Week 26 Results

The fat lady is clearing her throat.

Aardvark Abacus 2 v 2 YTFIB
Cheese Makers 0 v 1 Markian United
Mega Buck Bandits 3 v 0 The Wateringhole Society
Real Muppets 3 v 3 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
The Cow-Faced Juniors 3 v 1 San Dimas High School
The Fabulous Artisans 5 v 1 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Trusted By Millions 0 v 0 Claymore Athletic FC
Wheel Madrid 2 v 0 Athletico Phoenix


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	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	The Cow-Faced Juniors	26	18	4	4	64	25	39	58
2	Aardvark Abacus	26	15	6	5	61	33	28	51
3	Real Muppets	26	12	11	3	75	43	32	47
4	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	26	14	4	8	73	56	17	46
5	San Dimas High School	26	13	5	8	56	56	0	44
6	The Fabulous Artisans	26	12	7	7	55	44	11	43
7	Claymore Athletic FC	26	10	7	9	54	43	11	37
8	Trusted By Millions	26	11	3	12	54	49	5	36
9	Markian United	26	10	4	12	41	46	-5	34
10	Athletico Phoenix	26	10	2	14	44	52	-8	32
11	Mega Buck Bandits	26	9	4	13	45	54	-9	31
12	Cheese Makers	26	9	4	13	33	47	-14	31
13	YTFIB	26	8	6	12	36	59	-23	30
14	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	26	8	2	16	32	45	-13	26
15	Wheel Madrid	26	7	2	17	32	58	-26	23
16	The Wateringhole Society	26	5	3	18	26	71	-45	18

A big win for the CFJs over San Dimas and the Aardvarks only picking up a draw against YTFIB means Chris and Co are almost there.

Mike van der Hoorn went off with a half-time clean and Roberto Pereyra doubled the CFJs’ advantage on the hour. Jack Cork picked up his first goal for me in reply but two minutes later Tammy Abraham’s header put the CFJs 3-1 up. Christopher Schindler got another clean to make it 4-1. Ady needed a Phil Jagielka clean to earn a point against YTFIB. The Aardvarks had been in front through Vincent Kompany;s header but Julian turned it round either side of the break thanks to Ilkay Gundogan and Mame Diouf who took a clearance to the face en route to goal.

There was an eleventh draw of the season for the Muppets (Ryan two away from the record now) after they blew a three goal lead against Nil Satis. Jonas Lossl’s unlucky own goal was soon added to by Steve Mountie and Luka Milivojevic’s free-kick (he doesn’t just score penalties you know) on 47 minutes had the Muppets three to the good. Paul Pogba was the unlikely hero for Paul S with a brace and Seamus Coleman, happily returned from injury, got the equalising clean. Fred conceded five for the second week running, this time to the Artisans. Jonjo Shelvey’s opener for Ben had been cancelled out by Cesar Azpilicueta before the break before the Artisans ran away with it in the second half. A brace from Christian Eriksen (yes, two!) and Javier Hernandez got the goals with a Leighton Baines’ clean rounding things off.

In the middle of the table Claymore and Trusted played out a 0-0 draw with nothing of any note happening. Just behind them Cheese Makers and Markian were on the verge of doing the same until Chris Smalling arrived in the Cheese penalty area unmarked to finish off a free-kick with 20 minutes left.

Mega Bucks are five unbeaten after beating the Wateringhole Society 3-0. Record signing P-E Aubameyang was on target again, prodding in on 28 minutes and Wilf Zaha and Josh King added late goals to give Dave all the points. Wheel Madrid moved further away from bottom spot with a win against Athletico. Jamie Vardy broke the deadlock with just seven minutes left and Ragnar Klavan clinched the win for Paul W with a clean.

FA Cup semi-final results

San Dimas and Claymore's cup campaigns end meekly in the replays.

Claymore Athletic FC 1 v 1 Aardvark Abacus
San Dimas High School 2 v 2 The Fabulous Artisans

The Aardvarks needed a late Alexandre Lacazette penalty to get a second chance against Claymore while San Dimas led twice but were pegged back both times, finally by a Christian Eriksen screamer, by the Artisans.

