PCMT 1st Round results - The holders go through

Cheese Makers 1 v 4 The Cow-Faced Juniors

Garth Crooks’ Team of the Week 1 v 2 Trusted By Millions 

Mega Buck Bandits 4 v 2 The Wateringhole Society

Nil Satis Nisi Optum 1 v 5 Claymore Athletic FC 

Real Muppets 0 v 2 The Fabulous Artisans 

San Dimas High School 3 v 2 Aardvark Abacus 

Wheel Madrid 2 v 1 Stanley and Gracie United 

YTFIB 1 v 1 Markian United

Replay

Markian United 2 v 2 YTFIB

Second Replay

YTFIB 2 v 2 Markian United

Third Replay

Markian United 1 v 1 YTFIB

Fourth Replay

YTFIB 0 v 2 Markian United

It’s customary to start with the holders so let’s do that. Wheel Madrid won their first game of the season, beating SGU 2-1. Chris Wood and James Maddison scored either side of half-time for Paul, Aaron’s only reply was a Virgil van Dijk clean. Like the Wheelmen, San Dimas are without a win in the league but made progress in the cup. Yankubah Minteh’s first goal equalised the Aardvarks’ opener, Dan Burn’s clean was the winner and stopped my run of five straight first round defeats in this competition.

Ollie’s first WSFFL cup match ended in defeat. Fabio Carvalho was left with a tap-in in the last minute to deliver a 2-1 win for Trusted. The other unbeaten league team, the Muppets, also fell at the first hurdle. The Artisans beat Ryan’s team 2-0 courtesy of a Jarrod Bowen goal and Diogo Dalot clean. 

Big winners of the week were Claymore who beat Nil Satis 5-1. Paul was eight minutes from a replay after Jeremy Doku’s belter but Clive stunned him with four cleans. Next biggest win was the CFJs' 4-1 result over Cheese Makers. Bryan Mbeumo’s penalty put Matthew in front but three first half Cows strikes turned it round and Rayan Air-Nouri finished the game in injury time.

The Wateringhole continued their shocking run in this competition, going down 4-2 at Mega Bucks. Kiran has won just one PCMT game in ten seasons. He was undone this time by three Mega Bucks cleans. Dave has never made the final of this one. Is this his year? One replay after YTFIB and Markian finished 1-1. Nathan Collins early goal being equalised by Lucas Paqueta.

In the replay - After Yves Bissouma’s low strike put Ian ahead Julian turned it round through goals from Facundo Buononotte and Jamie Vardy from the spot. Just as YTFIB were thinking about the next round Ferdi Kadioglu’s clean earned Markian another bite of the cherry.

It was also 2-2 in the second replay - Goals from Jamie Vardy and Alex Iwobi had Julian in charge but cleans from Lacroix and Kadioglu earned Ian another crack.

Things were different in the third replay, it ended 1-1. Antoine Semenyo’s smart turn and shot fired YTFIB ahead after nine minutes but Ian’s team were level courtesy of a fierce drive from Ferdi Kadioglu that went on off the far post. And that was that. Until next week.

When it was finally settled in Ian's favour, 2-0. It’s over! Darwin Nunez scoring on the breakaway after 20 minutes and an Alejandro Garnacho stunner settling it with eight minutes left.

Week 30 Results - Points record for Aardvarks

Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 1 v 1 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 

