Week 9 Results

The top two continue on their merry way but five of the bottom six all win to really compact the table.

Claymore Athletic FC 1 v 3 The Fabulous Artisans
Final Fantasy XI 5 v 0 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Mega Buck Bandits 3 v 2 San Dimas High School
Real Muppets 2 v 0 Aardvark Abacus
The Cheese Makers 1 v 4 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
The Cow-Faced Juniors 7 v 3 York’s Returning Glory
The Dead Parrots 1 v 3 Athletico Phoenix
Trusted By Millions 3 v 2 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI

The Artisans will hold the top spot through the Cup weekend and then the international break. Clive must have thought he'd grabbed a share of the points as the Artisans defence backed away from Moussa Dembele and allowed him to shoot home with three minutes left but Adam Johnson's stoppage time goal and Martin Skrtel's clean keep Ben's team on the top of the pile. Trusted remain a single point behind after beating Fred by the odd goal in five. Hernandez 19th minute opener was equalised by Rafael van der Vaart, Edin Dzeko put Beef in front again but Alex Kolarov got Fred back on terms for a second time. This match also appeared to be drifting to a draw but Stephane Sessegnon was Beef's unlikely hero, heading home with a minute left.

There's a four point gap from second to third and that third-placed team is...Athletico Phoenix. Brian has hit these giddy heights on the back of Robin van Persie being the first player to 10 goals this season. A hat-trick from the dutchman too much for the Parrots this week, an industrial order of cotton wool has been delivered to Kingham to keep RVP wrapped up between games. Another lacklustre performance from the Aardvarks hold them back from a run on the top two. Two cleans brought a welcome win for the Muppets who are struggling to deal with the Carlos Tevez fallout. Ryan's team are still bottom but are only five points off the top half.

The CFJs hadn't won since week one but exploded this week and put seven past York's. With eight minutes to go it was balanced at 4-3 but Richard Dunne, Danny Graham (who'd also scored at the other end) and Grant Holt finished the job for Chris. Boston Rock are off and running now with a second straight win. This week's victims were the Cheese Makers with Juan Mata getting his first goal for Matthew after old stagers Terry and Lampard plus young guns Carroll and Sinclair had scored for Sheriff.

Mega Bucks picked up their second win of the season by holding off a San Dimas fight back. Dave was 3-0 to the good eight minutes into the second half and despite Theo Walcott and Stephen Hunt pulling goals back for me it wasn't enough. Our second hat-trick hero of the week was Demba Ba for Final Fantasy. Ceri's team put Nil Satis to the sword with two clean sheets added to Ba's contribution (the Frenchman is up to seven for the season). Paul had only conceded 11 times before this match and now only has Ryan below him.

Week 8 Results

The Artisans were fabulous and are our new leaders...

Aardvark Abacus 0 v 2 The Cheese Makers
Athletico Phoenix 3 v 0 Mega Buck Bandits
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 3 v 0 The Dead Parrots
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 2 v 2 The Cow-Faced Juniors
San Dimas High School 3 v 1 Real Muppets
The Fabulous Artisans 4 v 1 Trusted By Millions
York’s Returning Glory 4 v 2 Claymore Athletic FC
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 2 v 0 Final Fantasy XI

The Fabulous Artisans take over at the top for the first time since week 13 in the 2009/10 season. Ben's team were two up inside 27 minutes thanks to Mario Balotelli's slide-rule finish from the edge of the area and Gervinho springing the Trusted offside and scoring from close range. Dedryk Boyata had added a clean and Balotelli a second goal before Stephane Sessegnon got Trusted's consolation. Beef left Edin Dzeko out this week but will be thankful it didn't make a difference to the result. Fred's up to third and getting a sniff of back-to-back titles after dismissing the Parrots 3-0. Rafael van der Vaart struck twice and the little genius that is David Silva got the third.

