FA Cup quarter-final results

A win for the holders plus the Parrots and CFJs are still chasing a Cup double.

Aardvark Abacus 2 v 4 Claymore Athletic FC
Final Fantasy XI 0 v 2 The Dead Parrots
Trusted By Millions 3 v 0 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 2 v 3 The Cow-Faced Juniors

Claymore took a beating from the Aardvarks when they met in the league 10 days ago but our holders turned the tables in this match. Wayne Rooney's brace gave Clive a two-goal cushion at the break and when Olivier Giroud made it three midway through the second half the game looked up for Ady. However, two late goals from Adam Le Fondre (the second a clever volley) had Clive on the back-foot until Gael Clichy scored the clean to finish things.

The CFJs won the PCMT this season and are still in the hunt for a Cup double. Luis Suarez struck early for Chris but the game turned Boston Rock's way after the break. Kevin Nolan and Frank Lampard put Sheriff's team ahead before Gareth Bale's powerful run and shot squared matters. It could have gone either way at the end but it was the unlikely presence of Titus Bramble who got the deciding clean for Chris.

Final Fantasy's excellent season is in danger of fizzling out. Ceri's team put in a limp showing against the Dead Parrots. Dean was our Charity Shield winner and is eyeing a Cup double of his own after cleans from Joe Hart and Ryan Nelsen put him through.

Trusted struck three goals in the first quarter of their game against Nil Satis to wrap it up early. Jay Rodriguez got the quickest goal of the night on three minutes when capitalising on a defensive mix-up and Papiss Cisse and Ryan Shawcross were also on the scoresheet before Beef's team went into pipe and slippers mode.

Week 18 Results

Setbacks for our top two.

Aardvark Abacus 4 v 0 Claymore Athletic FC
Athletico Phoenix 2 v 0 The Dead Parrots
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 2 v 4 Real Muppets
Mega Buck Bandits 2 v 2 The Cheese Makers
San Dimas High School 5 v 2 The Cow-Faced Juniors
The Fabulous Artisans 3 v 0 Final Fantasy XI
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 2 v 3 Trusted By Millions
YTFIB 0 v 3 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

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	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	Claymore Athletic FC	18	13	2	3	46	28	18	41
2	The Cow-Faced Juniors	18	11	4	3	54	34	20	37
3	Athletico Phoenix	18	9	3	6	41	29	12	30
4	Real Muppets	18	8	6	4	35	31	4	30
5	Trusted By Millions	18	9	2	7	41	37	4	29
6	Final Fantasy XI	18	9	2	7	31	28	3	29
7	Aardvark Abacus	18	9	1	8	36	28	8	28
8	You Know Your Boston Rock FC	18	7	4	7	44	33	11	25
9	Mega Buck Bandits	18	7	4	7	31	27	4	25
10	San Dimas High School	18	8	1	9	44	48	-4	25
11	The Fabulous Artisans	18	7	3	8	34	32	2	24
12	The Dead Parrots	18	5	5	8	28	36	-8	20
13	The Cheese Makers	18	5	4	9	26	36	-10	19
14	YTFIB	18	4	5	9	20	39	-19	17
15	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	18	5	1	12	23	40	-17	16
16	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	18	3	3	12	20	48	-28	12

Comprehensive defeats for last week's top three means it's pretty much as you were. The Aardvarks handed Claymore a 4-0 beating to upset Clive's serene title progress. Craig Gardner opened the scoring from the spot on 17 minutes but the in-form Adam Le Fondre scored twice late in the second-half to put this one to bed. Chris couldn't take advantage in the Claymore slip as his CFJs were the latest victims of the resurgent San Dimas. Luis Suarez had put the CFJs ahead before the break but Jon de Guzman free-kick squared things after the break. Theo Walcott, de Guzman again and Peter Odemwingie had this one wrapped up before Clint Dempsey replied.

Last week's third-placed team were Final Fantasy but after a 3-0 feat to the Artisans Ceri's team has been swallowed up by the chasing pack. Long-range strikes from Christian Benteke and Chris Brunt plus a clean from Leighton Baines took Ben's mind off trying to offload Mario Balotelli for a little while. Athletico Pheonix are now in third after seeing off the Dead Parrots in the 'mythical bird' derby. A great header from Robin van Persie broke the deadlock on 25 minutes but Brian needed a clean from Phil Neville to make the game safe.

