San Dimas, playing in front of the biggest crowd of the week for the first time in two seasons, but a dour 0-0 won't see too many of the 75,000+ rushing back.

If it's goals you want then Trusted were the team to watch this week. I've had a go at Beef's plodding start to the season more than once but this is more of what we expect. Claymore had no answer to doubles from Torres and Park in particular and suffered his biggest league defeat. (Although Trusted did batter Clive's team 9-2 in the Cup last season so he's got previous). Goals galore at the Muppets too but no one would have been expecting all five to be scored by the Parrots. Dean's team had gone quiet after a good start but Kevin Davies led the onslaught with a brace, Alan Hutton curled a superb goal from outside the box and two cleans completed the rout.

The Parrots are up to sixth, one place behind the CFJs who added the Aardvarks to their list of scalps this season. Frederic Piquionne put Chris ahead but when Asamoah Gyan levelled on 86 minutes it looked like Ady had rescued a point but it wasn't to be. A Martin Petrov breakaway goal and then Nedum Onuoha with a clean inflicted a fourth Aardvark defeat of the season. It's not great form that Ady's taking into his PCMT semi-final. The Aardvark's opponents in midweek are the Artisans who finally got a return on their Mario Balotelli money. The £27m striker scored two quick goals in the first half and Marc Albrighton made it three against Final Fantasy by half-time. Ceri hit back in the second half through Morten Gamst Pedersen's free-kick before Balotelli saw red. Cameron Jerome immediately reduced the deficit further but Ceri couldn't make the extra man pay. Ben will appeal against Balotelli's suspension and hope he can make the semi-final.

Final Fantasy are three points adrift at the bottom now after the Allsorts won their second game of the season. Ben left it late to beat Mega Bucks but Roman Pavlyuchenko's spectacular volley on 87 minutes was quickly followed by a Brede Hangeland header and a Tim Krul clean. Dave's Bandits have the league's leakiest defence at the moment. York's have made a better fist of it so far this season and came from 2-0 down to grab a point against Nil Satis. Paul was ahead through yet another Tim Cahill header and a Seamus Coleman strike but those goals were cancelled out by Gretar Steinsson and an Anton Ferdinand clean.

Week 8 Results

Aardvark Abacus 1 v 0 Real Muppets
Athletico Phoenix 0 v 2 San Dimas High School
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 4 v 4 The Cow-Faced Juniors
Mega Buck Bandits 2 v 1 York’s Returning Glory
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 1 v 0 Final Fantasy XI
The Dead Parrots 0 v 3 Claymore Athletic FC
The Fabulous Artisans 3 v 4 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Trusted By Millions 2 v 0 Bassett Allsorts

What a way for the old Cromwell Street Stadium to sign off before it closes and Fred moves his franchise to South Africa. The Gardeners had only conceded four goals in seven league games before the game but were 4-1 down at half-time. Benjani, Anelka and two from Dempsey had put the CFJs in a strong position but a bizarre Nani goal put Fred back in the game with six minutes to go and they dug deep to find two cleans to get a point and keep their unbeaten record. The lead is down to a point as Boston Rock keep up their bid for back-to-back titles. It was another strange game that took place at the Goddard Stadium. A Kevin Nolan hat-trick (he's now the league's top scorer) and a last minute Darren Bent goal appeared to have completed a comfortable win for Sheriff but the Artisans then threw the clean sheet kitchen sink at their opponents only to come up one short.

The Muppets were in second but have dropped two places after defeat to Aardvark Abacus. One goal settled this one, an Emmanuel Adebayor penalty on 23 minutes, and was absolutely vital for Ady's team if they have any title aspirations. Ryan's Muppets have also dropped behind Trusted who picked up another victory without being convincing. It took cleans from Ridgewell and Carragher for Beef to beat the struggling Allsorts.

It's a surprise for me to San Dimas nearer the top than the bottom. First goals of the season from Nenad Milijas and Yakubu beat Athletico Phoenix. Brian's team aren't conceding many but are missing the cutting edge of Robin van Persie. The Dead Parrots close out the top half of the table but suffered a comprehensive home defeat to Claymore. The action came late down under, Branislav Ivanovic netting for Clive on 84 minutes who then added a couple of cleans for good measure.

Ahead of their big PCMT semi-final against the holders Nil Satis are quietly going about their business. It was a single goal victory for Paul over Final Fantasy thanks to a John Heitinga clean and it keeps Ceri bottom. Mega Buck Bandits pulled a few points clear of their Okus rivals with a win over York's. Adam and Varney scoring for Dave, a Luke Young clean coming too late for Julian.

PCMT Semi-final draw

The ties came out as follows...

The Fabulous Artisans v Aardvark Abacus
You Know Your Boston Rock FC v Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

Like some crazy magnets with the same polarity Boston Rock and the Aardvarks have repelled each other in the semi-final draw once again.

Could they clash in the final for a third straight year or will Ben and/or Paul put a stop to that idea?

Week 7 (& PCMT replay) results

PCMT Quarter-final replay

Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 1 v 2 Aardvark Abacus

Phil Jagielka came off the bench to settle the tie in Ady's favour. Incredibly this will be the sixth successive time he's reached at least the semi-final stage.

League Week 7

Bassett Allsorts 1 v 1 The Dead Parrots
Claymore Athletic FC 2 v 1 Aardvark Abacus
Final Fantasy XI 1 v 1 Mega Buck Bandits
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 1 v 2 The Fabulous Artisans
Real Muppets 1 v 1 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
San Dimas High School 1 v 4 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
The Cow-Faced Juniors 0 v 0 Athletico Phoenix
York’s Returning Glory 2 v 6 Trusted By Millions

Fred's 100% record goes but he keeps his three point lead. Rafael van der Vaart slammed the league leaders in front on 20 minutes from no distance at all but Ryan's team were level through Florent Malouda within three minutes. Surprisingly that's the way it stayed. The draw cost the Muppets second place on goal difference as Boston Rock took over that spot. Sheriff's side had a good 4-1 win at San Dimas with new housemates Kevin Nolan and Andy Carroll both on the scoresheet.

Trusted finally found their scoring boots this week putting six past York's. Beef will be delighted with two from Javier Hernandez (great back-header for the first) and one from Fernando Torres at long last. The Parrots hang on to fifth place but could only grab a point at the Allsorts. Dean's team were looking set for the win through Joe Hart's saved penalty but Salamon Kalou, Ben's best performer this season, drove in at the near post with ten minutes left to grab a share of the spoils.

The CFJs and Athletico Phoenix fought out a goalless draw which keeps Chris sixth. Brian could have got all the points if Emile Heskey hadn't nutmegged himself from three yards. Aardvark Abacus may have won their PCMT replay but another defeat in the league leaves them marooned in mid-table. Ady had taken the lead through Sotirios Kyrgiakos but Nikola Zigic poked home for Clive soon after and Roger Johnson's clean gave Claymore a much-needed win.

The Artisans are going the right way at last after victory over fellow strugglers, and PCMT semi-finalists, Nil Satis. An excellent Leighton Baines free-kick set Ben on his way and the lead was doubled on the hour by Hugo Rodallega. John O'Shea's clean pulled one back for Paul but it wasn't enough. It was honours even in the Okus Derby. An unlucky Scott Carson own goal put Mega Bucks ahead on nine minutes but Carlton levelled things for Ceri on 12 minutes. The game petered out after that, the fact that the managers now have to spend a week on holiday in Portugal together may have had something to do with that!

PCMT quarter-final results

Aardvark Abacus 2 v 2 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Claymore Athletic FC 0 v 3 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
The Dead Parrots 0 v 1 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
The Fabulous Artisans 3 v 2 Real Muppets

May as well start with the holders, Boston Rock, who are now one game away from a fourth straight Paul Cartmell Memorial Cup final. John Terry was wheeled out for the game despite a bad back and his clean was the only mark on the scoresheet against the Dead Parrots. Ady will have to wait a while longer to know if his Aardvarks have a chance of making their fifth final in the last six seasons. Ady's team were held to a 2-2 by highflying Fred West for whom David Silva notched a last minute equaliser. The Gardeners getting a draw even though the manager is in Crete and leaving his team to get on with it!