The Aardvarks lost a small bit of ground with a disappointing performance against the Cheese Makers. Matthew's team left it late but Jamie O'Hara's goal and Tim Krul's clean put his side back in the right direction after four straight defeats in all competitions. York's had lost three in a row but QPR cleans gave him a victory over Claymore. Peter Crouch's tap-in and Craig Bellamy's strike came either side of Jonas Olsson's header for Clive. Sergio Aguero slid in his ninth of the season with 20 minutes to go to level the scores but Luke Young and Anton Ferdinand cleans gave Julian the win.

Mega Buck Bandits kept Athletico Phoenix quiet until late on but Robin van Persie scored another brace from close range and an unmarked Nicklas Bendtner rounded out the 3-0 win as time ran out. San Dimas left it late as well to add to the Muppets' woes. Paul Scharner reacted first to a knockdown from a corner to fire me ahead just before the hour but Darren Fletcher hit one of the goals of the week with ten minutes to go to square the match. Jack Rodwell's long range grubber on 90 minutes and a Simon Mignolet clean gave me the points and keep the Muppets bottom.

Boston Rock have a win though. It wasn't Sheriff's most convincing performance and Final Fantasy were only behind to Darren Bent's early penalty for much of the game but Steven Taylor's clean finished the match in Boston Rock's favour. (He's only 11 points behind!) The  CFJs haven't picked up a win since week one and Chris was held by Nil Satis this week. Chris was two up inside half an hour through Danny Graham and Mauro Formica and must have thought he was laughing all the way to three points when Bobby Zamora blazed wide on 89 minutes. He wasn't laughing when Louis Saha pulled one back a minute later and John O'Shea got the equalising clean.

Consolation Cup Quarter-final draw

Our first ever Consolation Cup draw. Here's how my colleagues (see the PCMT draw) pulled out the names.

Aardvark Abacus v The Cheese Makers
Athletico Phoenix v York's Returning Glory
Mega Buck Bandits v The Cow-Faced Juniors
San Dimas High School v Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

Mathew's Cheese Makers the unlucky team that drew the tournament favourite Aardvarks.

PCMT Quarter-final draw

It was a trip into work for the yellow bag with my colleague Ewan (home teams) and Simon (away) doing the honours.


Claymore Athletic FC v The Fabulous Artisans
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI v The Dead Parrots
Trusted By Millions v Real Muppets
You Know Your Boston Rock FC v Final Fantasy XI

Sheriff must be pleased with Boston Rock's draw as his team bids for five in a row but we'll know more about the teams' respective strengths after this week's league match between the sides.

Week 7 and PCMT 1st Round replay results

League Week Number: 7, W/C 15 October

Aardvark Abacus 4 v 4 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Claymore Athletic FC 1 v 0 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Mega Buck Bandits 1 v 1 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Real Muppets 2 v 2 Athletico Phoenix
The Cheese Makers 0 v 2 San Dimas High School
The Cow-Faced Juniors 2 v 2 Final Fantasy XI
The Dead Parrots 1 v 4 The Fabulous Artisans
Trusted By Millions 4 v 0 York’s Returning Glory

Trusted stay unbeaten and got back to their fluent ways against York's. Beef's team took an hour to break down their opponents but Ramires bundled them ahead and the returning Steven Gerrard struck a free-kick through a flaky wall seven minutes later to double the lead. Julian's previously tight defence then caved in to a Hernandez goal and Shawcross clean. The Fabulous Artisans have quietly climbed to second and despatched the Parrots 4-1. Mario Balotelli scored an instinctive overhead kick top open the scoring and Adam Johnson struck just after half-time after a Steven Warnock error. Warnock pulled one back for Dean but two cleans saw Ben out of sight.

Aardvark Abacus are third after a high-scoring draw with Boston Rock. Anthony Pilkington struck for Ady in the first minute but John Terry's header levelled the game just before the break. Then the fun started. Vincent Kompany and Pilkington again made it 3-1 while the Boston fightback came from smart finished from Jermain Defoe and James Milner. Sheriff thought he'd picked up his first win when Chris Eagles struck on 90 minutes but the celebrations were short-lived as Matthew Upson's clean meant it finished 4-4.  Claymore had been banging them in so far this season but in a low-key Evertonian derby the only score was a Jonas Olsson clean in Clive's favour.

