Week 30 Results - Aardvarks take third

Cheese Makers 2 v 0 San Dimas High School 

Mega Buck Bandits 1 v 0 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

Real Muppets 2 v 0 Markian United

Stanley and Gracie United 3 v 4 Aardvark Abacus 

The Fabulous Artisans 1 v 3 Trusted By Millions 

The Wateringhole Society 0 v 1 The Cow-Faced Juniors

Wheel Madrid 3 v 1 Garth Crooks' Team of the Week

YTFIB 2 v 4 Claymore Athletic FC

	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	The Fabulous Artisans	30	19	5	6	64	39	25	62
2	Real Muppets	30	19	3	8	69	44	25	60
3	Aardvark Abacus	30	16	6	8	61	46	15	54
4	The Cow-Faced Juniors	30	15	7	8	70	48	22	52
5	The Wateringhole Society	30	16	2	12	71	56	15	50
6	Stanley and Gracie United	30	14	8	8	63	52	11	50
7	Cheese Makers	30	14	7	9	68	53	15	49
8	Trusted By Millions	30	13	5	12	62	49	13	44
9	Claymore Athletic FC	30	12	4	14	55	57	-2	40
10	Garth Crooks' Team of the Week	30	11	5	14	42	52	-10	38
11	San Dimas High School	30	8	12	10	41	57	-16	36
12	Markian United	30	9	7	14	50	50	0	34
13	Mega Buck Bandits	30	10	4	16	41	58	-17	34
14	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	30	7	6	17	35	70	-35	27
15	YTFIB	30	7	5	18	40	66	-26	26
16	Wheel Madrid	30	4	6	20	29	64	-35	18

After finishing second in the league four times the Fabulous Artisans finally lifted the championship trophy. Ben will be grateful that he built up such a lead as final day defeat to Trusted meant he picked up just one point from his last four games. The Artisans title win was based on an outstanding defence. No team picked up more clean sheets which accounted for two-thirds of his counters. 

The Muppets are the first side to finish runners-up after a title win the year before since Fred in 2018. The Artisans’ drop-off meant that Ryan’s team was one win short of retaining the title. Back to back defeats to SGU and Cheese Makers in weeks 24 and 25 left them with too much to do. Injury to Jurrien Timber and an Erling Haaland scoring drop-off were unhelpful in the latter stages of the season.

After a worst-ever finish of 11th last season the Aardvarks bounced back to third with a last day win over SGU in a seven-goal thriller. Ady’s team finished strongest of all (five wins in a row) in a tight tussle for the minor placings.

The CFJs are unbeaten in the league since Week 20 but four draws in that run ended their hopes of making the top three for a fourth straight year. They did pick up the PCMT though.

No team scored more counters than The Wateringhole Society but Kiran’s team faded this year winning just four of their last 14 league games.

SGU looked set for third place two minutes into the second half and leading the Aardvarks 3-0 but they couldn’t hold on. Aaron’s team have finished sixth or seventh for the last five years.

Cheese Makers stuck an incredible 15-game unbeaten together but the damage had been done by a poor start. They do have their first trophy, the Charity Shield, to show for their season.

Apart from that record-breaking 10-0 win over Nil Satis it was a rotten start to the season for Trusted. Beef’s team turned 13 points at halfway into 44 at the end to take the last top-half spot.

Claymore probably deserved better than ninth if we look at bare numbers. Clive’s team never really found their groove, with their best unbeaten run only stretching to three games.

GC TotW finished two places better but one point worse than last season. Go figure. Morgan Gibbs-White starred for Ollie as Mohamed Salah faded.

San Dimas fell out of their usual 8th or 9th place to 11th. Somehow won the FA Cup but scored the fewest actual goals of any team in the league. Easy to see where improvements need to be made.

Markian were fourth after Week eight but a run of just two wins in 13 games from December to March killed off any hopes of a decent finish for Ian.

Mega Bucks were in the top half as late as Week 17 before settling into their usual late season malaise. Dave has just one finish that doesn’t start with a 1 in the last 19 seasons.

Nil Satis have just one top ten finish in the last 15 seasons. This season did show promise until week 17, he picked up just four more points after that.

YTFIB spent the first five weeks out of the bottom three before slipping into familiar territory. Probably a bit unlucky to be this low and four wins out of five from week 21 handed bottom spot to...

… Wheel Madrid for the second season running. Shorn of last season’s top scorer and this season’s record signing it was always looking difficult. But Paul’s team also recorded the fewest clean sheets.

Week 29 Results - The Artisans are Champions

Aardvark Abacus 4 v 2 The Wateringhole Society

Cheese Makers 1 v 2 Stanley and Gracie United 

Claymore Athletic FC 1 v 2 Wheel Madrid 

Mega Buck Bandits 3 v 1 YTFIB

Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 1 v 3 Garth Crooks' Team of the Week

San Dimas High School 3 v 0 The Fabulous Artisans 

The Cow-Faced Juniors 1 v 1 Markian United 

Trusted By Millions 2 v 1 Real Muppets

	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	The Fabulous Artisans	29	19	5	5	63	36	27	62
2	Real Muppets	29	18	3	8	67	44	23	57
3	Aardvark Abacus	29	15	6	8	57	43	14	51
4	The Wateringhole Society	29	16	2	11	71	55	16	50
5	Stanley and Gracie United	29	14	8	7	60	48	12	50
6	The Cow-Faced Juniors	29	14	7	8	69	48	21	49
7	Cheese Makers	29	13	7	9	66	53	13	46
8	Trusted By Millions	29	12	5	12	59	48	11	41
9	Garth Crooks' Team of the Week	29	11	5	13	41	49	-8	38
10	Claymore Athletic FC	29	11	4	14	51	55	-4	37
11	San Dimas High School	29	8	12	9	41	55	-14	36
12	Markian United	29	9	7	13	50	48	2	34
13	Mega Buck Bandits	29	9	4	16	40	58	-18	31
14	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	29	7	6	16	35	69	-34	27
15	YTFIB	29	7	5	17	38	62	-24	26
16	Wheel Madrid	29	3	6	20	26	63	-37	15

The Artisans got there. A 3-0 defeat to San Dimas (my first win in the league since week 18) had Ben quickly turning his attention to the Muppets game at Trusted. Eli Kroupi fired Beef ahead after 39 minutes but as the clocked ticked down Erling Haaland fired in an equaliser. A Muppets winner would have taken the title fight to the last weekend but it was Trusted that took the points with new signing Jaka Bijol getting a clean on debut.