Surprise of the round came at the Goddard stadium with the Artisans upsetting second in the league Real Muppets. C-Y Lee (who I think used to be in the Style Council) put Ben ahead mid-way through the first half but yet another Carlos Tevez brace swung the game in the Muppets favour with ten minutes on the clock. The Artisans showed some steel which has been missing this season with James Collins and Leighton Baines getting the deciding cleans. The 'Evertonian derby' was a one -sided affair - Tim Cahill and Mikel Arteta slamming home shots either side of half time for Nil Satis, no response from Clive's team.

The semi-final draw will take place when Ady and Fred have sorted out their tie. The games are set for the midweek of 9/10 November.

Another San Dimas Change

San Dimas High School boss Paul Garratt has been dabbling in the transfer market again.

On hearing that summer signing Thomas Hitzlsperger had been ruled out for a further four months the German's contract has been terminated without him playing a game. His replacement is Wolves midfielder Stephen Hunt, a long-term target for the 'Saints'.

The San Dimas midfield has been in turmoil this season with injuries to Theo Walcott, Jack Rodwell and the unfortunate Hatem Ben Arfa. Nenad Milijas and recent recruit Jean Beausejour have also struggled for fitness following their World Cup campaigns with Serbia and Chile respectively.

San Dimas have games against the league's high-flyers coming up over the next few weeks so Hunt is likely to make his debut when league matches resume on 23 October.

Week 6 Results

Aardvark Abacus 4 v 0 Bassett Allsorts
Athletico Phoenix 2 v 3 Real Muppets
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 3 v 1 Claymore Athletic FC
Mega Buck Bandits 1 v 2 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
The Dead Parrots 0 v 1 York’s Returning Glory
The Fabulous Artisans 2 v 3 San Dimas High School
Trusted By Millions 1 v 0 Final Fantasy XI
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 1 v 2 The Cow-Faced Juniors

Fred continues on his merry way at the top of the table. Didier Drogba's clever near-post flick and a brace from big-money midfielder Rafael van der Vaart proving too much for Claymore. If you include last season that's ten straight league wins for the Cromwell Street club. Fred's nearest chasers are now the Muppets who had a scare against Athletico Phoenix. Brian's recent additions Jon Walters and James Morrison had the Phoenix 2-1 up as the clock ran down but cleans from Ashley Cole and Abdoulaye Faye clinched all the points for Ryan. Next league game for the Muppets - home to Fred!

The Muppets are second because Boston Rock suffered their first defeat of the season and are down to third. The CFJs have lost a couple of Cup finals to Sheriff's team but had a small measure of revenge this week. Clint Dempsey and Frederic Piquionne gave Chris a cushion that the returning Rio Ferdinand's clean couldn't match. Next up are Trusted who, if the cliche about winning when playing badly is true, are in the shake-up despite only scoring at the rate of a goal and a half a game. It was a single clean from Ryan Shawcross this week that was enough for Beef and drops Ceri to the foot of the table.

A first victory for Nil Satis took them out of bottom place and up to 12th. Charlie Adam's first-half penalty had Mega Bucks ahead for an hour but Tim Cahill struck late on for Paul and while Dave's team were still reeling from that blow John O'Shea picked up the winning clean. It was a better week for the other Bevan brother as Ady's Aardvarks battered Bassett Allsorts. The Aardvarks did leave it late though. It took a thunderbolt free-kick from Alex with five minutes to go to break the deadlock and then the clean sheet floodgates opened and no response from Ben F's outfit.

Ben W's Artisans still haven't found second gear this season. Despite leading 2-1 through Johnson and Rodallega they were the latest victims of the improving San Dimas. Johan Elmander had opened the scoring against his old club and my generally leaky defence showed some mettle to get two cleans and take the points. Last but certainly not least is another win for York's, this time at the high-flying Parrots. This quiet affair was settled in Julian's favour by a Martin Olsson clean. York's only picked up four wins last season so three out of six is quite an effort!

WSFFL - Week 5 Results

Bassett Allsorts 0 v 1 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Claymore Athletic FC 1 v 1 Athletico Phoenix
Final Fantasy XI 0 v 2 The Dead Parrots
Mega Buck Bandits 1 v 2 The Fabulous Artisans
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 1 v 1 Trusted By Millions
Real Muppets 1 v 4 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
The Cow-Faced Juniors 2 v 5 San Dimas High School
York’s Returning Glory 3 v 2 Aardvark Abacus

Fred West are alone at the top after making it five wins out of five. The closest match yet for 'the Gardeners' though as only Nani's excellent run and shot was the difference against Bassett Allsorts. There's a two-point gap to Boston Rock who ended the Muppets 100% record with a comfortable 4-1 win. Two more for Darren Bent and big money signing Kevin Nolan was also on target from the spot before Carlos Tevez pulled one back for Ryan. Sheriff taking my comment about his mid-table near future and ramming back down my throat!

The Parrots continue their excellent start to the season with a 2-0 win at Final Fantasy. Human battering ram Kenwyne Jones with a goal and a Kolo Toure clean for Dean too much for Ceri's team this week. Trusted are fifth but Beef must be worrying about his lack of goals. His team were held to 1-1 draw against bottom-placed Nil Satis after being unable to build on Steven Gerrard's goal and conceding a Lars Jacobsen clean to Paul's strugglers.

Perhaps it's the Aardvarks who are on the slide. They crashed 3-2 at York's with a Manuel Almunia saved penalty and two goals from Samir Nasri giving Julian a 3-0 lead before Ady's team woke up and pulled back a couple of cleans. It's rare a team wins the league with more than five or six defeats, the Aardvarks are a third of the way there already. The CFJs are seventh despite crashing 5-2 at home to San Dimas. James Perch's bullet own goal header gave Chris a 2-1 lead with five minutes to go but I had plenty of clean sheets up my sleeve, including a rare one from Ali Al-Habsi, to get the win.

Athletico Phoenix close out the top half after a 1-1 draw with Claymore. Zat Knight's clever flick on six minutes looked to have won the match but a Manuel da Costa clean tied things up for Clive at the death. Brian left disappointed that he was unable to get a new signing (see below) into his team due to work commitments and then watching him pop one in for the reserves. We finish this week with a first win for the Artisans. Ben had a helping hand from Mega Bucks when Charlie Adam nodded into his own net after 20 minutes. Stewart Downing doubled the lead five minutes later, converting a fine Marc Albrighton cross, while Dave could only reply with a Matt Jarvis cross that eluded everybody and found the net on the hour.

Week 4 Results

Aardvark Abacus 3 v 1 Final Fantasy XI
Athletico Phoenix 0 v 2 Bassett Allsorts
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 6 v 0 York’s Returning Glory
San Dimas High School 2 v 3 Real Muppets
The Dead Parrots 5 v 0 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
The Fabulous Artisans 2 v 2 The Cow-Faced Juniors
Trusted By Millions 2 v 2 Mega Buck Bandits
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 1 v 1 Claymore Athletic FC

Fred takes another turn at the top. The 'Gardeners' show no signs of a scoring let-up bashing six past York's. Dimitar Berbatov hit a hat-trick, including a stunning overhead, and new signing Rafael van der Vaart was on the scoresheet too. Julian's team are on the slide and next up they face the Aardvarks! The Muppets have a 100% record too. Ryan's team raced into a 3-0 lead against San Dimas with mainly a Florent Malouda double to thank for it and then held on despite two of the new High School intake, Hatem Ben Arfa and Peter Odemwingie, getting their first goals for the club. Honestly, what do I have to do to win a game?

There's a change at the top as Boston Rock were held to a draw by Claymore. It could have been worse for Sheriff after Scott Dann steered into his own goal but Darren Bent struck with time almost up to deny Clive the three points. No Lampard, Terry or Ferdinand for Sheriff this week - was this a glimpse of his mid-table near future? (He said controversially). Aardvark Abacus are in fourth and heading a batch of teams on seven points. Ady's side aren't convincing me yet and needed three cleans to overturn Cameron Jerome's first goal for Final Fantasy which had kept Ceri in front for 75 minutes.