Markian United 3 v 1 San Dimas High School

Mega Buck Bandits 3 v 3 The Wateringhole Society 

Real Muppets 2 v 4 The Cow-Faced Juniors

Stanley and Gracie United 3 v 0 Cheese Makers 

Trusted By Millions 6 v 3 Claymore Athletic FC 

Wheel Madrid 0 v 4 The Fabulous Artisans

YTFIB 0 v 1 Aardvark Abacus 

	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	Aardvark Abacus	30	23	2	5	103	50	53	71
2	The Fabulous Artisans	30	18	2	10	74	50	24	56
3	The Cow-Faced Juniors	30	17	4	9	71	61	10	55
4	Trusted By Millions	30	16	6	8	102	68	34	54
5	The Wateringhole Society	30	16	3	11	75	64	11	51
6	Stanley and Gracie United	30	16	2	12	62	57	5	50
7	Claymore Athletic FC	30	15	4	11	64	52	12	49
8	Markian United	30	14	2	14	57	68	-11	44
9	San Dimas High School	30	13	4	13	67	59	8	43
10	Real Muppets	30	12	7	11	67	62	5	43
11	Mega Buck Bandits	30	10	7	13	51	58	-7	37
12	Cheese Makers	30	10	5	15	56	67	-11	35
13	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	30	9	6	15	59	72	-13	33
14	Wheel Madrid	30	5	9	16	47	80	-33	24
15	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	30	5	6	19	31	67	-36	21
16	YTFIB	30	4	5	21	31	82	-51	17

Aardvark Abacus got the win they needed (1-0 at YTFIB) to make this a multiple-record breaking season. Watkins and Son scored 31 league goals between them and Ben White was a solid presence at the back. Just one league defeat since week ten shows the level of dominance. It’s been eight years since a team has won back-to-back titles, could Ady re-set that stat next season?

Runner-up spot went to The Fabulous Artisans for the fourth time. Top until week 12 Ben’s team suffered a massive winter wobble winning just six times in the league between December and the end of April. Might need another striker to take some pressure of Nicolas Jackson if he’s finally to reach the top step.

The Cow-Faced Juniors finished in the top three for a second season running. Always on the back-foot after just four wins in the opening nine, third place seems a good return. One of the league’s best midfields but one of many teams that’ll be pursuing a goalscorer in the summer.

How on earth did Trusted By Millions miss out on a top three place? Just as prolific as the Aardvarks in the scoring department there was a duff period in early season (six without a win) that probably made the difference. At least has the Charity Shield to show for the season’s work.

The Wateringhole Society’s season was compromised from the off by Ivan Toney’s absence until January. Marcus Rashford and Cody Gakpo didn’t step up and new signing Christopher Nkunku missed much of the campaign through injury. Expect better next year.

While they were chasing second for a while Stanley and Gracie United can be content with maximising their resources to finish sixth. Dominic Solanke starred for SGU and Aaron has an excellent young player in Harry Wilson. Can he resist daft Chelsea signings this summer though?

Claymore Athletic FC were in the second place race for a while but ended seventh. It’s a big step up on last year’s bottom place for Clive. He still tinkered but at least tinkered a bit better and he’ll be hoping that big signing Rasmus Hojlund will improve after a year getting to grips with the league.

The last place in the top half went to Markian United. Ian’s team were second after week 12 but a spectacularly poor run of just one win in 12 league games put an end to a high finish. It was always going to be difficult to replace Harry Kane, Darwin Nunez has not looked the man to do that yet.

San Dimas High School were doing their best work in the last couple of months and finished ninth for the second season running when Havertz and Gvardiol started to click. My team are definitely another in the market for a 15 goals+ a season striker but they don’t grow on trees.

An FA Cup win, beaten in the PCMT Final, Phil Foden, Erling Haaland, De Bruyne, Ederson - yet only tenth place for Real Muppets, for the third season running. Ryan will be having a close look at the missing pieces of his jigsaw and see what it takes to get him back in the upper reaches of the table.

Mega Buck Bandits finished 11th. As Dave has only finished in the top half once in 16 seasons this isn’t too much of a surprise. There will be a question mark over the future of Carlton Morris and Dave can’t rely on Michail Antonio like he used to.

Cheese Makers were in fourth after week nine but fell away badly after that. Bryan Mbeumo’s injury played a part in Matthew’s slide while he missed Tyrone Mings and Manor Solomon for practically the whole season. Still one or two players away from where he wants to be.

It was a familiar pattern for Fred West Landscape Gardening XI. Over the last six seasons the year after winning the title is followed by a fallow year. Bruno Fernandes and Morgan Gibbs-White did their best but there are signs of Mo Salah slowing down. A rebuild beckons.

Wheel Madrid will care less than most about their league position after winning their first trophy, the PCMT. Paul’s team picked up after that cup win (with only 6 points from the first half of the season that wasn’t too difficult) and will have hopes of a better showing next season.