The Muppets are fourth, on the same points as Brian's side, after a 4-2 win at Fred West. An early David Silva goal had Fred in the lead for the best part of an hour before Danny Sturridge and Joe Cole put Ryan in front with goals in a 10 minute second-half spell. Silva equalised soon after but the points went to the Muppets with cleans from Daniel Agger and Brad Jones. Trusted are fifth after taking advantage of Boston Rock's continuing ropey form in the league. Frank Lampard scored his traditional penalty early on but a stunning strike from Jordan Henderson levelled the game mid-way through the first half. Steven Gerrard gave Beef the lead on 66 minutes and then Ryan Bennett diverted a shot into his own net eight minutes later to give Trusted an unassailable lead.

All the goals between Mega Bucks and the Cheese Makers came in the first period. Matthew led twice, first through Juan Mata on six minutes and then a great Yohan Cabaye free-kick on 35 but both times those goals were equalised by Steven Fletcher and it finished 2-2. Nil Satis are now breathing down YTFIB's neck after beating Julian's team 3-0. David Vaughan scored an early own goal and Paul added to that with cleans by Seamus Coleman and Nathaniel Clyne.

FA Cup quarter-final draw

An interesting set of ties for our quarter-finalists.

Aardvark Abacus v Claymore Athletic FC
Final Fantasy XI v The Dead Parrots
Trusted By Millions v Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
You Know Your Boston Rock FC v The Cow-Faced Juniors

Our holders face the Aardvarks who appear to be coming out of hibernation (I've no idea if Aardvarks do this really). Charity Shield winners The Parrots face Ceri's Final Fantasy who have had such a good campaign so far.

Trusted and Nil Satis will both want to salvage something from underwhelming campaigns why PCMT winners the CFJs will have to get past Cup specialists Boston Rock if they're to stay in the hunt to claim another trophy.

Week 17 and FA Cup replay results

Claymore inch further ahead.

League Week 17

Aardvark Abacus 3 v 0 YTFIB
Claymore Athletic FC 3 v 1 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Final Fantasy XI 1 v 1 Mega Buck Bandits
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 1 v 2 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Real Muppets 2 v 2 The Cow-Faced Juniors
The Cheese Makers 0 v 1 Athletico Phoenix
The Dead Parrots 3 v 2 The Fabulous Artisans
Trusted By Millions 1 v 7 San Dimas High School

	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	CC	SP	Pts
1	Claymore Athletic FC	17	13	2	2	46	24	22	14	0	41
2	The Cow-Faced Juniors	17	11	4	2	52	29	23	14	2	37
3	Final Fantasy XI	17	9	2	6	31	25	6	14	1	29
4	Athletico Phoenix	17	8	3	6	39	29	10	17	0	27
5	Real Muppets	17	7	6	4	31	29	2	15	1	27
6	Trusted By Millions	17	8	2	7	38	35	3	13	0	26
7	You Know Your Boston Rock FC	17	7	4	6	42	30	12	16	0	25
8	Aardvark Abacus	17	8	1	8	32	28	4	12	1	25
9	Mega Buck Bandits	17	7	3	7	29	25	4	14	0	24
10	San Dimas High School	17	7	1	9	39	46	-7	14	0	22
11	The Fabulous Artisans	17	6	3	8	31	32	-1	12	0	21
12	The Dead Parrots	17	5	5	7	28	34	-6	12	0	20
13	The Cheese Makers	17	5	3	9	24	34	-10	15	0	18
14	YTFIB	17	4	5	8	20	36	-16	6	0	17
15	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	17	4	1	12	20	40	-20	11	0	13
16	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	17	3	3	11	18	44	-26	9	0	12

The champions have opened up a four-point gap after this week's games. Claymore trailed to Frank Lampard's penalty midway through the second-half but cleans from former Player of the Year Branislav Ivanovic, Sideshow Bob lookalike David Luiz and someone I can't think of anything to say about Gael Clichy handed the win to Clive. That's five without a win in the league for Sheriff now who had seemed to be getting back to his old form. The gap is stretched as the CFJs were held by the Muppets. Ryan was two up through Danny Sturridge and James McClean and had kept Chris' free-scoring team quiet but Michael Turner and Clint Hill nabbed the cleans that got a point.

Final Fantasy are third but there's whole host of teams queuing up behind. Seb Larsson doesn't get as many goals as he used to but he rifled Ceri ahead on 12 minutes. It was honours even at Okus though when Russell Martin, who had hit a post earlier, got the levelling clean. Athletico Phoenix are up to fourth after a win over the Cheese Makers. Robin van Persie sweeping in on 19 minutes to get the only goal. Matthew's team have slipped into the bottom four.