Perhaps the Parrots will be this season's surprise package. Dean's team showed plenty of bouncebackability after last week's defeat to Mega Bucks and stuffed Nil Satis 5-0. A tap in from Scott Parker and then both Parrots strikers on target to set up the win. Is there a better attacking header of a ball then Kenwyne Jones in the league? Paul's team now prop up the league after this result and have got nothing going at all yet this term. Nil Satis are bottom because Bassett Allsorts broke their duck against Athletico Phoenix. Brian was worried about Salomon Kalou and was proved right after 73 seconds. The Phoenix should have earned a point but Rosicky blazed his penalty over and Roman Pavlyuchenko confirmed the Allsorts win.

The Fabulous Artisans showed a bit more gumption than of late when earning a draw against the CFJs. It did take a James Collins clean to give Ben a share of the spoils after headed goals from Samba and Dempsey for Chris wiped out Ashley Young's opener. Mega Bucks proved that last week's win wasn't a flash in the pan in getting a draw at Trusted. Cesc Fabregas' freak deflection and Steven Fletcher had Dave's team two up but two Steven Gerrard set pieces levelled matters for Beef.

San Dimas Signing

San Dimas High School have narrowly beaten this weekend's transfer deadline to sign Fulham defender Rafik Halliche.

The central defender was a part of the Algerian World Cup squad which thwarted England in that memorable game this summer and joins the High School as another defensive option.

Halliche will undergo a late fitness test before today's game with Real Muppets so his debut may be delayed.

New Zealand defender Winston Reid leaves the club after one game and not a good one at that!

The Summer's Top Transfers

Some big money flew around at the two auctions this year. Here's a reminder of the £10m plus signings.

£27m Mario Balotelli to the Fabulous Artisans
£18.5m Asamoah Gyan to Aardvark Abacus
£18m Laurent Koscielny to  Real Muppets
£17.5m Marouane Chamakh to Aardvark Abacus
£17m Javier Hernandez to Trusted By Millions
£17m David Silva to Fred West
£16m Rafael van der Vaart to Fred West
£13m Alexandar Kolarov to Fred West
£11m Jerome Boateng to Fred West
£11m Jermaine Beckford to Athletico Phoenix
£10.5m Kevin Nolan to Boston Rock
£10m Steven Taylor to Boston Rock

Any suggestions as to which of these will be the best and which has 'expensive turkey of a signing' written all over it?

Paul Cartmell Memorial Cup Quarter-final draw

Made at the transfer window auction and finalised by Clive's win last week here's how they came out of the yellow bag.

Aardvark Abacus v Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
The Dead Parrots v You Know Your Boston Rock FC
The Fabulous Artisans v Real Muppets
Claymore Athletic FC v Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

Ties to be played w/c 16 October

Week 3 (and PCMT replay) results

PCMT 1st round replay

Trusted By Millions 0 v 3 Claymore Athletic FC

Clive sets up a quarter-final against Nil Satis.

Week 3 Results

Bassett Allsorts 1 v 3 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Claymore Athletic FC 5 v 3 San Dimas High School
Final Fantasy XI 0 v 2 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Mega Buck Bandits 3 v 1 The Dead Parrots
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 3 v 3 Aardvark Abacus
Real Muppets 2 v 0 The Cow-Faced Juniors
Trusted By Millions 1 v 0 The Fabulous Artisans
York’s Returning Glory 0 v 1 Athletico Phoenix

Boston, Fred and Muppets still on maximum points.

Boston Rock left it late to make it three wins out of three. Salomon Kalou's flukey rebound had Bassett Allsorts on top until the very end when three cleans swung the game in Sheriff's favour. Ben F now the only boss without a point. Fred West still hot on the heels of the leaders after a 2-0 win to Final Fantasy. Dimitar Berbatov on target again, could the lanky Bulgarian really make his mark on this season?

The Muppets are our third 100% team after a 2-0 win over the CFJs. Koscielny and Brunt were on target before half-time for Ryan. Chris's team stay fourth though. They're just ahead of Trusted who edged out the Artisans by a single clean sheet courtesy of Jamie Carragher. Ben's team very goal-shy so far this season and now one off the bottom.

Athletico Phoenix made it two wins out of three with a Steven Carr clean being the difference against York's. Aardvark Abacus blew a three-goal lead to draw against Nil Satis and already trail their arch-rivals by five points. Kalinic, Modric and Chamakh all scored before the hour mark and it stayed that way until injury time when Cahill and Arteta scored and Coleman levelled the game with a clean. A dramatic way for Paul to get his first point of the season.

Clive is off the mark too, after beating San Dimas 5-3. Michael Essien's second had me 3-2 ahead with seven minutes to go but Dembele and a couple of cleans sealed the win. When I score three goals and end up on the wrong end I think a little of me dies inside. Last but by no means least were Mega Bucks picking up a win. Dave's recent signings Charlie Adam and Antolin Alcaraz getting on the scoresheet but Dean's consolation from Scott Parker was a gem of a chip.

Mega Bucks Movers

Mega Buck Bandits manager David Bevan has reacted to his team's appalling start to the new season by blaming everybody else and making major changes to his defence.

The Bandits have incredibly shipped 21 goals in the three games this season and Dave decided not to wait for the transfer window auction to make changes.

The WSFFL fax machine was buzzing on pool closure day as Emiliano Insua, Stuart Parnaby and Alan Hutton all departed the club.

The Mega Bucks scouts recommended Stephen Ward, Antolin Alcaraz, Ian Evatt, Gabriel Tamas and
Stephen Darby as the players to tighten the Bandits up at the back. Time will tell!

Owen Follows Woodgate Out the Door

Michael Owen has been shown the door at Claymore Athletic FC. Claymore’s manager Clive Lucas-Fenwick (poncy name!) said, “Owen has been a disappointing flop at Claymore, especially over the last 18 months. I already have half a dozen ‘crap’ players, but their wages are not nearly as high as Owen’s”.

Clive added that he was “sick as a parrot, that Owen did not score for me.  Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say”.

In a parting gesture, Clive described Owen as “a nice boy"! Going on to say "unfortunately, he spends more time in the treatment room than the Physio", adding that "Owen will always be remembered for his most memorable moment in a Claymore shirt"!

Paul Cartmell Memorial Cup First Round Results

Athletico Phoenix 0 v 2 Aardvark Abacus
Bassett Allsorts 0 v 3 Real Muppets
Claymore Athletic FC 2 v 2 Trusted By Millions
Final Fantasy XI 1 v 2 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Mega Buck Bandits 0 v 6 Fred West LG XI
San Dimas High School 1 v 4 The Fabulous Artisans
The Dead Parrots 3 v 0 The Cow-Faced Juniors
York's Returning Glory 1 v 3 You Know Your Boston Rock FC

Boston Rock's latest defence of this trophy starts with a routine win.

Woodgate Leaves Claymore

In a dramatic and some would say unjustifiable move, Claymore Athletic FC have dumped their 30 year old England defender, Jonathan Woodgate, into the Pool.

Claymore’s manager, Clive Lucas-Fenwick (poncy name!) said, “In a knee-jerk reaction to conceding eight goals in our opening two matches, I have made Woodgate a ‘scapegoat’, even though he did not feature in either game, due to a long term groin injury”.  Unimpressed by Woodgate’s reluctance to play through the pain barrier, Clive has decided he needs men, not ‘wousers’ in his team!

In a parting gesture, Clive described Woodgate as “a nice boy"! Going on to say "unfortunately, he spends more time in the treatment room than the Physio", adding that "Woodgate will always be remembered for his most memorable moment in a Claymore shirt"!

Week 2 Results

Aardvark Abacus 8 v 1 Mega Buck Bandits
Athletico Phoenix 1 v 3 Final Fantasy XI
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 2 v 1 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
San Dimas High School 6 v 4 Bassett Allsorts
The Cow-Faced Juniors 4 v 2 Claymore Athletic FC
The Dead Parrots 4 v 3 Trusted By Millions
The Fabulous Artisans 0 v 5 Real Muppets
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 6 v 1 York’s Returning Glory

The champions begin their defence with two six-goal performances. Sound familiar? Boston Rock fell behind to a Joey Barton goal for York's but Andy Carroll with a hat-trick and Kevin Nolan with a brace started repaying the £19.5m Sheriff spent on the pair. Boston rock leapfrog Fred at the top as the 'Gardeners' struggled to a 2-1 win over Nil Satis. Paul ahead through the reliable Tim Cahill but a Ben Foster saved penalty and Paolo Ferreira clean swung the game in Fred's favour. Nil Satis are one of four teams without a point.