Nil Satis Nisi Optimum were another team who made a shocking start, just five points at the mid-point of the season. Lost just once out of the last seven games to avoid the wooden spoon. Paul S isn’t going to change so watch out for those Everton signings again.

And then we come to YTFIB. No team has finished bottom more than Julian’s but that looked a long shot after 12 weeks when they were sat on 15 points in twelfth. Only two more points followed all season. Is this the worst run ever? Can I be bothered to find out?

Week 29 Results - Aardvarks break 100-goal barrier

Cheese Makers 2 v 3 Aardvark Abacus 

Claymore Athletic FC 2 v 2 Real Muppets 

Markian United 1 v 2 Trusted By Millions 

Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 1 v 0 Mega Buck Bandits 

San Dimas High School 4 v 0 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI

Stanley and Gracie United 1 v 2 Wheel Madrid

The Cow-Faced Juniors 3 v 2 The Wateringhole Society 

The Fabulous Artisans 4 v 0 YTFIB

	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	Aardvark Abacus	29	22	2	5	102	50	52	68
2	The Fabulous Artisans	29	17	2	10	70	50	20	53
3	The Cow-Faced Juniors	29	16	4	9	67	59	8	52
4	Trusted By Millions	29	15	6	8	96	65	31	51
5	The Wateringhole Society	29	16	2	11	72	61	11	50
6	Claymore Athletic FC	29	15	4	10	61	46	15	49
7	Stanley and Gracie United	29	15	2	12	59	57	2	47
8	San Dimas High School	29	13	4	12	66	56	10	43
9	Real Muppets	29	12	7	10	65	58	7	43
10	Markian United	29	13	2	14	54	67	-13	41
11	Mega Buck Bandits	29	10	6	13	48	55	-7	36
12	Cheese Makers	29	10	5	14	56	64	-8	35
13	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	29	9	5	15	58	71	-13	32
14	Wheel Madrid	29	5	9	15	47	76	-29	24
15	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	29	5	5	19	30	66	-36	20
16	YTFIB	29	4	5	20	31	81	-50	17

The second week running where a team from the bottom half gives the Aardvarks a scare but Ady finds a way. Cheese Makers were two down with five minutes left before Bryan Mbeumo and Julian Alvarez (from the spot) made it 2-2. Before Matthew could celebrate a hard-earned point Ben White’s clean gave the Aardvarks the win and put them on the brink of history.

The race for second is down to four teams with the Artisans in pole position. Ben beat YTFIB 4-0 with all the action in the second half, there was a first WSFFL goal for Jarell Quansah and Raheem Sterling and Nicolas Jackson were also on target. The CFJs are a point further back after edging the Wateringhole 3-2. Kiran took an early lead through Mykhailo Mudryk but three late goals from Eberi Eze, Tomas Soucek and an injury time stunner from Yoane Wissa turned the game round. Kiran really needs results to go his way on the final day to take the runner-up spot. There’s another point back to Trusted who kept their winning streak going this week. The 2-1 win over Markian wasn’t their most convincing of late but goals from Leandro Trossard and Jean-Phillipe Mateta proved enough.

Claymore won’t be getting a little trophy this season after a 2-2 draw with Muppets means Clive can no longer finish runner-up. Matheus Cunha got his tenth of the season to put the Swordsmen 2-1 up, Ryan earned a point with a James Tarkowski clean. SGU are also out of the second place running after going down 2-1 at home to Wheel Madrid. Dominic Solanke’s 89th minute strike looked to have earned Aaron a point but the Wheelmen won it thanks to a Radu Dragusin clean from the bench.

San Dimas are in the top half for the first time this season after beating Fred 4-0. Josko Gvardiol has started repaying his transfer fee lately and this week notched a very rare two goals and a clean hat-trick. Nil Satis (the only team not to spend at least a week in the top half this season) beat Mega Bucks 1-0 courtesy of a Jarrad Braithwaite clean sheet. The result will condemn YTFIB to bottom spot unless something unbelievable happens at the weekend.