Fred West seemed to had got things rolling recently but tripped up against Mega Bucks. Dave was ahead on 10 minutes through Russell Martin but a Rafael Van der Vaart spot-kick completed the scoring in this one five minutes before half-time. The Cheese Makers have found it tougher going after a great start and despite Juan Mata turning San Dimas inside out there was no one to supply the finish. San Dimas won the game in three second-half minutes thanks to Ali Al-Habsi's saved penalty and Peter Odemwingie's shot on the turn.

It's another week without a win for the bottom-place Muppets too. Athletico Phoenix were ahead through Robin van Persie in 28 seconds but Chris Brunt and an unmarked Danny Sturridge had Ryan in front on 31 minutes. It was that man van Persie with an exquisite free-kick eight minutes from time that grabbed a point for Brian. The CFJs must have thought they were on there way to a revenge win over Final Fantasy when Chris Samba's header put them two up in 24 minutes. Ceri's team are proving tough to be beat and Seb Larsson's brilliant set-piece and then the bargain that is Demba Ba made 2-2 and that's how it finished.

PCMT 1st Round Replay

Trusted By Millions 4 v 2 San Dimas High School

Javier Hernandez stole into a static San Dimas defence to head the goal to break the deadlock between these sides and Ryan Shawcross finished the match with a clean. Trusted are the last team into the PCMT Quarters, my team get a chance to become the first Consolation Cup winners. I'll get the draws done before our next league matches get under way.

Paul Cartmell Memorial Trophy 1st Round Results

Athletico Phoenix 2 v 3 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Final Fantasy XI 6 v 3 The Cow-Faced Juniors
Mega Buck Bandits 1 v 6 Real Muppets
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 4 v 6 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
San Dimas High School 1 v 1 Trusted By Millions
The Cheese Makers 1 v 2 Claymore Athletic
The Dead Parrots 4 v 0 Aardvark Abacus
York's Returning Glory 1 v 4 The Fabulous Artisans

Perhaps Sheriff should tell his team it's the PCMT every week! Boston Rock have yet to pick up a league victory but turned on the style and stretched their unbeaten run in this competition to 20 matches (by my reckoning). Star of the show this week was hat-trick scoring Frank Lampard in a 'I told you not to write me off' kind of way. Nil Satis put up a late fight but left it too late, mounting a stirring comeback from 6-1 behind. After three straight years of a Boston Rock v Aardvark final that won't be happening this time round. Ady's team were battered 4-0 by the Dead Parrots and fail to make it past the first round for the first time since 2004.

Dean's Parrots were one of only two teams from last season's bottom half to knock out higher-placed opponents. The others were the in form Final Fantasy who put six past the CFJs. Andy (Andrew) Johnson was Ceri's hat-trick hero and cleans from Enrique and Schwarzer snuffed out Chris's comeback and put Final Fantasy in the quarters for the first time in five seasons. Bottom of the table Real Muppets were our other six-hitters this week against Mega Bucks. Dave's team have effectively become a bye in this competition, not winning a game since 2002. Ryan's Muppets will hope that their season starts here.

Athletico Phoenix (in all their various guises) are another team that have struggled with this competition, winning just one tie since we went to a 16-team league. Brian was one the way to breaking that hoodoo mid-way through the first half through goals from Morrison and Bendtner but van der Vaart pulled one back for Fred before the break and then won the game with a late Danny Welbeck goal and a Kolarov clean. The Cheese Makers were another team to take an early lead but finish on the unhappy side of the result. Shane Long looked to have given Matthew the half-time advantage but Tim Howard's saved penalty equalised for Claymore and Jonny Evans registered the winning clean.

York's' great start to the season came crashing to a halt at the hands of the Artisans. Samir Nasri gave Julian hope after Adam Johnson and Mario Balotelli had Ben two up on the hour but two more Artisans cleans made the score look lop-sided. One game goes to a replay this week - Trusted are still unbeaten this season but needed a clean sheet to rescue a draw after Kyle Walker had smacked one in for San Dimas from long range