Fred are only above the Muppets on alphabetical order. Ryan's team made short work of the Fabulous Artisans this week with Florent Malouda opening the scoring before Carlos Tevez notched a second-half brace. Not a great start from the Artisans who are now four without a win if we take last season into consideration. The CFJs are our last 100% team. Two from Gareth Bale (what a strike that second one was) in the first half and two from Nicolas Anelka in the second too much for Claymore. Clive's charges are a lowly 15th after running into two good performances from their opponents.

The Dead Parrots are still unbeaten after playing two of last year's top five. A point against the Artisans last week was followed by victory over Trusted. Gareth Barry swept home on 13 minutes to open the scoring for Dean but Beef seemed to be cruising to a win before three unanswered cleans took the points down under. Beef's great result against the Aardvarks last week quickly undone. Speaking of the Aardvarks they bounced back from that first week defeat on emphatic style. Paul Scholes gave Ady a 1-0 half-time lead but the Mega Bucks defence melted away after the break with even Craig Gardner scoring twice for the 'Earth-Pigs'. Dave's team have now conceded a quarter of the goals they did in the entirety of last season.

Goals aplenty at San Dimas too. Ben's Allsorts can feel a bit hard done by to still be pointless after scoring four themselves but being on the receiving end of Johan Elmander doubling his last season tally and Theo Walcott scoring more in 46 minutes than he's managed in the last two seasons. I know it's early days but it's my highest league position since week 14 two seasons ago. Final Fantasy broke their duck too with a 3-1 win at the Phoenix. Arshavin's penalty for Ceri was cancelled out for Brian by Abou Diaby just after the break but clean sheets from Carson and Enrique get Final Fantasy off the mark.

San Dimas Signing

San Dimas High School have signed midfielder Cristian Riveros as they look to bounce back from their opening day defeat to York's Returning Glory.

The 27 year old midfielder has played fifty times for Paraguay and scored in their World Cup win against Slovakia.

Riveros made his name at Mexican side Cruz Azul who delight in the nickname 'Los Cementeros' and is likely to make his debut against fellow strugglers Bassett Allsorts

Too make way for the Paraguayan, chunky playmaker Andy Reid leaves the club (for the third time I think).

Week 1 Results

Bassett Allsorts 1 v 2 The Cow-Faced Juniors
Claymore Athletic FC 2 v 4 Real Muppets
Final Fantasy XI 0 v 6 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Mega Buck Bandits 1 v 7 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 1 v 2 Athletico Phoenix
The Dead Parrots 1 v 1 The Fabulous Artisans
Trusted By Millions 1 v 0 Aardvark Abacus
York’s Returning Glory 3 v 0 San Dimas High School

I'm not sure how important it is to lay down a marker in the first week - but it's better than doing the opposite.

The champions showed that they won't be giving up their title lightly with a six-goal demolition of Final Fantasy. Sheriff's tried and trusted players like Lampard, Terry, Milner and Bent all featuring on the scoresheet. Ceri's new signings can't come quick enough. Also with a six-goal victory (not seven as erroneously reported - probably by the WSFFL's answer to Chris Kamara) were Fred West over Mega Bucks. Fred's £55m outlay may reap rewards in time but it was old stagers like Drogba, Berbatov and Giggs doing the damage. Dave will just be hopeful not to run into a strike-force like that every week.

The game of the day between title contenders Trusted and Aardvark turned out to be the lowest-scoring. It was settled in Beef's favour by a scrambled Liam Ridgewell goal with two minutes remaining. Is it me or is the Aardvark armour tarnishing a little? Expect Ady to be busy in the transfer window auction. Last season the Muppets title challenge was derailed by drawing too many matches so Ryan will be pleased with an opening day win against Claymore. Florent Malouda bagging the day's earliest goal and another at the death before Pepe Reina comically shovelled into his own goal. Clive has already marked this season under R for rebuilding. His ten new signings will need time to gel.

A couple of last season's contenders didn't make great starts. The Fabulous Artisans managed a 1-1 draw at the always-dangerous Dead Parrots. Stuart Downing opened Ben's account for the season but he couldn't find a second goal to settle the game and Kolo Toure got the equalising clean for Dean. Last term's long-time leaders Nil Satis are the only team not to make any signings yet this season but Paul could be reaching for the chequebook after defeat to Athletico Phoenix. Brian recovering from Steven Carr's looped header into his own net to win the game with two cleans.

The CFJs were another team that needed clean sheets to grab all three points. Bassett Allsorts had taken the lead with an extremely rare Stilyan Petrov goal but Bale and Samba turned the game in Chris's favour. York's 3-0 victory over my shower of a team was their biggest in the league since week 10 last year. Three clean sheets doing the business for Julian. An anagram of San Dimas is 'is sad man' which scratches the surface of the way I feel about the High School's showing.

Changes at San Dimas

After a very short stay Trevor Carson has left San Dimas High School.

The goalkeeper, whose uncle is TV 'funnyman' Frank Carson, hadn't settled. It was the way he didn't save them.

Simon Mignolet has joined the co-ordinator's squad and is likely to make his debut on the opening day of the season.

Also moving on from Saints Stadium is Sam Ricketts, whose father is a former world equestrian champion. He's replaced by Spurs youngster Kyle Walker.

PCMT 1st Round Draw

Athletico Phoenix v Aardvark Abacus
Bassett Allsorts v Real Muppets
Claymore Athletic FC v Trusted By Millions
Final Fantasy XI v Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Mega Buck Bandits v Fred West LG XI
San Dimas High School v The Fabulous Artisans
The Dead Parrots v The Cow-Faced Juniors
York's Returning Glory v You Know Your Boston Rock FC

Sheriff will be delighted with that draw when he starts his Trophy defence at the end of August. How many of last season's bottom eight will progress?

Auction Highlights

Fred West were the big spenders - £55.5m on six players to try and get Fred back into the trophy shake-up.

For the second season running the Muppets made the most expensive purchase and the for the second season running it was an Arsenal defender. Laurent Koscielny was the man, £18m was the fee. £2m less than his defensive partner Thomas Vermaelen.

Claymore made the most signings on the night. Clive bringing in ten new faces to bolster his squad.

And let's not forget the Champions. Boston Rock went back to their old revolving door ways. Seven in and seven out as Sheriff proves he won't stand still this season.

Opening Day Fixtures Announced

Always an exciting day in the WSFFL calendar! The fixture computer has churned out these games as our league openers...

Bassett Allsorts v The Cow-Faced Juniors
Claymore Athletic FC v Real Muppets
Final Fantasy XI v You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Mega Buck Bandits v Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum v Athletico Phoenix
The Dead Parrots v The Fabulous Artisans
Trusted By Millions v Aardvark Abacus
York’s Returning Glory v San Dimas High School

Boston Rock have a potential opening day banana skin at Final Fantasy but the MOTD cameras will surely concentrate on Trusted v the Aardvarks. Last year's second and third thrown together and looking to lay down an early season marker.

The full provisional fixture list will be online soon.

WSFFL at the World Cup

Which of our teams is providing most players in South Africa? Which team is your money on?