Trusted missed a chance to go third in spectacular style. Edin Dzeko missed an 8th minute spot-kick and San Dimas raced into an early 2-0 lead through Romelu Lukaku and James Milner. Beef's Bosnian did score from close range on 32 minutes but it was all my way after the break. Lukaku and Pavel Pogrebnyak added goals and then I had three cleans to count on too to hand Beef his equal biggest league defeat. The Aardvarks are nestled neatly in mid-table after a cosy win over YTFIB. Wojcech Szczesny saved an early penalty, Adam Le Fondre scored a very late one and Phil Jagielka's clean meant the sending off of Vincent Kompany made no difference.

The Dead Parrots picked up only their second win in 11 league games beating the Artisans 3-2. You might want to look in the FA Cup results section for a match report!  Fred closed in on Nil Satis with a 2-1 win over that team. Fred took the lead when a header grazed Nemanja Vidic's eyebrows and went in and Eden Hazard doubled the advantage before Paul grabbed a consolation via a Seamus Coleman clean.

FA Cup Replay

The Dead Parrots 3 v 2 The Fabulous Artisans

The Dead Parrots have one trophy on the metaphorical mantelpiece and are still in the hunt for another. Rickie Lambert got the opener for Dean from the spot but Adam Johnson from close range and a Jimmy Kebe header looked to have put Ben into the last eight. There was another twist with Mike Williamson and the recently eulogised Ryan Nelsen getting the cleans that see the Parrots through.

FA Cup 1st round results

The holders squeak through.

Athletico Phoenix 1 v 3 Trusted By Millions
Fred West LG XI 0 v 3 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Real Muppets 2 v 4 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
San Dimas High School 0 v 4 Aardvark Abacus
The Cheese Makers 2 v 3 Claymore Athletic FC
The Cow-Faced Juniors 6 v 0 Mega Buck Bandits
The Fabulous Artisans 4 v 4 The Dead Parrots
YTFIB 0 v 2 Final Fantasy

For the last 16 seasons the Cup has been shared between six teams and four of those are into the last eight.

Claymore are the holders but had a bit of a fright against the Cheese Makers. Clive's team were three up seven minutes after the break but Shane Long and Marouane Fellaini struck in the last 10 minutes for Matthew to reduce the deficit but the Swordsmen hung on. It's been nine years since Trusted won this trophy but Beef's team saw off a potential challenger in Athletico Phoenix. Jay Rodriguez and Victor Moses put Beef two up before the break, Robin van Persie got his customary goal at the death but a clean sheet from Andre Wisdom saw Trusted home.

Boston Rock have won this Cup more than anybody and started by knocking out another former winner in the Muppets. Two early goals from Daniel Sturridge and Carlos Tevez had Ryan in front but the returning Darren Bent and looking for a new contract Frank Lampard squared the game seven minutes from time. Cleans from Ryan Bennett and Steven Caulker were the deciding factor in Sheriff's favour. San Dimas have been the hot team in the league over the last month but their PCMT Final defeat was followed by a humbling at home to the Aardvarks in this competition. Two from Adam Le Fondre put Ady in pole position and his team never looked back.

The CFJs have been beaten in the FA Cup Final twice but a 6-0 win over Mega Bucks shows Chris fancies another Cup run. Clint Dempsey led the way with a brace but regular scorers Bale, Suarez and Michu chipped in too. Better fortunes for the other Okus team though. Demba Ba's contract issues have been sorted out and his two goals settled the tie against YTFIB and puts Ceri into the quarters.

Fred's season goes from worse to worser as his team crashed out to Nil Satis 3-0. Nikica Jelavic bundled home for Paul on 12 minutes to set Nil Satis on their way and there was little resistance from the Gardeners. There is one replay to sort out after the Artisans and the Parrots fought out a four-all draw. Kieran Gibbs excellent volley looked to have clinched this one for Ben but cleans from the Perhaps soon to depart Ryan Nelsen and the lesser-spotted Costel Pantilimon earn Dean a second chance.

Week 16 Results

Some big wins this week but Claymore pegged back

Athletico Phoenix 4 v 1 Aardvark Abacus
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 0 v 5 Trusted By Millions
Mega Buck Bandits 2 v 3 Real Muppets
San Dimas High School 5 v 0 Final Fantasy XI
The Cow-Faced Juniors 6 v 0 The Cheese Makers
The Fabulous Artisans 3 v 0 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 1 v 1 The Dead Parrots
YTFIB 2 v 2 Claymore Athletic FC