The third place battle still isn’t settled but the Aardvarks are in pole position after beating the Wateringhole Society 4-2. Morgan Rogers and Antonee Robinson had Ady two up at half-time, Ollie Watkins scored twice in the second before Kiran found a couple of cleans to reduce the deficit. SGU join TWS on 50 points after a 2-1 win at Cheese Makers. Two headed goals from Virgil van Dijk, either side of Bryan Mbeumo’s goal for Matthew, gives Aaron a shot at getting on the league honours board again. 

The CFJs need the three teams above them not to win if they’re to take third after a 1-1 draw with Markian. Ismaila Sarr struck an early penalty for Ian, Gabriel’s clean rescued a point for the Cows. GC TotW are enjoying their best run of the season and are up to ninth after beating Nil Satis 3-1. Brian Brobbey and Morgan Gibbs-White were on target for Ollie, Joel Valtman added a clean. 

Claymore will miss out on a spot in the top half for a second straight season after defeat to Wheel Madrid. Paul W went ahead with a first half Victor Lindelof clean which was levelled by a controversial Matheus Cunha goal. A brilliant John McGinn strike in the last minute gave Wheels a rare win. Two goals from Dango Ouattara and one from Enzo Le Fee gave Mega Bucks a 3-1 win over YTFIB. It guarantees Dave 13th place. Which is nice.

Week 28 Results - Artisans kept waiting

Aardvark Abacus 3 v 1 San Dimas High School 

Claymore Athletic FC 0 v 0 Mega Buck Bandits 

Garth Crooks' Team of the Week 2 v 1 YTFIB 

Markian United 2 v 2 The Fabulous Artisans 

Real Muppets 3 v 1 The Wateringhole Society 

The Cow-Faced Juniors 2 v 2 Stanley and Gracie United 

Trusted By Millions 3 v 0 Cheese Makers 

Wheel Madrid 0 v 2 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	The Fabulous Artisans	28	19	5	4	63	33	30	62
2	Real Muppets	28	18	3	7	66	42	24	57
3	The Wateringhole Society	28	16	2	10	69	51	18	50
4	The Cow-Faced Juniors	28	14	6	8	68	47	21	48
5	Aardvark Abacus	28	14	6	8	53	41	12	48
6	Stanley and Gracie United	28	13	8	7	58	47	11	47
7	Cheese Makers	28	13	7	8	65	51	14	46
8	Trusted By Millions	28	11	5	12	57	47	10	38
9	Claymore Athletic FC	28	11	4	13	50	53	-3	37
10	Garth Crooks' Team of the Week	28	10	5	13	38	48	-10	35
11	Markian United	28	9	6	13	49	47	2	33
12	San Dimas High School	28	7	12	9	38	55	-17	33
13	Mega Buck Bandits	28	8	4	16	37	57	-20	28
14	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	28	7	6	15	34	66	-32	27
15	YTFIB	28	7	5	16	37	59	-22	26
16	Wheel Madrid	28	2	6	20	24	62	-38	12

The Artisans still not quite there after being held 2-2 by Markian. Ben’s team needed a late fightback to grab that point too. Ian was two up through goals from Ismaila Sarr and Rayan, Omar Marmoush fired across the keeper two minutes into injury time to pull one back and Marc Guehi’s equalising clean edges Ben closer to his first title. The Muppets won again to keep the race alive, beating the Wateringhole 3-1. Ryan’s team flew into a two goal lead inside six minutes through Jack Hinshelwood and James Tarkowski. Harvey Barnes gave Kiran hope after 74 minutes but that was extinguished a minute later by Erling Haaland.

The CFJs and SGU stay in the third place fight after a 2-2 draw. Goals from Enzo Fernandez and Zian Flemming had Aaron’s team on top but the Cows were rescued by cleans from Gabriel and Nassar Mazraoui. Sandwiched between these teams are the Aardvarks. (Mmmm… Aardvark sandwich.) Ady’s team saw off San Dimas 3-1 thanks to goals from Lewis Dunk and Ollie Watkins plus a Dunk clean.

A first league defeat for Cheese Makers since Week 12 probably sees the end of Matthew’s third place hopes. The Cheese went down 3-0 to Trusted (Beto, Jean-Philippe Mateta and Leandro Trossard all on target for Beef) who are in the top half of the table for the first time this season. Trusted bumped Claymore down to ninth after Clive’s team were held 0-0 by Mega Bucks. That’s a first point for Dave after six straight defeats.

After an excellent early Ryan Gravenberch strike for YTFIB Julian’s team were beaten 2-1 at GC TotW. Ollie turned it round with cleans from Lisandro Martinez and Joel Veltman. Nil Satis landed their first win since week 17, 2-0 at Wheel Madrid. Jeremy Doku and Dominic Calvert-Lewin (from the spot) got the goals for Paul S that keeps Paul W in danger of equalling a couple of unwanted records.