Aardvark Abacus (6) - Gallas, Diaby (FRA) Kyrgiakos (GRE) Upson (ENG) Kuyt (NED) Carvalho (POR)
Athletico Phoenix (4) - Dos Santos (MEX) Carrick (ENG) van Persie (NED) Bendtner (DEN)
Bassett Allsorts (5) - Guzan (USA) Assou-Ekotto, Bassong (CAM) Kalou (CIV) Palacios (HON)
Claymore Athletic (8) - Pienaar (SAF) Sagna, Clichy (FRA) Rooney (ENG) Howard (USA) Ivanovic (SER) Mensah (GHA) Deco (POR)
Final Fantasy XI (1) - Mokoena* (SAF)
Fred West LG XI (7) - Evra (FRA) Etuhu (NGR) Vidic (SER) Babel (NED) Drogba, Eboue (CIV) Ferreira (POR)
Megabuck Bandits (3) - Heskey (ENG) Nelsen (NZL) Fabregas (SPA)
Nil Satis (8) - Vela (MEX) Yobo (NGR) Green (ENG) Donovan** (USA) Cahill (AUS) Heitinga (NED) Jacobsen (DEN) Gomes (BRA)
Real Muppets (8) - Malouda (FRA) Tevez, Mascherano (ARG) A.Cole, J.Cole (ENG) Agger (DEN) Da Silva (PAR) Reina (SPA)
San Dimas (4) - Yakubu (NGR) Milijas (SER) Santa Cruz (PAR) Figueroa (HON)
The CFJ's (7) - Anelka (FRA) Utaka (NGR) Lennon (ENG) Dempsey, Hahnemann (USA) Pantsil (GHA) Song (CAM)
The Dead Parrots (9) - James, Warnock, Barry, Hart (ENG) Spector (USA) De Jong (NED) Weiss (SVK) Toure (CIV) Behrami (SWI)
The Fabulous Artisans (6) - Franco (MEX) Rodriguez (ARG) CY Lee (SKO) Sorensen (DEN) Skrtel (SVK) Robinho (BRA)
Trusted By Millions (8) - JS Park (SKO) Gerrard, Dawson, Carragher (ENG) Belhadj (ALG) Schwarzer (AUS) Boateng (GHA) Torres (SPA)
York's Returning Glory (2) - Crouch (ENG) Senderos (SWI)
You Know Your Boston Rock FC (7)- Johnson, Terry, Lampard, Milner, Wright-Phillips, Defoe, King (ENG)
'The Pool' (10) - Dikgacoi (SAF) Shittu (NGR) Holden (USA) Guedioura (ALG) Emerton, Grella (AUS) Stojkovic (SER) Kingson (GHA) Gohouri (CIV) Thomas (HON)

So, leaving the pool out of it, a surprise win for the Parrots. Good on you cobber!

* released under 'first refusal' rule
** retained player not in Premier League

You Know Your Boston Rock FC, Treble-Winning Season Review 2009/2010

The view on WSFFL's first treble season from the man who plotted it and pulled it off...

I really didn't think I could improve on last season's second place and double cup win, although going into this season retooled with both the addition of John Terry for the Da Silva twins, and Darren Bent's move from Spurs reserves to the Sunderland first team, I expected to have a good season. Didn't expect this though...

I went into this season with concerns about the status quo at the top of the WSFFL, the amount of cash pumped into one team in particular this close season, and the increasing foreign influence in the Premiership. These led me to fully adopt a policy I'd been moving towards for a good few years anyway, which was to go with a squad of 100% English players, and also keep my squad at my preferred shape of 3 goalies, 9 defenders, 9 midfielders and 6 forwards throughout the season (I'm not particularly a fan of any Premiership team; if anything I'm a fan of the English national team, so my 100% English policy was a logical follow-on from that).

I thought that this would keep me competitive, but the boys really did me proud. Fat Frank, Defoe and Bent all had goal-tastic seasons, but I was really pleased and proud of 2 other players in my team, namely Milner and Dunn. Young James really came on in leaps and bounds this season, proving himself the nearest young player we've got to Lampard, and an undoubted fixture in the England team for years to come. Future England captain? As for Dunny, he had a splendid rebound season and scored the probably the most crucial goal of the season for me, namely his tap-in against Arsenal which turned the tide both in that game and in my game that weekend against The Phoenix.

Can I sustain this? Who cares? All I know is that my team's performance has reignited my interest in the league this season (at one point I was seriously considering following the Big Man's lead) and with a clutch of promising young players (Wilshere, Smalling, Rose to name 3) you can bet that a full English Boston Rock team will be competing for some time to come.

Now, if only Fabio can follow my lead and win stuff with a 100% English team...!

Co-ordinator Awards - £500k Team of the Season

Last one! More of the same but the players on this list were all bought for the knockdown price of 500,000 Fantasy Pounds. They're out there if you buy early enough, look hard enough or just get lucky.

GK: Thomas Sorensen (Artisans)

DEF: Jamie Carragher (Trusted), Ashley Cole, (Muppets), Richard Dunne (Artisans), Gael Givet (Artisans)

MID: Matt Etherington (CFJs), Cesc Fabregas (Mega Bucks), Steven Gerrard (Trusted), Antonio Valencia (Mega Bucks)

ATT: Jermain Defoe (Boston Rock), Wayne Rooney (Claymore)

Subs: Paul Robinson (Boston Rock), Leighton Baines (Artisans), Darren Fletcher (Muppets)/Abou Diaby (Phoenix)/Clint Dempsey (CFJs) , Gabriel Agbonlahor (Muppets)

2008/09
Sorensen (Given)
Terry, Carragher, Corluka, O'Shea (P.Neville)

Gerrard, Osman, Ireland, Brunt (D.Murphy)
Agbonlahor, K.Davies (Defoe)

2007/08
Howard (Keller, Robinson)
A.Cole, Carragher, Barry, Johnson (Terry)
Gerrard, Downing, Bentley, Hunt (J.Cole)
Rooney, Defoe (Kitson, Owen)

Co-ordinator Awards - English Team of the Season

Same rules as before but for the England-qualified WSFFL stars. Before you read on did you want to guess how many Boston Rockers appear...?

GK: Paul Robinson (Boston Rock)

DEF: Leighton Baines (Artisans), Jamie Carragher (Trusted), Ashley Cole (Muppets). John Terry (Boston Rock)

MID: David Dunn (Boston Rock), Steven Gerrard (Trusted), Frank Lampard (Boston Rock), James Milner (Boston Rock)

ATT: Darren Bent (Boston Rock), Wayne Rooney (Claymore)

Subs: Joe Hart (Dead Parrots), Glen Johnson (Boston Rock), Matt Etherington (CFJs), Jermain Defoe (Boston Rock)

2008/09
Robinson (James)
Lescott, Terry, Carragher, P.Neville (R.Ferdinand)
Gerrard, Lampard, Osman, M.Taylor (A.Young)
Bent, Agbonlahor (K.Davies)

2007/08
James (Green)
R.Ferdinand, Lescott, Brown, A.Cole (Carragher)
Lampard, Gerrard, Downing, Bentley (J.Cole)
Rooney, Defoe (Kitson and Owen)

Co-ordinator Awards - Team of the Season

(All awards are made on basis of contributions in all WSFFL competitions. Where there is a tie, contributions in league matches take precedence. Then I'll try and separate them by goals scored. Then perhaps alphabetical order or most interesting Wikipedia entry. Where you see two or more names as subs I still couldn't split them.)
 
GK: Peter Cech (Aardvark)

DEF: John Terry (Boston Rock), Chris Samba (CFJs), Richard Dunne (Artisans), Thomas Vermaelen (Muppets)

MID: Frank Lampard (Boston Rock), Cesc Fabregas (Mega Bucks), Florent Malouda (Muppets), Steven Gerrard (Trusted)

ATT: Carlos Tevez (Muppets), Didier Drogba (Fred West)

Subs: Thomas Sorensen (Artisans), Carlos Cuellar (Aardvark), Kevin-Prince Boateng (Trusted), Darren Bent (Boston Rock)

2008/09
Van der Sar (Reina)
Vidic, Lescott, Terry, Arbeloa (Carragher)
Gerrard, Lampard, Ronaldo, Fellaini (Geovanni)
Anelka, Bent (Agbonlahor)

2007/08
Reina (van der Sar)
R.Ferdinand, Lescott, Evra, Vidic (Brown)
Ronaldo, Lampard, Gerrard, Downing (Bentley)
Torres, Yakubu (Berbatov)

Co-ordinator Awards - Players of the Season

Awards are made on basis of contributions in all WSFFL competitions. Where there is a tie, contributions in league matches take precedence.

Player of the Season: Frank Lampard - You Know Your Boston Rock FC (21 goals)
2008/9: Nemanja Vidic
2007/8: Cristiano Ronaldo

Golden Boot: Frank Lampard - You Know Your Boston Rock FC (21 goals)
2008/9: Nicolas Anelka
2007/8: Cristiano Ronaldo

Golden Gloves: Petr Cech - Aardvark Abacus (15 cleans)
2008/9: Edwin van der Sar
2007/8: Jose Reina

Golden Shinpads: John Terry - You Know Your Boston Rock FC (two goals, 19 cleans)
2008/9: Nemanja Vidic
2007/8: Rio Ferdinand

Golden Box to Box: Frank Lampard - You Know Your Boston Rock FC (21 goals)
2008/9: Steven Gerrard
2007/8: Cristiano Ronaldo

Young Player of the Season: Thomas Vermaelen - Real Muppets (six goals, ten cleans)
2008/9: Gael Clichy and Vedran Corluka
2007/8: Cristiano Ronaldo

The WSFFL England Squad

My end of season Player Awards will be along over the next week or so but I thought I'd give Fabio Capello a hand and pick an England squad based on WSFFL performances. If he's stuck for a selection he could do worse than to check this list out...