Replays

Aardvark Abacus 3 v 0 Claymore Athletic FC
The Fabulous Artisans 5 v 1 San Dimas High School

Two one sided-replays in the end. The Aardvarks will have a chance of their first FA Cup win since 2003 after beating Claymore. Vincent Kompany headed a goal in the first half, Phil Jagielka and Jordan Pickford added cleans.

The Artisans will face Ady’s team after brushing aside San Dimas. Ben’s team were fired into their first FA Cup final by Jonjo Shelvey, a brace from Christian Eriksen and Javier Hernandez with a Leighton Baines' clean rounding things off.

Week 25 Results

Only the Aardvarks left to keep the CFJs honest.

Athletico Phoenix 4 v 1 Trusted By Millions
Claymore Athletic FC 2 v 2 Real Muppets
Markian United 0 v 1 Aardvark Abacus
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 5 v 5 Mega Buck Bandits
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 0 v 2 The Fabulous Artisans
San Dimas High School 3 v 1 Wheel Madrid
The Wateringhole Society 1 v 0 Cheese Makers
YTFIB 2 v 4 The Cow-Faced Juniors

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	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
1	The Cow-Faced Juniors	25	17	4	4	60	24	36	55
2	Aardvark Abacus	25	15	5	5	59	31	28	50
3	Real Muppets	25	12	10	3	72	40	32	46
4	Fred West Landscape Gardening XI	25	14	4	7	72	51	21	46
5	San Dimas High School	25	13	5	7	55	52	3	44
6	The Fabulous Artisans	25	11	7	7	50	43	7	40
7	Claymore Athletic FC	25	10	6	9	54	43	11	36
8	Trusted By Millions	25	11	2	12	54	49	5	35
9	Athletico Phoenix	25	10	2	13	44	50	-6	32
10	Markian United	25	9	4	12	40	46	-6	31
11	Cheese Makers	25	9	4	12	33	46	-13	31
12	YTFIB	25	8	5	12	34	57	-23	29
13	Mega Buck Bandits	25	8	4	13	42	54	-12	28
14	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum	25	8	1	16	29	42	-13	25
15	Wheel Madrid	25	6	2	17	30	58	-28	20
16	The Wateringhole Society	25	5	3	17	26	68	-42	18

The CFJs keep their five point lead despite a late scare at YTFIB. Chris and Co’s multi-million strike force of Morata and Sanchez scored in the first half-hour and Roberto Pereyra added a third straight after the break and it all looked comfy. Julian’s team hit back in the last ten minutes through Iborra and Defoe but a Shkodran Mustafi clean calmed the CFJs nerves. A late Alexandre Lacazette penalty secured a win for the Aardvarks at Markian and meant the gap to the leaders didn’t stretch to seven points.

The Muppets notched their tenth draw of the season (seven have been 2-2) when held by Claymore. Joao Mario smashed in to open his account for Clive on 13 minutes but Raheem Sterling and Sadio Mane scored either side of half-time to put Ryan in front. Aaron Crewel’s clean meant the game ended level. Fred and Dave fought out a 5-5 draw which keeps the Gardeners in fourth. Leroy Sane smashed in early to put Fred ahead, Josh King’s penalty levelled by half time. A Dele Alli brace had Fred 3-1 up on 66 minutes, P-E Aubameyang pulled one back from the spot before goals from Rondon and Salah looked to have sealed it for Fred with four minutes left. Record signing Aubameyang struck again though and Wes Morgan and Antonio Valencia meant it was honours even.

I haven’t given up on a top tree place after beating Wheels three-one. A deflected shot from Romelu Lukaku and a spectacular scissor-kick from Ashley Barnes (who needs Cristiano Ronaldo?) put me in control and while Jamie Vardy pulled one back I had a Paul Dummett clean in reserve. Despite Xherdan Shari’s best efforts Nil Satis went down 2-0 to the Artisans. Kiko Femenia and a Christian Erksen stunner getting the job done before the interval.

When Marko Arnautovic is in the mood he’s a sight to behold. And he was in the mood this week for Athletico with a brace against Trusted. Gabriel Jesus’ header had Beef ahead in this one but Arnautovic struck twice (his second a superb side-foot volley), Chris Wood added a third and Victor Lindelof added his first counter of the season to round out the win. Last week Kiran got seven counters and lost to the Aardvarks. This week Kiran got one (courtesy of Florian Lejeune’s clean) against the Cheese and won. Funny old game.