FA Cup 1st Round results - Wins for the bottom three

Aardvark Abacus 3 v 0 Claymore Athletic FC

Cheese Makers 4 v 4 Stanley and Gracie United

Mega Buck Bandits 2 v 5 The Cow-Faced Juniors

Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 1 v 2 Wheel Madrid

Real Muppets 0 v 3 Garth Crooks' Team of the Week

San Dimas High School 4 v 3 Markian United

The Wateringhole Society 4 v 5 The Fabulous Artisans

YTFIB 4 v 0 Trusted By Millions 

Replay

Stanley and Gracie United v Cheese Makers

I usually start these reports with how the holders got on. I’ll do that again today as I won’t get another chance this season. The Wateringhole Society are out after being on the wrong end of a nine-goal thriller against the Artisans. The scoring, Artisans first,  went 1-0, 1-1, 1-2, 2-2, 2-3, 3-3, 4-3, 4-4, 5-4. Ben’s Man of the Match was new signing Max Alleyne who scored the opener and added a clean sheet. Similarly thrilling was the 4-4 draw between Cheese Makers and SGU. In a breathtaking finale there were four goals in second half injury time. Rico Lewis and Pedro Neto goals cancelled each other out, Enzo Fernandez put Aaron in front on 90+4 but Anthony Gordon got the final equaliser of the game a minute later.

The PCMT-winning CFJs are on a terrible run in the league but the Cups seem to be bringing them to life. It's certainly revitalised Jorgen Strand Larsen whose hat-trick helped the Cows to a 5-2 win at Mega Bucks. Those three goals take the striker’s tally to four for the season. Claymore have won our FA Cup more times than anyone else still playing the game (five) but he won’t be adding to that tally after a 3-0 defeat at the Aardvarks. Morgan Rogers and Igor Jesus got on the scoresheet but the notable performer here was Aaron Hickey who got a clean for Ady just days after joining from Clive’s team.

San Dimas versus Markian was another cracking tie that finished 4-3 in my favour. Ian led once and equalised twice before Sepp van den Berg bagged the winning clean for the Saints. My three other scorers were all getting their first goal of the season. Great management. That should stave off the sack for a bit. Unless I have a go at the over-promoted Director of Football of course. Trusted are having a stinker of a season and YTFIB added to that by beating Beef’s team 4-0. Antoine Semenyo celebrated his new contract by getting the opener, Alex Scott and Kevin got their firsts of the campaign.

Another shock was the Muppets’ 3-0 reverse at home to Garth Crooks’ Team of the Week. A Gabriel Martinelli hat-trick including two near-post headers did the job for Ollie. Bottom of the table Wheel Madrid are also in to the quarters after winning 2-1 at Nil Satis. Emi Buendia opened the scoring for Wheels, James Garner levelled for Paul S late on but Hakn Rafn Valdimarsson picked up the wining clean sheet.