Goalkeepers: Rob Green (Nil Satis), Joe Hart (Dead Parrots), Paul Robinson (Boston Rock)

Defenders: Leighton Baines (Fabulous Artisans), Jamie Carragher (Trusted), Ashley Cole (Real Muppets), Jody Craddock (Mega Bucks), Michael Dawson (Trusted), Danny Higginbotham (Fred West), Ryan Shawcross (Trusted), John Terry (Boston Rock), Stephen Warnock (Dead Parrots)

Midfielders: Matthew Etherington (CFJs), Steven Gerrard (Trusted), Frank Lampard (Boston Rock), James Milner (Boston Rock), Shaun Wright-Phillips (Boston Rock), Ashley Young (Fabulous Artisans)

Attackers: Darren Bent (Boston Rock), Carlton Cole (Final Fantasy), Peter Crouch (York's), Jermain Defoe (Boston Rock), Wayne Rooney (Claymore Ath)

One more defender and one fewer midfielder than I might have liked but that's the way the numbers have shaken out.

No place for David James who played second fiddle to Joe Hart at the Parrots this season and who did Paul Robinson offend to get overlooked? The much-injured Rio Ferdinand and Glen Johnson are passed over for surprise selections Higginbotham and Craddock.

The nature of our game means no defensive midfielders make the cut so a forward-looking midfield group with an emphasis on getting the ball wide. Up front, there's no place for Emile Heskey who had a ropey season at Mega Bucks. Okus rivals Final Fantasy get Carlton Cole in as a sole selection from that club.

Co-Ord Round-up Part Five - If we did things differently...

Calm down! I'm not suggesting we do! The way we compare scores against one other is what makes this the king of Fantasy Football games. But what if we did? The table below shows the finishing positions by number of 'contributions' (goals, cleans, saved penalties and own goals)*.

1. You Know Your Boston Rock FC - 123 (same place as real table)
2. Real Muppets - 112 (up two)
3. Aardvark Abacus - 107 (down one)
=4. The Fabulous Artisans - 103 (up one)
=4. Fred West Landscape Gardening XI - 103 (up one)
6. The Cow-Faced Juniors - 100 (up one)
7. Trusted By Millions - 98 (down four)
8. Claymore Athletic FC - 93 (up one)
9. Nil Satis Nisi Optimum - 79 (down one)
10. Athletic Phoenix -73 (same position)
11. Final Fantasy XI - 72 (up one)
12. Mega Buck Bandits - 66 (down one)
13. The Dead Parrots - 61 (up one)
14. San Dimas High School - 58 (down one)
15. Bassett Allsorts - 53 (same position)
16. York's Returning Glory - 40 (same position)

What can we glean from the above? Boston Rock should have been comfortable winners as opposed to scraping home. The Muppets should be our runners-up so were clearly unfortunate to get so many draws in the league. There was hardly anything between third and seventh with Trusted the losers on this scale.

Claymore must have been desperately unlucky not to have finished in the top half as there is clear separation if we look at the table in this way.

*That's if they're correct of course. I'm not checking!

Co-Ord Round-up Part Four - 1st-4th

1st You Know Your Boston Rock FC (up one place on 2008/09)
Our first ever treble winners. Five trophies out of the last six. Back-to-back Cup doubles. Six consecutive Cup finals. Equalling the league record of goals scored in a season - shall I stop there. It didn't appear to be the best of starts for Sheriff's men, just two wins out of the first eight matches, but boy did he get into a groove. The 'Sky Heroes' supremacy may be better judged by their 6-1 tonking of the Aardvarks in Week 28 rather than a three-point margin. We won't see a season like this again. Will we?
Star Player: Frank Lampard (19 goals)

2nd Aardvark Abacus (down one)
In the nine seasons of the 16-team league Ady's team have only once finished outside the top two. There was also a second consecutive PCMT runner-up plaque but that's little consolation to a team after back-to-back titles. £30.5m of Aardvark hard-earned went on Alberto Aquilani and Nikola Kalinic in the summer window for the princely return of one goal. There seems little wrong defensively with the 'Earth-Pigs' (taking Phil Jagielka from the Artisans looks a good purchase) but expect wallet-busting action if a proven goalscorer becomes available.
Star Players: Carlos Cuellar (one goal, 12 cleans) and Emmanuel Adebayor (13 goals)

3rd Trusted By Millions (same as last year)
Since winning the last 18-team title in 2000/1 Trusted have not finished higher than second or lower than 6th. Every year you feel like they will be major contenders but they manage to come up short. It was a ropey start to the season that did for Beef this time, managing only three victories and lying 12th a third of the way into the season. If Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres had managed more games than maybe TBM could have been top dogs again but is it that the back-up players are not up to the task?
Star Player: Fernando Torres (13 goals)

4th Real Muppets (up two)
The Muppets lost the same number of games as our champions but ten draws scuppered any chance of a second title in four seasons. Ryan's team didn't pick up a win in December and drew four of their last eight matches after briefly leading the league. Ryan couldn't seem to get the team all firing at the same time. Gaby Agbonlahor started hot and faded, Carlos Tevez came with a roar towards the end of the season, Ashley Cole came back from injury when Thomas Vermaelen was missing. Another team who needs to, and won't be afraid to, spend big on the right player at auction time.
Star Player: Carlos Tevez (20 goals)

Co-Ord Round-up Part Three - 5th-8th

5th The Fabulous Artisans (up two places)
Despite improving on last year's finishing position and setting 'franchise' records for wins and points Artisans manager Ben may feel a little disappointed with fifth place. The Goddard Stadium club spent the vast majority of the season in the top four and looked genuine title contenders. The manager has not been afraid to chop and change his squad or his team on matchdays and it doesn't take a great leap of faith to see them in the shake-up next season.
Star Player: Richard Dunne (two goals, 13 clean sheets)

6th Fred West Landscape Gardening XI (up four)
After last year's blip the Gardeners are heading towards where we might expect to find them. Fred's team notched their second-highest points return and were the league's third-highest scorers. They did lead the league for three weeks in the early part of the season but a winless January, when Didier Drogba was at the African Cup of Nations, started the slide. It's nearly ten years since the Cromwell Street club won some silverware and the trophy cabinet is now referred to as 'The Cabinet'!
Star Player: Didier Drogba (19 goals)

7th The Cow-Faced Juniors (down three)
Like Boston Rock the CFJs have played in the semi-finals of the last four cup competitions. Unlike Boston Rock they only have two runners-up plaques to show for it. Chris's team spent the last two-thirds of the season in 7th, 8th or 9th place and he may be more apprehensive than most about the next campaign. Plenty of the CFJs spent time in the sick bay last season and the manager will need to decide whether to trust them to return to some form or start a clear out.
Star Player: Chris Samba (four goals, 11 cleans)

8th Nil Satis Nisi Optimum (up three)
If Claymore are the mid-table specialists, Nil Satis are the nearest we have to a yo-yo team. The last four seasons have seen Paul's side finish 4th, 14th, 11th and now 8th. This time round they even topped the league for eight weeks and were second with two-thirds of the season completed. Seven defeats in the last ten games had the team looking over their shoulder and clinging on to a top-half finish. I think we can guess Paul's summer transfer policy, what we don't know is which direction they'll head in next.
Star Player: Heurelho Gomes (10 cleans, three saved penalties)

Co-Ord Round-up Part Two - 9th-12th

9th Claymore Athletic FC (down one place)
In the five years since Clive clinched back-to-back league titles his team have finished 6th, 10th, 9th, 8th and now 9th again. Claymore's points tallies in those seasons are 45, 39, 47, 43 and 44. There was little sign of the team breaking out of the mid-table morass this season despite Wayne Rooney's best efforts and also a steady back line including Tim Howard, Branislav Ivanovic and Gael Clichy. Something's missing to kick Clive back into contention. Can he solve that puzzle next season?
Star Player: Wayne Rooney (14 goals)

