Week 30 Results - Muppets do it in Style

Cheese Makers 1 v 1 Mega Buck Bandits

Garth Crooks' Team of the Week 1 v 2 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 

Markian United 1 v 2 Claymore Athletic FC

Real Muppets 7 v 0 Wheel Madrid

San Dimas High School 1 v 2 The Fabulous Artisans

Stanley and Gracie United 2 v 2 Aardvark Abacus 

The Cow-Faced Juniors 3 v 3 YTFIB

Trusted By Millions 0 v 0 The Wateringhole Society

	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	Real Muppets	30	18	6	6	72	40	32	60
2	The Cow-Faced Juniors	30	17	4	9	84	56	28	55
3	Cheese Makers	30	16	7	7	70	46	24	55
4	The Wateringhole Society	30	15	8	7	67	43	24	53
5	Trusted By Millions	30	15	7	8	82	57	25	52
6	The Fabulous Artisans	30	14	4	12	65	58	7	46
7	Stanley and Gracie United	30	13	6	11	61	58	3	45
8	San Dimas High School	30	13	4	13	55	53	2	43
9	Claymore Athletic FC	30	13	3	14	56	70	-14	42
10	Markian United	30	12	5	13	50	51	-1	41
11	Aardvark Abacus	30	11	6	13	63	65	-2	39
12	Garth Crooks' Team of the Week	30	11	6	13	58	62	-4	39
13	YTFIB	30	10	4	16	41	53	-12	34
14	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	30	9	2	19	38	75	-37	29
15	Mega Buck Bandits	30	7	3	20	32	71	-39	24
16	Wheel Madrid	30	6	5	19	31	67	-36	23

In the end there was absolutely no bother for Real Muppets as they crushed Wheel Madrid 7-0 to take their second title. Only eighth after week 12, Ryan’s team clicked into gear, hit the top in week 18 and were never dislodged. The Muppets survived injuries to Erling Haaland and Kevin De Bruyne along the way with a solid defence stepping up. Ryan’s not one to dodge, or even change his team that much, and taking the title after three successive tenth places gives hope to us all.

When the CFJs’ management team sit down for their end of season debrief they’ll wonder how this one got away. Six straight defeats between weeks 17 and 22 undid all the good work. Top on a lot of metrics this season you’d fancy them to be thereabouts again next season.

Cheese Makers had their best ever season that kept them in the title race to the very last week . I’m sure Matthew is more than happy with third place but there might be a tiny bit of him that thinks this is one that got away. Can he build on this next year?

Will Kiran be disappointed with ‘only’ winning the Charity Shield and FA Cup this season? A treble looked on for the Wateringhole Society but one win in the last five league matches was the undoing of that hope. Another team you’d expect at the sharp end next season.

Similar can be said for Trusted. They were my favourites for much of the season (sorry Beef!) but they couldn’t quite recover from a dodgy start and then finished with two wins in the last nine games. It’s six straight seasons in the top five but five years since a title.

After four straight years in the top three the Artisans fell to sixth, their joint-lowest in the last ten seasons. Don’t expect Ben to accept this lying down - he’ll be back fighting again next year.

No sooner did SGU get into the fringes of the title race than their form collapsed winning just one of their last eight. Forced into playing one up front for most of the season Aaron will be looking for striking back-up this summer.

San Dimas are eighth for the fifth time in the last nine seasons. My team haven’t finished higher than seventh for ten years now. One of the many teams that will be fighting for a striker in the summer.

Claymore picked up the PCMT but finished outside the top half for the fourth time in the last seven seasons. There was a bit (lot?) less tinkering this season but the scouting team haven’t always been getting things right.

There was a first for Markian this season as they topped the league (in week 13) after knocking on the door for much of the first half of the campaign. That was the highlight though and there was just four wins after that.

There was no sort of title defence from the Aardvarks and they sank to their lowest finish this century. Stats would suggest Ady’s team were a bit unlucky and I can’t see this happening again next year.

GC TotW had a dream start being top after week 11 and in touch at the mid-way point. Ollie’s team only picked up 12 points in the second half of the season though. With a year under his belt he’ll look to properly shape his squad now.

YTFIB finished top of the bottom four! Julian’s team were looking good for more too but only three wins in the last 14 games put an end to hopes of a top ten finish. Still a great effort for a team with only one signing over £6m.

Like Julian’s team Nil Satis aren’t unfamiliar with the fight against propping up the league. Paul’s team won their last three games to dodge that ‘honour’. If Everton are better next year will Nil Satis be too?

Mega Buck Bandits haven’t finished bottom of the table but looked odds on for that until they grabbed their last day point. It’s 15th place twice in the last three seasons for Dave though. It’s not a positive trend.

So bottom spot went to Wheel Madrid for the first time. Chris Wood did his best for Paul but there weren’t a lot of other big contributors. It’s six seasons since Wheels troubled the top ten.