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	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	Claymore Athletic FC	16	12	2	2	43	23	20	38
2	The Cow-Faced Juniors	16	11	3	2	50	27	23	36
3	Final Fantasy XI	16	9	1	6	30	24	6	28
4	Trusted By Millions	16	8	2	6	37	28	9	26
5	Real Muppets	16	7	5	4	29	27	2	26
6	You Know Your Boston Rock FC	16	7	4	5	41	27	14	25
7	Athletico Phoenix	16	7	3	6	38	29	9	24
8	Mega Buck Bandits	16	7	2	7	28	24	4	23
9	Aardvark Abacus	16	7	1	8	29	28	1	22
10	The Fabulous Artisans	16	6	3	7	29	29	0	21
11	San Dimas High School	16	6	1	9	32	45	-13	19
12	The Cheese Makers	16	5	3	8	24	33	-9	18
13	The Dead Parrots	16	4	5	7	25	32	-7	17
14	YTFIB	16	4	5	7	20	33	-13	17
15	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	16	4	1	11	19	38	-19	13
16	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	16	2	3	11	16	43	-27	9

The top two are putting considerable clear blue water between themselves and the chasing pack. Claymore had to survive a scare at YTFIB coming from 2-0 down to grab a draw thanks to a Sergio Aguero penalty and a Jonny Evans clean. No such troubles for the CFJs where a Luis Suarez brace set up a 6-0 win over the Cheese Makers. Matthew’s team going through a lean spell recently.

Final Fantasy put in a rare poor performance and were trounced 5-0 by San Dimas. My team bouncing back well after PCMT Final disappointment. The other Okus team, Mega Bucks, lost too, 3-2 to the Muppets. Clean sheets winning the day for Ryan after Russell Martin's 90th minute goal looked to have clinched all the points for Dave.

Athletico Phoenix burst the Aardvarks’ recent good form bubble (two more from RvP in a 4-1 win) and Trusted were back on song, with two from Javier Hernandez in a 5-0 beating of lowly Fred West.

Another draw for Boston Rock who needed a Glen Johnson clean to grab a point against the Dead Parrots but last word goes to Leighton Baines who hit a stunning free-kick as the Artisans returned to form in a 3-0 win over Nil Satis.

Week 15 results

Claymore cruise on but the CFJs stutter.

Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 0 v 3 Claymore Athletic FC
Mega Buck Bandits 0 v 1 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Real Muppets 1 v 3 Final Fantasy XI
San Dimas High School 4 v 3 The Dead Parrots
The Cow-Faced Juniors 3 v 3 Trusted By Millions
The Fabulous Artisans 2 v 3 Aardvark Abacus
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 3 v 3 Athletico Phoenix
YTFIB 1 v 0 The Cheese Makers

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	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	Claymore Athletic FC	15	12	1	2	41	21	20	37
2	The Cow-Faced Juniors	15	10	3	2	44	27	17	33
3	Final Fantasy XI	15	9	1	5	30	19	11	28
4	You Know Your Boston Rock FC	15	7	3	5	40	26	14	24
5	Mega Buck Bandits	15	7	2	6	26	21	5	23
6	Trusted By Millions	15	7	2	6	32	28	4	23
7	Real Muppets	15	6	5	4	26	25	1	23
8	Aardvark Abacus	15	7	1	7	28	24	4	22
9	Athletico Phoenix	15	6	3	6	34	28	6	21
10	The Fabulous Artisans	15	5	3	7	26	29	-3	18
11	The Cheese Makers	15	5	3	7	24	27	-3	18
12	The Dead Parrots	15	4	4	7	24	31	-7	16
13	YTFIB	15	4	4	7	18	31	-13	16
14	San Dimas High School	15	5	1	9	27	45	-18	16
15	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	15	4	1	10	19	35	-16	13
16	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	15	2	3	10	16	38	-22	9

Clive’s strikers carried him to the title last year and they’ve lifted him to a four point advantage at halfway this time. Sergio Aguero and two from Olivier Giroud guiding Claymore to victory over Fred. Edin Dzeko scored two in the opening four minutes for Trusted against the CFJs but a Luis Suarez brace had this level by 16 minutes. It eventually finished 3-3.

Final Fantasy are still at the sharp end of the table, two more from Demba Ba and a screamer from Cameron Jerome steering Ceri to victory over the Muppets. Boston Rock and Athletico Phoenix drew 3-3 which doesn’t really help either of them. Two more from Frank Lampard, (how Sheriff would like him to agree a new contract), while RvP added another to his season tally at the other end.

The Aardvarks are going in the right direction at long last, Ady’s team getting past the slumping Artisans 3-2. Anthony Pilkington on target again for the Aardvarks.  Theo Walcott managed to turn up for San Dimas this week and his hat-trick edged out The Dead Parrots in a 4-3 thriller.

Nil Satis put some more distance between themselves and Fred with a 1-0 win over Mega Bucks. Steven Pienaar getting the only goal barely two minutes in. YTFIB got an only goal win over The Cheese Makers, the unfortunate Andy Wilkinson steering a cross into his own net.