10th Athletico Phoenix (up three)
Brian came in after an enforced management change and didn't do half-badly, lifting this 'franchise' to its best position in the history of our 16-team league. The Phoenix were hampered by a long-term injury to top striker Robin van Persie and also the former incumbent who spent a packet on poor frontmen Ebanks-Blake, Benitez and Scotland. It will be interesting to see Brian's transfer policy develop and how he plans to build on this good start.
Star Player: Brad Friedel (12 cleans)

11th Mega Buck Bandits (up four)
Dave's got his team going back in the right direction after his worst-ever season last time out. Two dreadful runs stopped his season from being even better; one point from 21 at the start of the season, one point from 24 at the end. May have a windfall coming if he can't persuade talismanic midfielder Cesc Fabregas to stay but will need to invest better than the £11m spent on Alan Hutton or the £10.5m on David Healy to push for the top half next term
Star Player: Cesc Fabregas (12 goals)

12th Final Fantasy XI (up four)
Ceri matched her best finishing position in the last five seasons and picked up October's Manager of the Month award along the way. A run of 12 defeats in fifteen games through the winter stopped further improvement. Perhaps didn't get as much out of Andrei Arshavin as she might have liked and will need some support for Carlton Cole and a goalkeeper to keep the improvement going next season.
Star Player: Carlton Cole (eight goals)

Co-Ord Round-up Part One - 13th-16th

13th San Dimas High School (up one place on 2008/9)
Three words. Roque. Santa. Cruz. I decided to invest a club record £18m in the striker to boost my goals tally after a poor return the previous season. The Paraguayan was an injury-prone failure and could be looking at the exit. Another short term transfer mistake was shipping out John Terry thinking I'd had the best out of him. In came the Da Silva brothers who hardly played. My transfer policy needs to change, and quickly!
Star Player: Paul Scharner (two goals, five cleans)

14th The Dead Parrots (down five)
If Santa Cruz was a poor investment how about £19m for Gareth Barry? After two seasons in the top ten the Kenwyne Jones and Kevin Davies goals dried up and the Parrots headed South. 31 goals in a season is the Parrots' worst return since we went to a 16-team league and an obvious area of focus for the manager. Dean has much to ponder if he's going to get this team to ruffle a few feathers again.
Star Player: Stephen Warnock (nine cleans)

15th Bassett Allsorts (down ten)
A season of upheaval which saw long term manager Rich leave the league and the Groove Machine repackaged as Bassett Allsorts. Ben using the team name with which he took our first ever league title. The manager hasn't been able to be as hands-on as he might have liked since he joined though and will have to work harder and improve the team in all areas if he's going to climb the league any time soon.
Star Players: Brede Hangeland (one goal, eight cleans) and Benoit Assou-Ekotto (nine cleans)

16th York's Returning Glory (down four)
A year after his best finish in a 16-team season Julian occupies bottom-spot for the fourth season out of five. The 2008/9 'success' was based on a strong defence and that melted away this season. Peter Crouch was quiet up front, record signing Fabian Delph hardly featured and it all led to the joint-lowest points title in ten years. There is much to do to get this squad back on track.
Star Player: Manuel Almunia (nine cleans, 2 saved penalties)

Goals for Goalies

In response to a query I thought it was worth adding this one to the Rulebook section.

If a goalie makes a save from a penalty, and a goal does not ensue from the next phase of play, then the goalie scores a goal in our game, irrespective of whether or not he goes on to keep a clean sheet in the same game.

To define "next phase" - if the goalie saves it but a goal is scored from the rebound, then it's no goal to the goalie; if the goalie saves it and then the defence clear it, or it goes for a corner, then the goalie scores a goal.

If the player taking the spot kick blasts it over or wide or strikes wood, then this is a miss, not a save, and therefore no goal will be rewarded to the goalkeeper.

The season in numbers

20,000,000 - The biggest expenditure on a single player this season. By the Muppets for Thomas Vermaelen. Looks a very good signing.

19,000,000 - Oh dear. The amount that the Parrots spent on Gareth Barry. One league and one cup goal is all he has to show for it. I can't remember who bid £18m but I bet they're relieved!

18,000,000 - And to show I'm not immune from criticism, that's how much I spent on Roque Santa Cruz.

1024 - The number of emails in my WSFFL mailbox at time of writing.

302 - The number of players who made contributions (goals, cleans and saved penalties) in WSFFL competitions.

123 - The number of contributions for Boston Rock. That's 11 more than their nearest rivals (the Muppets).

29 - The number of own goals in all competitions. Extraordinary.

20 - League goals scored by Carlos Tevez, making him our player of the season. (More end of season awards and reviews at http://blogspot.com over the next few weeks)

13 - The number of times Aardvark Abacus played in the most lucrative match of the week (the most). Claymore and San Dimas were the only teams not to feature in the game of the week.

12 - The number of managers still to tell me whether they're continuing in the game next season. (Perhaps not many people read to the end of the round-up this week!)

6 - The number of teams that led the league at some point this season. Boston Rock, Aardvark and Nil Satis all clocked up eight weeks, Fred three, the Muppets two and the Artisans one.

5 - The number of defeats for Boston Rock in all competitions. 5-4 to Nil Satis (wk 5), 4-1 to Claymore (wk 8), 4-1 to the Parrots (wk 14), 3-2 to the Artisans (wk 18), 1-0 to the Muppets (wk 19)

3 - The number of teams not to pick up a MOTM award. San Dimas, Parrots and York's if you were wondering.

1 - The number of games in which Boston Rock failed to trouble the scorers.

0 - The number of goals scored in WSFFL competitions by James Beattie, David Bentley, Benni McCarthy, Roman Pavlyuchenko and Jason Roberts amongst others.

Week 30 Results

Aardvark Abacus 4 v 0 York’s Returning Glory
Bassett Allsorts 0 v 0 Mega Buck Bandits
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 4 v 2 Claymore Athletic FC
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 1 v 2 San Dimas High School
Real Muppets 5 v 1 Athletico Phoenix
The Cow-Faced Juniors 5 v 1 Final Fantasy XI
Trusted By Millions 3 v 3 The Fabulous Artisans
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 4 v 2 The Dead Parrots

Congratulations to You Know Your Boston Rock FC on the completion of the unprecedented WSFFL Treble.

Close Season Procedures

Transfers

Relegated Players

After the season finishes you have until 1 June to tell me if you would like to retain any of your relegated players. After this date I will remove them from your squads and credit your bank balances with half their value. If by some miracle they are picked up by a Premier League club over the summer the manager in question will be given first refusal to take that player back for the amount of compensation they received. Their value in the game will be as it was before relegation.

If you think the player concerned may be in for a big money move you may want to retain him. I can't think of many other reasons for doing so.

This system is much easier for me to employ than any sort of piecemeal dumping through the summer. If you are thinking of hanging on in case they come back please think again. There is a reason why they've been relegated.

The Pool

Purchases - The pool will shut for purchases when the last games of the season kick-off. It will not re-open until after the pre-season auction.

Dumps - The pool stays open for you to dump players. Once again I will give you a player dump 'amnesty' and because of the Word Cup I will stretch this until 31 July. This will give you time to work out whether any of your players are retiring, leaving on frees, returning after loan etc. and give you the opportunity to cash in. After this date, if I contact you before you get in touch with me you could lose players in this situation for nothing. Sorry, but them's the rules!

If you dump any players from non-relegated teams (contract expired, loanees, that sort of thing) you won't be offered them under the 'first refusal' rule. They'll go into the 'summer pool' and under the hammer at the August auction.

Players with with the three relegated clubs will be immediately removed from the pool.

Undisclosed Fees

As usual SoccerNet will be the source for transfer fees throughout the close season. In the situation of an 'Undisclosed' fee being recorded you will be offered what was paid for the player. If you would like to query an undisclosed fee please send me links to reputable websites' transfer centres or news stories which agree on a fee. I will not accept newspaper cuttings, fan sites or collaboration sites such as Wikipedia that can be easily altered.

Private Deals

In the rare event that you want to transfer between clubs please get on with it and let me know.

Re-categorisations

At some point in the summer we will run our annual re-categorisation exercise. Every player in the game will have their position in WSFFL compared with the position stated on the squad section of their official club website.
If a player's categorisation differs the manager of that player will be notified by the co-ordinator and can take one of the following courses of action*.