Week 30 Results - Points record for Aardvarks

Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 1 v 1 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 

Markian United 3 v 1 San Dimas High School

Mega Buck Bandits 3 v 3 The Wateringhole Society 

Real Muppets 2 v 4 The Cow-Faced Juniors

Stanley and Gracie United 3 v 0 Cheese Makers 

Trusted By Millions 6 v 3 Claymore Athletic FC 

Wheel Madrid 0 v 4 The Fabulous Artisans

YTFIB 0 v 1 Aardvark Abacus 

	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	Aardvark Abacus	30	23	2	5	103	50	53	71
2	The Fabulous Artisans	30	18	2	10	74	50	24	56
3	The Cow-Faced Juniors	30	17	4	9	71	61	10	55
4	Trusted By Millions	30	16	6	8	102	68	34	54
5	The Wateringhole Society	30	16	3	11	75	64	11	51
6	Stanley and Gracie United	30	16	2	12	62	57	5	50
7	Claymore Athletic FC	30	15	4	11	64	52	12	49
8	Markian United	30	14	2	14	57	68	-11	44
9	San Dimas High School	30	13	4	13	67	59	8	43
10	Real Muppets	30	12	7	11	67	62	5	43
11	Mega Buck Bandits	30	10	7	13	51	58	-7	37
12	Cheese Makers	30	10	5	15	56	67	-11	35
13	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	30	9	6	15	59	72	-13	33
14	Wheel Madrid	30	5	9	16	47	80	-33	24
15	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	30	5	6	19	31	67	-36	21
16	YTFIB	30	4	5	21	31	82	-51	17

Aardvark Abacus got the win they needed (1-0 at YTFIB) to make this a multiple-record breaking season. Watkins and Son scored 31 league goals between them and Ben White was a solid presence at the back. Just one league defeat since week ten shows the level of dominance. It’s been eight years since a team has won back-to-back titles, could Ady re-set that stat next season?

Runner-up spot went to The Fabulous Artisans for the fourth time. Top until week 12 Ben’s team suffered a massive winter wobble winning just six times in the league between December and the end of April. Might need another striker to take some pressure of Nicolas Jackson if he’s finally to reach the top step.

The Cow-Faced Juniors finished in the top three for a second season running. Always on the back-foot after just four wins in the opening nine, third place seems a good return. One of the league’s best midfields but one of many teams that’ll be pursuing a goalscorer in the summer.

How on earth did Trusted By Millions miss out on a top three place? Just as prolific as the Aardvarks in the scoring department there was a duff period in early season (six without a win) that probably made the difference. At least has the Charity Shield to show for the season’s work.

The Wateringhole Society’s season was compromised from the off by Ivan Toney’s absence until January. Marcus Rashford and Cody Gakpo didn’t step up and new signing Christopher Nkunku missed much of the campaign through injury. Expect better next year.

While they were chasing second for a while Stanley and Gracie United can be content with maximising their resources to finish sixth. Dominic Solanke starred for SGU and Aaron has an excellent young player in Harry Wilson. Can he resist daft Chelsea signings this summer though?

Claymore Athletic FC were in the second place race for a while but ended seventh. It’s a big step up on last year’s bottom place for Clive. He still tinkered but at least tinkered a bit better and he’ll be hoping that big signing Rasmus Hojlund will improve after a year getting to grips with the league.

The last place in the top half went to Markian United. Ian’s team were second after week 12 but a spectacularly poor run of just one win in 12 league games put an end to a high finish. It was always going to be difficult to replace Harry Kane, Darwin Nunez has not looked the man to do that yet.

San Dimas High School were doing their best work in the last couple of months and finished ninth for the second season running when Havertz and Gvardiol started to click. My team are definitely another in the market for a 15 goals+ a season striker but they don’t grow on trees.

An FA Cup win, beaten in the PCMT Final, Phil Foden, Erling Haaland, De Bruyne, Ederson - yet only tenth place for Real Muppets, for the third season running. Ryan will be having a close look at the missing pieces of his jigsaw and see what it takes to get him back in the upper reaches of the table.

Mega Buck Bandits finished 11th. As Dave has only finished in the top half once in 16 seasons this isn’t too much of a surprise. There will be a question mark over the future of Carlton Morris and Dave can’t rely on Michail Antonio like he used to.

Cheese Makers were in fourth after week nine but fell away badly after that. Bryan Mbeumo’s injury played a part in Matthew’s slide while he missed Tyrone Mings and Manor Solomon for practically the whole season. Still one or two players away from where he wants to be.

It was a familiar pattern for Fred West Landscape Gardening XI. Over the last six seasons the year after winning the title is followed by a fallow year. Bruno Fernandes and Morgan Gibbs-White did their best but there are signs of Mo Salah slowing down. A rebuild beckons.

Wheel Madrid will care less than most about their league position after winning their first trophy, the PCMT. Paul’s team picked up after that cup win (with only 6 points from the first half of the season that wasn’t too difficult) and will have hopes of a better showing next season.

Nil Satis Nisi Optimum were another team who made a shocking start, just five points at the mid-point of the season. Lost just once out of the last seven games to avoid the wooden spoon. Paul S isn’t going to change so watch out for those Everton signings again.

And then we come to YTFIB. No team has finished bottom more than Julian’s but that looked a long shot after 12 weeks when they were sat on 15 points in twelfth. Only two more points followed all season. Is this the worst run ever? Can I be bothered to find out?