1)    Accept the decision
2)    Appeal the decision providing evidence why the decision should be overturned
3)    Accept the fee they paid for the player in reimbursement and release the player from their squad into the 'summer pool'

If a manager chooses to appeal a decision and that appeal is unsuccessful they will be deemed to have retained the player and will not subsequently be offered the chance to accept the fee paid in reimbursement.
*The time period for making a decision will be set by the co-ordinator.

Week 29 Results

Athletico Phoenix 1 v 4 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Bassett Allsorts 0 v 2 Trusted By Millions
Claymore Athletic FC 1 v 1 Real Muppets
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 3 v 0 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Mega Buck Bandits 1 v 2 Final Fantasy XI
San Dimas High School 0 v 4 Aardvark Abacus
The Fabulous Artisans 2 v 3 The Cow-Faced Juniors
York’s Returning Glory 0 v 0 The Dead Parrots

Boston Rock just about there, it would take a couple of strange results to deny them now.

Week 28 Results

Athletico Phoenix 0 v 4 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Final Fantasy XI 0 v 3 Trusted By Millions
San Dimas High School 0 v 2 Claymore Athletic FC (revised from 0-1)
The Cow-Faced Juniors 2 v 0 Mega Buck Bandits
The Dead Parrots 2 v 2 Real Muppets
The Fabulous Artisans 6 v 3 Bassett Allsorts
York’s Returning Glory 0 v 1 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 5 v 2 Aardvark Abacus (revised from 6-1)

A big stride towards the treble for Boston Rock.

WSFFL FA Cup Final Result

The Cow-Faced Juniors 1
Bale 44

v (1)

You Know Your Boston Rock FC 5
Defoe 15p, Bent 41, Lampard 90, Smalling [c], Dann [c]

At Wembley, Att: 90,000

Teams

CFJs: Stech; Pantsil, Onuoha, Bale, Song; Lennon, Gomez, Utaka, Etherington; Piquionne, Anelka    Subs - Van der Sar; Bridge; M.Petrov; McFadden

Boston Rock: Robinson; Turner, Johnson, Smalling, Dann;  Dunn, Lampard, Milner, Wilshere; Bent, Defoe     Sub - Fielding; Terry; Wright-Phillips; Jerome     

The CFJs had been on the back-foot from early in the game but it took a controversial penalty award to break the deadlock. The referee spotted a handball in the CFJs area but TV replays proved inconclusive. Jermain Defoe hasn't had the greatest record from the spot in recent times but slammed home emphatically on this occasion. There was little reaction from Chris's team to going behind and when Boston Rock doubled their lead before half time few could have been surprised. Darren Bent has been the man for the big occasion recently and he struck his 3rd successive Cup Final goal from close range four minutes before the break. Finally the CFJs were spurred into action and Gareth Bale, in a man of the match performance on the losing side, beat Paul Robinson at his near post with a firm shot from just outside the area to almost immediately reduce the deficit.

The heavy Wembley pitch seemed to take its toll more on Chris's team than Sheriff's treble-chasers in the second half. With the exception of Bale the CFJs never really looked like troubling the league leaders with some of their players appearing not to 'turn up' (that's such a lazy sporting cliché but I use it in the literal sense here). A third goal for the Sky Heroes always seemed likely and Sheriff's Mr Reliable Frank Lampard slid home from six yards in injury time to settle matters. The CFJs were left so despondent they hardly noticed Chris Smalling and Scott Dann adding clean sheets. Chris will be hoping for third time lucky but it's another trophy in the Whitby Grove Enormodome cabinet.

WSFFL FA Cup Final - The Teams

In case you want to watch the game unfold yourselves, here are the teams...

The Cow-Faced Juniors

Gk - Stech       Sub - Van der Sar
Def - Pantsil, Onuoha, Bale, Song     Sub - Bridge
Mid - Lennon, Gomez, Utaka, Etherington     Sub - M.Petrov
Att - Piquionne, Anelka     Sub - McFadden

You Know Your Boston Rock FC

Gk - Robinson       Sub - Fielding
Def - Turner, Johnson, Smalling, Dann      Sub - Terry
Mid - Dunn, Lampard, Milner, Wilshere     Sub - Wright-Phillips
Att - Bent, Defoe       Sub - Jerome

Changes to this post will be made if and when I am advised of any.

WSFFL FA Cup Final - The Contenders

You Know Your Boston Rock FC - The Holders
Current League Position: 1st

The Cow-Faced Juniors - Last Year's Beaten Finalists
Current League Position: 9th

Route to the Final

The CFJs
Semi-final - beat York's Returning Glory 4-3 (after two 1-1 draws)
Quarter-final - beat Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 6-0
First Round - beat Final Fantasy XI 5-0

Boston Rock
Semi-final - beat Trusted By Millions 3-0
Quarter-final - beat Real Muppets 3-2
First Round - beat The Dead Parrots 2-0

Recent Meetings
2009/10
Week 27 - CFJs 3 Boston Rock 3
Week 1 - Boston Rock 1 CFJs 1

2008/9
FA Cup Final - Boston Rock 2 CFJs 0
Week 23 - Boston Rock 3 CFJs 0
Week 4 - CFJs 1 Boston Rock 1

2007/8
Week 18 - Boston Rock 1 Eleven Imaginary Boys 3
Week 5 - Eleven Imaginary Boys 3 Boston Rock 0

Good luck to both managers. 

Week 27 Results

Aardvark Abacus 5 v 0 The Dead Parrots
Bassett Allsorts 0 v 2 San Dimas High School
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 1 v 0 The Fabulous Artisans
Mega Buck Bandits 0 v 3 Claymore Athletic FC
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 3 v 1 Athletico Phoenix
Real Muppets 4 v 1 Final Fantasy XI
The Cow-Faced Juniors 3 v 3 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Trusted By Millions 3 v 0 York’s Returning Glory

Setbacks for Boston Rock and the Artisans as the title race takes yet another twist.

Week 26 Results

Bassett Allsorts 1 v 3 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Claymore Athletic FC 1 v 0 The Dead Parrots
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 1 v 1 The Cow-Faced Juniors
Mega Buck Bandits 1 v 4 Athletico Phoenix
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 3 v 4 Aardvark Abacus
San Dimas High School 1 v 2 Final Fantasy XI
The Fabulous Artisans 4 v 1 York’s Returning Glory
Trusted By Millions 2 v 2 Real Muppets

The top three all win. What will be the next twist in the title race.

The Title Run-in

Five games to go, five teams could win the league, time for a look at the respective run-ins...

Week 26

Bassett Allsorts v BOSTON ROCK
Nil Satis v AARDVARKS
ARTISANS v York's
TRUSTED v MUPPETS

Week 27

AARDVARKS v Parrots
Fred West v ARTISANS
MUPPETS v Final Fantasy
CFJs v BOSTON ROCK
TRUSTED v York's

Week 28

Final Fantasy v TRUSTED
ARTISANS v Bassett Allsorts
Parrots v MUPPETS
BOSTON ROCK v AARDVARKS

Week 29

Bassett Allsorts v TRUSTED
Claymore v MUPPETS
Phoenix v BOSTON ROCK
San Dimas v AARDVARKS
ARTISANS v CFJs

Week 30

AARDVARKS v York's
MUPPETS v Phoenix
TRUSTED v ARTISANS
BOSTON ROCK v Parrots

So who's run-in would you choose? Will the title race go to the final day?

Week 25 (and Cup SF 2nd Replay) Result

FA Cup semi-final 2nd Replay

York’s Returning Glory 3 v 4 The Cow-Faced Juniors

Finally, a winner!

League Week Number: 25

Aardvark Abacus 0 v 3 Trusted By Millions
Athletico Phoenix 0 v 2 The Fabulous Artisans
Final Fantasy XI 4 v 1 Claymore Athletic FC
Real Muppets 6 v 0 Mega Buck Bandits
The Cow-Faced Juniors 1 v 0 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
The Dead Parrots 0 v 2 Bassett Allsorts
York’s Returning Glory 3 v 1 San Dimas High School
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 6 v 5 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI

Boston Rock back on top, definitely a five-horse race with five games to go. The bottom three all win too!